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I wonder why such articles are appearing on the web Asiaone news page. http://www.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews...101-319312.html The Star/Asia News Network Sunday, Jan 01, 2012 I am an undergraduate at a public university and am currently in my final year. I have a dark secret that's consuming my life. I can barely keep up with my studies and I've been failing a number of papers. Despite support from my family members and girlfriend, I still ended up failing. I feel really lost. I come from a very strict and conservative family. If my family members find out about my secret, they will be greatly disappointed. I'm troubled but have nobody to turn to. It all started back when I completed my final STPM paper. I was masturbating in my room and had forgotten to lock the door. Halfway through, my grandmother opened the door to call me for dinner and caught me in the act. I was shocked to see her and quickly pulled up my pants. She just kept quiet and walked away. I felt dirty, disgusted, guilty and ashamed of myself. After the incident, I always felt awkward whenever I saw my grandmother, but seeing her was inevitable as we lived under the same roof. Things became worse a few months after the incident. One day, after my parents and had siblings had gone out, I had to help grandmother prepare dinner. As we were talking, she kept saying how much I resembled my (deceased) grandfather when he was young and how much she missed him. There was a long pause, after which she gestured me to her room. I had a feeling I knew what was going to happen, but curiosity got the better of me. I cannot remember much after this. I knew it was wrong, but I proceeded anyway. It lasted no more than five minutes and I quickly left her room after that. It was all very confusing, but that did not stop me - I started having sex with my grandmother regularly after that. She passed away recently and I sank into depression. I cannot concentrate on my course and my relationship with my girlfriend has been affected. Every time we attempt to have sex, I just cannot perform and she is getting impatient. My grades are failing, my girlfriend is frustrated with me, my family is disappointed with me, and I still fantasise about my grandmother. What I should do? Should I be honest with my family about this? On The Edge (The Star reader) You need private counselling or psychiatric help because having sex with your grandmother would have pushed the feelings of guilt, shame and disgust with yourself even deeper than when she caught you masturbating. But you could not help yourself because your grandmother had wrongfully pushed you into an incestuous sexual relationship. You were young, hot and horny, and could not control your raging hormones and sexual desires. She encouraged you, and enticed you into her room. That you reminded her of her husband was a lame excuse. You were her grandson and had you been a minor, what she did was actually a criminal act of statutory rape. You have been a victim and until now, you cannot escape from the memories. To you, she was someone who loved you and kept you happy. However, in your heart and mind, you knew it was so wrong. The failing grades and your sexual dysfunction could probably be due to your emotional and mental anguish. You are in depression because you are struggling with your feelings. Unless you have a family member who will understand and not overreact over this, you should seek professional help. Your conservative family may have difficulty coming to terms with this shocking truth and you do not need people coming to you will all sorts of accusations and blame. You need to understand your feelings and sort out the confusion in your mind, and get over this.