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Recently, I had a scare at work. My laptop was suddenly unable to access the Internet despite working fine the entire day. A check with IT showed that the browser I was using, Arc, had somehow triggered the Falcon cybersecurity program, which promptly locked down my laptop despite the browser having worked fine for almost a year at that point. While I thankfully had cleared out my video backlog before it happened (most of them pending approval, a couple ready to publish), I was unable to access the Internet both for research (and background music/videos for stimulation) and my blog drafts on Google Docs, so I ended up writing a fair bit of this post in Microsoft Word before it was resolved. Amid my initial restlessness, I started to wonder about how the world we live in has become so hyper-connected that any inconvenience, as I found out, can cause major disruptions to our lifestyles. A CATCH-22 SITUATION Much has been said about the effects of digital tools like the Internet and social media on its users. Regardless of whether you do the finger-pointing or find yourself on the receiving end of someone else’s, we can all plead guilty to spending more time with devices than we’d like. If not doom scrolling, we’re putting aside healthy activities like sleep and going outside to finish a binge watch of a new Netflix series, or play one more round of, I don’t know, League of Legends. Outside of leisure, the average worker is still interacting with digital devices for work. We often hear of how hard it is for Singaporeans to avoid working after official working hours, but even within those hours, we spend so much time looking at screens that there is plenty of documentation of health problems arising from looking at one thing (a screen in many cases) for hours on end. “But… but we need to get work done to survive,” one might argue. Truly a depressing realisation. IS THERE REALLY NO HAPPINESS (WITHOUT DIGITAL DEVICES)? There has been a resurgence of offline lifestyles, perhaps a pushback against the increased digitalisation of our lives during the COVID-19 pandemic. They can manifest as “digital detoxes” where practitioners abstain from technology completely for brief periods of time, as well as solutions like turning our existing smartphones into “dumb phones” to reduce device use to essential functions like communications (i.e. phone calls and messages). There is even “digital minimalism”, a term coined by American professor Cal Newport who promoted a process of deliberate engagement with technology in a book of the same title. This was my second time seeing Porter Robinson in person, after the Singapore stop of the Nurture Live Asia Tour 2023. I thought that was one of my best nights of 2023, but the Smile World Tour turned out to be even better in terms of audience participation. In the same vein, I attended Porter Robinson’s Smile World Tour (why can't I un-emoji my text?) at the Star Performing Arts Centre when he stopped by Singapore towards the end of November 2024. I took quite a fair bit of videos and photos as keepsakes, but since there’s always at least one person recording the entire show, I can’t help but feel I would’ve enjoyed myself even more than I already did if I kept my phone away more. The guy on my right sure had the time of his life though, singing his heart out to every word without shooting a single video. Perhaps I should try putting down my phone more often. Videos are nice, but they’re not as good as the real thing. ~ Wei Feng Cover image: Yazid N on Unsplash Images from: Kev Costello on Unsplash, Myself

1 in 3 adolescents report depression, anxiety but only 10% of parents can spot mental health issues: NUS-led study NUS and its research partners did a survey to "understand and establish” the mental health and resilience of adolescents here About one in three of the youth reported mental health symptoms such as depression, anxiety and loneliness This was more serious among those aged 14 to 16 It also found that only around one in 10 parents were able to identify "clinical-level mental health symptoms" in their children The survey's lead researcher said the results will help inform and guide the planning of prevention and treatment services here, especially for those at risk https://www.todayonline.com/singapore/1-3-adolescents-depression-anxiety-only-1-10-parents-spot-symptoms-2159106

