Straits Times - Devastated after being rejected by three schools for DSA: How to help your child cope

[Sosaria]

On 9/2/2024 at 8:52 AM, yishunite said:

Didnt a coach or teacher recently get arrested for doing something like this?

It's a coach. And that's the thing about some school cca these days. The teachers get arrowed to lead the cca but many are not familiar and can only be administrators. The external coach hired through gebiz runs the show.

Different from the days in my JC , I was in track, and the coach was also one of the PE  teacher. I remember the swim team coach was also another PE teacher.

Last time all amateur, nowadays win at all costs mentality, must hire pro coach.

[Lala81]

On 9/2/2024 at 10:44 AM, Throttle2 said:

if your numbers are correct, then dragon year shit in terms of more competition in tertiary education and jobs is just a myth.

Reason being 2 to 3 k more births is less than 10%.  

Perhaps for early education, a tad harder to get into kindergartens or Primary Schools. but by the time these dragon babies progress into sec school poly JC Uni, I think it's reasonable to say that the 7-8% would already have joined the batch prior to or after them.  and by the time they look for a job, the Dragon year baby effect would have totally dissipated.

 

 

Yes once it reaches job levels, in this day and age the gaps have reduced. The % increase used to be larger.

The effect definitely was there for primary school entry. getting my girl's primary school spot was definitely harder.

Primary and Secondary school spots are pretty static. Most popular schools are running optimum or max class sizes allowed by them by MOE. They don't vary much whether there is a range of 31k to 35k students entering every year.

They only have so many classrooms and staff. It's the other schools that pick up or feel the slack.

 

[limpeh6969]

On 9/1/2024 at 7:24 PM, noobcarbuyer said:

https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/parenting-education/devastated-after-being-rejected-by-three-schools-for-dsa-how-to-help-your-child-cope

Devastated after being rejected by three schools for DSA: How to help your child cope

SINGAPORE – Ms K. Chong’s son was devastated when he was rejected by all three schools he had applied to in the 2023 Direct School Admission (DSA) exercise, especially after he had spent six years learning the erhu twice a week.

The boy, who was selected to join the school’s Chinese Orchestra co-curricular activity in Primary 1, initially cried about having to go for lessons, but eventually committed to them and took yearly exams.

Ms Chong, 45, a housewife, says she did not consider DSA seriously initially, but started doing so when her son was encouraged by his teachers to apply for it in upper primary.

The DSA exercise allows students to apply to a secondary school of their choice based on an area of talent, which could include sports, performing arts or a specific academic area, before taking the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE).

“I thought he was gifted in this area, so I put in effort for him. After spending money and time on lessons, I thought it was a sure thing to get into a school via DSA,” Ms Chong says.

To maximise his chances, she chose schools with different cut-off points: an affiliated school, a co-ed school and a neighbourhood school.

“We went for a wide range of schools so that one of them would accept him, no matter his results,” she says.

When the final rejection came in mid-September, Ms Chong kept it from her son so that his preparation for PSLE later in the month would not be affected, “but he more or less knew”.

“He was upset and did not want to talk about it, but I’m glad he eventually took it in his stride,” says Ms Chong, who adds that he has stopped playing the erhu.

She hopes schools can shed more light on the selection criteria.

“It’s not transparent enough. There is not enough information on the criteria. I would like to know how the selection was done,” she adds.

With a record number of applications from the 2024 Primary 6 cohort who were born in the Year of the Dragon, there may be a bumper crop of rejections this year.

Experts say that parents should first process their own disappointment before helping their child get over the rejection, because children are sensitive to their parents’ emotions.

National Institute of Education senior lecturer Kit Phey Ling, who is also a practising counselling psychologist, suggests that parents reflect on how they view the DSA exercise.

“If a parent views the DSA as a way for his or her child to get into the ideal school and that it is unacceptable for the child to get into other schools, then the child would tend to frame success in obtaining DSA entry as extremely important,” she says.

One way to deal with the situation is for parents to broaden the definition of success. They can, for instance, consider a range of schools and reframe the DSA as one of many pathways to help their child achieve his or her life goals.

Bukit Panjang Government High School (BPGH) principal Seet Tiat Hee says it is important that parents first consider schools that best meet their child’s talent area as well as academic abilities.

This is especially so as some children find it hard to cope after getting into a school.

One parent, whose daughter got into her preferred secondary school via DSA for violin, now regrets the move as the girl is struggling academically.

Madam L.H. Huang, a communications manager in her early 50s, says her 15-year-old daughter is stressed out by the pace of school and amount of homework.

