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"Hello uncle!!!" The daughter of one of my neighbours, probably no older than four, animatedly greeted me as I passed them along the corridor. I courteously smiled and said hello in return. The child's parents praised her. "Oh good! You said hi to uncle!" Whoever this girl's pre-school teachers are, they are also doing a great job of helping to raise a polite child. Photo: Aaron Blanco Tejedor, Unsplash Unbeknownst to them, however, was the swell of anxiety that this interaction had triggered. Right after I had smiled and waved, I wanted to sprint back into the house, cover myself with a blanket and hide under the bed. Ironically, I have no trouble giving a presentation at work. And though I'm not a gifted, charismatic orator, I'm also comfortable speaking in front of a hundred people on topics I'm familiar with. However, interacting with children makes me feel awkward and anxious. Overthinking worsens the apprehension. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I accidentally blurt out a swear word while talking to the parents? What if I don't swear, but complain or say something negative while trying to make small talk? Or worse, in my edginess, I end up making a bad joke (probably toilet humour, horrors) while trying to calm myself? *Facepalm* My better half, of course, has no such issues. She is the one who plays with our three-year-old nephew. Having long realised that his uncle has little to no interest in interacting with him, he hardly approaches me. I have not progressed beyond the hellos and "Oh that's nice" when he shows me one of his toys. Photo: Lucas Favre, Unsplash A product of my environment Why do I find interacting with children awkward? Perhaps it's my upbringing. My maternal grandmother was the eldest daughter in her family, so my mum's aunts and uncles didn't have their kids till much later. Hence, by the time my second cousins arrived, I was already a teenager with no interest in carrying babies or playing with toddlers. It's the opposite on my dad's side. His older siblings had their kids earlier, so by the time I came along, my cousins had no interest in playing with me. As I child, I interacted with my classmates and other kids at playgrounds. But I never had to interact with children as I got older. So, being around them is awkward, to say the least. Well, my neighbours don't know about this. That morning, beneath the unruffled exterior, an innocent greeting caused air raid sirens to blare. Alongside them was a voice over the internal loudhailer yelling, "Take cover! Run away! Save yourself!" Fortunately, my neighbours entered the lift while I was sending recyclables down the chute. I relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief. Photo: Kelly Sikkema, Unsplash However, I realised that I should have waited five minutes before heading downstairs, for the girl and her mum were standing in the carpark waiting for the dad to bring the car around. Nervously, I assumed that since greetings had been exchanged, I could quietly walk by without anyone needing to say anything. I was mistaken. The moment I appeared in their line of sight, I was again greeted with a "Hello uncle!!!" with the same enthusiasm. The mum again praised her daughter for being courteous, as I mustered a diplomatic smile and wave in response. Well, it could have been 'worse'. The child could have been inquisitive and started asking where I was going, which would have led to a chat (albeit reluctantly). Like most folks, my neighbourly interactions are few and far between as I prefer keeping to myself. Besides, since everyone's work schedule is different, you hardly run into your neighbours anyway. Photo: Adam Jang, Unsplash Personal growth goal That said, this experience made me realise that I need to start overcoming my anxieties/insecurities. So, I've been preparing myself for the inevitability of encountering this family again. There is always room for personal growth. I am determined to overcome my apprehension as my immediate neighbour has a daughter who is almost two and given her parents' friendly disposition (they introduced themselves when they moved in), chances are their child will be, too. Remaining comfortable no matter what situation you're in is something worth striving for. At the very least, my neighbours might even start to think I'm a cool uncle. More importantly, perhaps in some small way, I'm helping those parents bring up courteous children. – Jeremy

Hey all, At this time, I know many people are affected by the global pandemic in one way or another. I would like to extend this to all MCFers, offering coaching sessions for issues that you want to talk about. Some things about my background, I have training in behavioral psychology, a business graduate, and into NLP. In my course of work, I did some counselling and mentoring. I'm quite seriously considering getting certified Coach or NLP, as my next jump. Hence, I want to do something for MCF community and at same time, to prep myself for the new level. Before anyone PM me, I need to make some things very clear. 1. You need to recognise that there is an issue that you want to change in yourself. This is most important for any coachee, that he must be willing to change 2. The session is not a complaint session where you blame the whole world except yourself 3. We will aim to set some measurable goals to achieve by certain timeline 4. Everything will be kept private. I'm not going to come in here and bitch about we had talked. And I expect the same from you 5. We can have regular sessions if you are willing to and find that there are progressions along the way. I will do my best to pace and contribute 6. No gimmicks. I'm not going to make you pay something later. Maybe after CB over, you can buy me $1 coffee and talk somemore. Now because I'm not God, I can't solve everything under the sun. I think I feel most comfortable in talking in these areas in life: 1. Relationships / Dating (also includes "how to have a girlfriend", "how to date a girl" or "how to be a better boyfriend") 2. Stress / Happiness 3. Career 4. Parenting (I'm a parent myself) 5. Communication The session will be done via online: Zoom or Teams or similar. I aim to keep it to 45 mins max per session. Anyone keen, just PM me. Take care!