I suspect I may have a mild form of this, but 50+ liao, just leave it be. https://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/cnainsider/she-married-man-autism-spectrum-disorder-asd-asperger-syndrome-14957564 She didn’t know she’d married a man on the autism spectrum. Neither did her hubby What happens when your soulmate does not communicate his feelings, understand social cues or play up the romance — because he has a disability? Finding out about Asperger’s syndrome was the first step in saving this couple’s marriage. SINGAPORE: Ten years into her marriage, Amy* began to wonder: “Did I sign up for the wrong thing?” Jake* (not their real names) was not putting effort into the relationship. He still refused to call her parents “mum” and “dad” (a Chinese tradition) or speak more than two sentences to them. He was adamant about staying out of her social gatherings too. It was as if he did not want to be a part of her life. There was this nagging feeling that Jake was indifferent, even rude. “I just couldn’t put my finger on it,” says Amy. “I felt he was just being so difficult … I felt very lonely.” Jake, however, felt he was anything but indifferent. He was logical. But there never seemed a right explanation for why he was more comfortable waiting in the car than joining Amy with her friends; why it was nonsense to call someone who was not related by blood “mum” or “dad”; why his loyalty to her was enough for the relationship. The couple were heading for divorce. Then Jake read the book, Look Me In The Eye: My Life With Asperger’s. He cried alone in the car while he was at it. At 37 years old, his life finally made sense. But this was difficult to accept when approaching middle age. “I started blaming myself because of my condition. It'd caused a misunderstanding; it'd affected our relationship,” he says. Two years later, he still cries when talking about it. “I realised I’ve struggled so much with my life because of this.” In layman’s terms, Asperger’s syndrome is a milder and less disabling form of autism, characterised by social awkwardness, a poor understanding of social cues and displaying few emotions. People with Asperger’s may have high intelligence and above average verbal skills. Since 2013, it is no longer classified as a diagnosis of its own but a part of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). For Amy, she could look back on her relationship and realise how Asperger’s explained many things, even the little things. She could finally know, and accept, her husband for who he truly was. THE FIRST DATE, AND MIXED SIGNALS Jake was the kind of guy you would have noticed from across the room. Not because he was exceptionally good-looking or charming, but because he always had his head down. “I found this guy very strange, very shy,” recalls Amy, who worked in the same company, but different department, as him. They often crossed paths, but he always averted his gaze, so she seldom thought about him — until a mutual friend set them up. “My colleague got me to approach her,” says Jake, who was not actually shy. On their first date, they bonded over their love of food, travelling and films, and she had a good feeling. But after that date, it was as if he “didn’t know how to carry on to the next one”. They chatted through texts, but nothing seemed to be moving forward. “I thought if he were interested in me, he’d show more interest. He was giving mixed signals. He was keeping a distance,” says Amy. “But I was hooked already.” Unable to “tahan” (bear it) any more, she decided not to wait for him to make up his mind. She showed up at his place, heart in hand. “He was so happy,” she says. I just became the proactive one, like I was the man, and he was the woman. He was the only guy who could make me do this. But the rest was not yet history. One incident has puzzled them until today. As a sweet gesture, Amy bought Jake breakfast, driving at least 20 minutes from her home in the west to him in the east. She bought two sets just in case, since she still had not figured out what he liked to eat. “I threw the breakfast in the dustbin,” he says. He had misunderstood her intentions and thought she was giving him breakfast because she had an extra set, as if he was an afterthought. “I didn’t want to accept this kind of thing,” he says. But because she was less sensitive than him, she says, it turned out fine. “I rarely get angry. I’m a very non-judgemental person,” she adds. “If you don’t want it, it’s okay. You throw lah … What can I do, right? “I found it peculiar. But I saw that he was very upset, so I probed and found out that I have to be very careful and communicate a lot with him to make sure that he knows what I’m trying to convey.” Jake was also a little awkward and kind of random. “There was once we were on the train, on the way to a good meal. Then suddenly, with no small talk at all, he blurted out: ‘I earn less than you,’” Amy recalls. “I looked at him and wondered, ‘Er, why are you telling me this?’” When they were around friends, he took a long time to warm up. Even when he did, “sometimes the conversation would’ve ended already, but suddenly, he’d add something, and nobody would laugh or respond”. But she never wondered if there was anything wrong with him. “Maybe I’m also wired differently,” she quips. After eight months of dating, Jake felt ready and “put on all (his) courage”. One evening when Amy was at a restaurant with friends, a rabbit mascot turned up at the window, ring in hand. “I just thought this was the thing I needed to do … to get her to marry me,” he says. It was completely out of character for him given his social anxiety, she acknowledges. “I think he nearly wanted to faint already. Everybody was looking at him!” But what made him sure she was the one when it had been less than a year? “I did all my evaluation already,” he replies. “Everything about her was just right to be my wife, my partner. “I don’t have to