Secret to A successful Marriage

[Eric19]

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last:

 

Two times a week,

we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Sydney and mine is in Melbourne.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!". So I bought her an electric chair.

 

Remember....

Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?".... I said, "Dust!"

 

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and

rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

 

Why do men die before their wives? 'Cause they want to'.

[Gadgeter]

This one cannot let your CO see... else...

[Super7]

.......

 

husband to wife: i have never slept with any other women since the day i met you..

wife: really?

husband: sure, at least not in singapore........

Edited January 3, 2003 by Super7

[Seansene]

Oooooooh.....

[Jgoh]

I like [to respond to] your post, but dare not... no wonder my marriage sooo successful!!!

[Offroader]

I can respond to ur post but marroage still hold because, my co dont log on to the site...hehehe

[Super7]

MARRIAGE means:

M -- Mai-quarrel

A -- Arka-liao with MIL

R -- Remember Birthday n Anniversay

R -- Repeat same every year

I -- Ignore short comings of spouse in a positive way

A -- Always behave as if you two juz started romancing

G -- Go shopping with her (and she'll let you go MCF meetups)..... vice versa for wife

E -- Ever ready to do things (mainly small will be a good start) to please (not piss) him/her

 

that's all i can think of..... a theory not yet fully applied in real time situations yet..... (having a splitting headache now after thinking so hard)

Edited January 3, 2003 by Super7

[Gadgeter]

Foo,

 

G -- Go shopping with her (and she'll let you go MCF meetups)..... vice versa for wife

 

The above dont works for me.... I don't go shopping and still gets to come for meetups..

[RadX]

Ahem...wait till ur contract expire!!!

 

 

Marriage - the beginning of a life sentence...

Edited January 3, 2003 by E46RadX

[Gadgeter]

That's why must state the Rules and Regulation..

[Super7]

you lucky fella

[Gadgeter]

Thanks... many years of hard work...

[Camrysfa]

Maybe he chose a wrong partner for life.

But surely, his choice of a toilet to display his displeasure is puzzling.....

 

http://www.khaleejtimes.com/kt-article-display-1.asp?xfile=data/offbeat/2015/May/offbeat_May28.xml&section=offbeat

 

 

The 68-year-old man told police he dumped his wife’s ashes into the toilet bowl at a Tokyo supermarket immediately after she was cremated last month.

 

Tokyo: A Japanese man turned himself in to authorities after trying to flush the ashes of his “hated” dead wife down a supermarket toilet.

 

Police were alerted after the ashes, and bone fragments including a human chin, were discovered, but were at a loss to explain them until the man handed himself in.

 

He had felt growing resentment towards his spouse over the years of their unhappy marriage.

 

“I had hatred mounting against her,” the man, whose name was not disclosed, was quoted as saying. “Life was such a pain before she died.”

 

His wife had died at the age of 64, following an illness.

 

Prosecutors are now considering whether to lay charges of abandoning a human body, as ashes can only be scattered in approved locations, a Tokyo police spokesman told AFP.