struggle to find something to talk to her about. She’s very interesting, she brightened up my life. “I’m a very boring person, but she’s like sunshine.” Of course, she said yes. LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE One of the telltale signs that one’s relationship difficulties might be due to Asperger’s syndrome, reads an article by Australia-based therapy provider The Hart Centre, is if the “relationship had a passionate start, but the passion dwindled quite quickly when you started to live together”. (It listed 55 signs.) It was so for Amy and Jake, and it began with the little things. Every Chinese New Year was a nightmare for the couple, and not just because they had to fend off nosy relatives. Jake refused to see his in-laws as anything more than an “auntie” and “uncle”, which made the custom of “bai nian”, or exchanging festive greetings, awkward. “It’s just calling them (mum and dad). You won’t die, right?” Amy says. “But he just couldn’t do it. We’d quarrel over it and arrive at my parents’ place in a very bad mood. “I just felt he was so rude.” To this day, he stands by “auntie” and “uncle”. When he goes to their place, he “(sits) there on the sofa quietly and does (his) own thing”. When it came to her friends, she had hoped he would be more involved in things like attending a baby shower or a birthday party where she wanted a supportive plus one. But he would drive her there, “park the car at the car park and refuse to come out”. “He’d say, ‘I’ll wait for you in the car. Can you not force me to go?’” she recalls. “I mean, it was just fun, nothing so serious … Why did he make a mountain out of a molehill?” He had “zero friends”, she adds, which was shocking news when they first started dating. “It’s not that I don’t need friends. I only need one friend,” he says. “My mother was my best friend. But after my parents divorced, I needed a new best friend.” Her role was replaced by one pupil in primary school and then another in secondary school. “After secondary school, all I needed was a girlfriend,” says Jake. After I met Amy, she became my wife, my best friend, my companion, my everything. Romantic as that may sound, she wanted him “to be involved” in her life. “I have friends, I have family. This is part of our lives,” she says. “I felt very sad. Why was I doing all these things alone, yet he was just happy where he was?” Resentment accumulated, the emotional distance between the couple widened, and around the turn of the decade, divorce was on the table. “That was when we started to look into ourselves and realised the root of the issue,” Amy says. They discovered Asperger’s syndrome and felt that it was “almost 100 per cent identical” to what they were facing. She felt ignored, and Jake was unable to perceive her feelings all along. Had he known what she wanted, he would have done “everything” he could, he says. “I’ll do 120 per cent to make her happy.” Since then, he has been practising demonstrating his feelings, with her help. “We take the guesswork out of the relationship,” she says. “He’d also explicitly tell me the things he doesn’t like.” She has realised his world is siloed. For lack of a better comparison, he is “like a dog”, she says. “He’s very loyal, and his world is all about me, whereas as a neurotypical person, my world is a lot more.” She can now shake off the feeling that she must answer to her parents or friends for her husband’s quirks. “I don’t have an explanation for it, right? He thinks if they’re not his parents, there’s no reason to call them that,” she says. “At the end of the day, parents just want to see their daughter or son, not so much their son- or daughter-in-law.” And her parents, after 10 years, “know he’s weird lah”. She adds: “I married him not because of my parents (but) because I like him. I enjoy spending time with him, so I don’t really care what my parents think.” The same applies to her friends. “With or without him, we still can enjoy ourselves,” she says. “I actually don’t need him there, (otherwise) I may be happy, but he’d be struggling on the inside. I’d be making him suffer.” In this vein, she says that “more than support, (people like Jake) need understanding”. WHAT TO DO IF YOUR PARTNER IS ON THE SPECTRUM Psychologist Jocelyn Chua, who helps autistic individuals with mental health issues like depression and anxiety, says individuals with lower support needs — who belong to the higher-functioning end of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) — often find themselves misunderstood. “One of the key deficits they have is social communication. So when you aren’t able to intuitively understand how to relate to others, when everything requires rehearsal and planning, it’s very effortful for you to be in the company of people,” she says. “Because their appearance is like (that of) a neurotypical person, you can’t tell they have such difficulties. So a lot of times we might jump to the conclusion that this person was being rude. “And because of that, it’d lead to misunderstandings and then … fractures in relationships, which eventually would lead to a sense of loneliness.” She also cautions against assuming anyone who appears to be “quirky” or “weird” is autistic. “I refrain, as far as possible, from using these terms,” she says. “My angle is really about understanding what your strengths are. What are the difficulties you’re currently faced with? What are some skills that you lack and perhaps need to develop? Or is it about a perspective that may not be balanced, that’s contributing to certain struggles?” Symptoms of ASD typically appear from childhood, but they could also be related to social anxiety rather than ASD. “So it’s not just one episode. It’s a continuation throughout your life. Some might also have active functioning difficulties, meaning they have difficulties in organising,” she adds. “When we use a label, chances are we have a certain stereotype in mind. We might forget that the individual is first a unique person, and the diagnosis is just something in addition to the person.” For her part, Amy discovered that her husband’s disability did not change the fact that they loved each other. “All this miscommunication wasn’t because he didn’t love me,” she says. “We felt there was still love. We still wanted to work on the relationship.” His brutal honesty makes her feel that she can be a better person. “It’s not very nice to listen to, but that’s how it is. At the least, when you hear the truth it helps to take you on a path of improvement,” she says. And being his whole world need not be a bad thing as she sees it. “He’s very loyal to people he puts his trust in — I think that’s a very, very, very rare thing in the world.” What they enjoy most of all is each other’s company. “We have a lot of deep conversations about movies,” cites Amy. “We cook together, we spend time together.” Jake can be affectionate, too, if she reminds him. In the past, she would get angry and hurt as he did not use to like being touched, especially when he was doing things. “But I get it now — it’s just a pet peeve,” she says. "We know our threshold now, and when we notice we’re hitting it, we won’t go further.” What about physical intimacy, like sex, which hinges on subtle cues for some? “Just last night,” Jake says, apparently unperturbed, to which Amy responds: “Don’t need to be so specific! That’s Asperger’s syndrome, yah? He can never lie.” She adds: “I believe physical intimacy is still very important in a relationship … Sometimes you don’t even need language. (Touch) gives assurance to each other.” EMBRACING ASPERGER’S Learning about Asperger’s syndrome was one thing; accepting it was another, including on Jake’s part. But when he did, it helped him to “face the world” knowing what he can and cannot do. He has become “a much happier person” since then. “You’d know that you’re not doing things because you’re a bad person,” he says. Sensitive to sound, wind and lights, he also used to be affected by the names he had been called: Loner. Weirdo. Alien. But that part “doesn’t matter” to him any more. To other people dealing with relationship difficulties due to Asperger’s syndrome (suspected or confirmed), he says: “You first have to understand yourself, your shortcomings and your own challenges, and then understand your behaviour. “Then start making changes to adapt to this world, especially to your partner or your potential partner. You have to understand your partner’s needs, and then make sure to communicate very well that you have Asperger’s syndrome. “This is a world of neurotypical people, so they don’t have to do anything. The person with Asperger’s syndrome would need to do more because this isn’t a world for them.” Amy feels that neurotypical people, however, can and should step up — and that disability is not the determining factor in a relationship. “There must be love. If there’s no love, everything can fall (apart) for a reason,” she says. “I put myself in his shoes and realised nobody wants to be the odd one out. “After knowing he has this condition, I know he’s not doing things on purpose. I can live with it.” To others like her, she says: “Don’t close up just because somebody is different. “Look at what the person has rather than what he doesn’t have. If that’s something you value, then you can work on this relationship. “(People on the spectrum) might look boring on the surface, but their world is so rich … Don’t (sell) yourself short. Have an open heart. “The rest is just noise.” This is part of a series on adults with autism navigating the neurotypical world of work, marriage and identity. Source: CNA/dp

For people who are suffering from anxiety, what are the things that they could do to help them cope with the disorder? What are the treatment options for anxiety disorders?

Shared by a friend in the industry. Please read and if you can, donate to or volunteer at NGOs that help foreign workers such as TWC2, HealthServe or Migrant Workers' Centre. They are quite severely stretched now so all help are welcome! Source : https://www.ricemedia.co/current-affairs-features-migrant-workers-phase-2-financial-fears-mental-health/ In Phase 2, Migrant Workers Battle Financial Fears And A Mental Health Crisis Published 4 August 2020 Selected quotes reproduced below

In these times, What would you do to take care of your mental health?

'Is my anxiety normal?': How Covid-19 may affect mental health source: https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/health/is-my-anxiety-normal?utm_medium=social&utm_source=telegram&utm_campaign=sttg Friends call extroverted medical student Katelyn Joy Chiu, 22, a sunshine girl. Nothing rains on her parade. But she had "an overwhelming sense of uneasiness" when she started serving her 14-day stay-home notice on March 19, after curtailing a trip to London to visit her sister. She was disappointed about lost opportunities, too, for she had to forgo hard-won clinical attachments in a Tel Aviv hospital, a Papua New Guinea medical ship and also stints in Singapore from April to June. Anxiety heightened when more countries went into lockdown and infections grew exponentially, the bad news flooding her social media. "It became very scary. It felt like Covid-19 was in my bedroom," she recounts. "Covid-19 is a vicious annoyance that disregards everything." To turn things around, she made a to-do list from day one. She spent time doing videos of cover songs, creating an Instagram Live worship-and-sharing hour with a Christian friend that 400 people viewed, and working on her palliative care academic project at home. "I made my bed to kick-start my day, so there was no temptation to lounge in bed or take afternoon naps." Importantly, she accepted the situation and realised she was privileged. The minute her stifling confinement ended on April 2, Miss Chiu and her boyfriend took a midnight drive to West Coast Park and strolled, then drove to East Coast Park and walked again, savouring the fresh air. FEELING TEARY Like Ms Chiu, people with no underlying mental health issues may feel overwhelmed during the pandemic and wonder why they are teary or heavy-hearted. They are experiencing Covid-19 anxiety, a prolonged time of heightened anxiety and even loss, experts say. Ms Elysia Tan, senior counsellor at Touch Integrated Family Group, which serves families, children, youth and people who require mental health support, says: "In Singapore, which like the other major cities globally is highly efficient and enjoys much stability, people may find themselves out of their comfort zone." Also, people are social beings and may not be accustomed to social distancing from loved ones, friends and colleagues, she adds. TOTAL DISRUPTION So this is a vastly altered state of life that Singaporeans are trying to adapt to. "Covid-19 is a total disruption," says Ms Sarah Poh, mental health counsellor and founder of The Therapy Platform, a therapy booking platform. American grief expert David Kessler articulated the sadness now engulfing people worldwide: "The loss of normalcy; the fear of economic toll; the loss of connection." In an interview with the Harvard Business Review, he said: "This is hitting us and we're grieving. Collectively. We are not used to this kind of collective grief in the air." Still, some grief or anxiety is normal and can even quicken a sense of purpose. "People who have been feeling teary or heavy-hearted sometimes could well be having a normal response to the pandemic,'' Dr Goh notes. Normal anxiety does not paralyse a person, experts say. But if the anxiety is recurrent, overwhelming, causes mood changes like irritability, and even triggers physical symptoms such as insomnia, indigestion and body aches, it may be time to seek professional attention, they counsel. FACING FAMILY 24/7 Meanwhile, mental healthcare professionals express concern about families under stress, including the functional households. Dr Goh says children are experiencing a lot of stress from the abrupt cessation of school and, for now, there are teething issues with home learning. "It is important to note that our anxiety can be 'contagious' for the little ones," he emphasises. Children do best when they have a good routine, and get to play, he adds. "You may wish to consider simulating the school routine of having recess and lunch time between home learning. Do remember to have some play time with your children. When was the last time you did that?" In compact Singapore homes, conflict over shared space can arise. Ms Poh of The Therapy Platform notes that in space-scarce Singapore, people face their families 24/7. This intensifies during the circuit breaker month. "The key here is to have respect and set boundaries over what is private space and what is communal space. Without good conversation around space use, tension can rise quickly within the family,'' she says. "Actually, the conversation will be more about person-to-person values, then about actual size of space. Instead of waiting for conflict to happen, have a planned conversation by the 'leaders', who are usually the parents." People of every temperament have to manage, including chirpy extroverts. Extroverts, who draw energy from social interaction, may have a hard time with diminished connection. "Instead of looking to the outside now, perhaps now is the golden opportunity for us to nurture our inner life. Having excess time being by ourselves, we have to learn to enjoy our own company,'' says Ms Poh. Other expert tips encompass being aware of the roots of your anxiety, living in the present and limiting the virtual life. Ms Christine Wong, a psycho-traumatology practitioner, mentions a client who had a never-experienced level of Covid-19 anxiety. "She said she was worried about employment, but her job was stable." After delving into the situation, the client, a professional in her 40s, understood that her anxiety stemmed from around the age of six when her father went bankrupt after his business failed. In the middle of the night, the family had to move. Her mother cried in front of the children. "If we understand what's happening, it gives us huge clarity,'' says Ms Wong. "It's half the battle won." Dr Adrian Wang, a psychiatrist and counsellor who practises at Gleneagles Medical Centre, placed the pandemic in perspective. "The virus is a finite thing,'' he said at a Web In Travel webinar last month on managing Covid-19 fear and anxiety. "Eventually this storm will pass. It's not a never-ending pattern of gloom and doom."