“She is overwhelmed with trying to catch up with her studies, leaving her with little time to pursue what she’s really good at – music. Also, she does not quite enjoy her string ensemble CCA, as the pieces are not challenging enough,” she says.

Helping children cope with DSA rejections

Experts say parents should first acknowledge the child’s feelings.

Ms Vivyan Chee, Singapore Children’s Society’s deputy director and head of flourishing minds, a mental health service for children and youth, suggests that parents allow their child to express his or her disappointment without immediately trying to fix the situation.

“Parents can say things like, ‘I can see that you’re really disappointed and it’s okay to feel that way.’ This helps the child to feel understood and supported,” she says.

Parents can then gently guide their child to see the bigger picture, emphasising that this one setback does not define a person’s worth or future success, she adds.

It helps to have open conversations about the possibility of rejection, says Ms Chee.

“This helps children understand that rejection is a normal part of life and that it does not diminish their abilities or potential,” she says.

Preparing children for different outcomes can help them approach the process with a growth mindset, where the focus is on learning and development rather than just the result.

Ms June Yong, a family life specialist at Focus on the Family Singapore, says adopting a growth mindset is especially helpful in situations where the outcome is not guaranteed.

For instance, parents could remind their child that he or she can always try another path if this does not work out.

“This carries a sense of optimism and hope, while holding onto a healthy dose of reality, where rejection is always a possible outcome,” Ms Yong says.

Parents can also share their own stories of setbacks and how the experiences helped them become more resilient, she adds.

“If practised consistently, the child will come to view PSLE as an important exam that has some bearing on one’s opportunities for future learning, but does not impede on one’s identity and worth,” she says.

Regardless of the DSA outcome, parents should praise their child for the effort put in to develop his or her talent area, says Mr Chia Guo Hao, principal of Chung Cheng High School (Yishun).

“This helps them to understand that the hard work they put in is valuable,” he adds.

Strategies to help children bounce back to revise for PSLE

After getting a DSA rejection, let your child take a break. Allow him or her a few days to work through his or her emotions and disappointment, suggests Mr Zhou Shicai, founder of NickleBee Tutors which offers advanced maths programmes for upper primary pupils.

For his students who do not manage to secure a confirmed offer, he advises them to see the DSA rejection as an opportunity to improve.

He often shares the saying by Canadian-American inventor Alexander Graham Bell with his students: “When one door closes, another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

BPGH’s Mr Seet adds that parents can remind their children that they will still have another chance to enter the school of their choice by doing well for PSLE. 

Dr Kit says parents can discuss with their children what they have learnt from the DSA preparation and assessment process, and identify how these lessons can be used to help improve PSLE preparation.

Ms Chee says a useful way to help children regain focus on their revision is to remind them of their strengths and consider how far they have come in their academic journey.

She says parents should engage their children in non-academic activities to show them that “they matter outside of their studies”.

Creating a supportive home environment where the child feels encouraged and motivated can significantly boost their resilience and readiness for the PSLE, she adds.

What can parents say to their child?

Mr Zhou suggests telling your child this: “You may not be a right fit for this school at this point, but we have other options available to us.”

Another suggestion is: “Let’s focus on improving ourselves so that when the next opportunity comes along, we will be more than ready.”

He says this would help a child understand that there will always be situations beyond his control and it is more important to learn to respond to setbacks.

Dr Kit says parents can also use another phrase that can instil hope in the child: “You can still get into a good school if you prepare well and do well in the PSLE.”

Parents can also use the rejection as an opportunity to strengthen their relationship with their child, by showing their child that he or she is loved unconditionally.

Says Dr Kit: “The comfort that children derive from their parents at this time will allow them to recover from their disappointment and refocus on PSLE preparation more quickly.”
 

https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/parenting-education/devastated-after-being-rejected-by-three-schools-for-dsa-how-to-help-your-child-cope

 

not all is lost. after learning erhu for 6 yrs limpeh believe he can at least be a busker. try playing in one holland village bah 

[Throttle2]

got DSA for smoking cigars boh?  It's an Art form

[Mkl22]

On 9/2/2024 at 12:54 AM, Soya said:

Smlj DSA? Every skool is a good skool bah...

 

 

I think we should have a school named SMLJ Secondary School. 
for all the SMLJ students and parents. Who knows maybe can become president or prime minister too. 🤣

[serenade]

I am reading three storylines here:

1. That the selection DSA process is vague and subjective

2. That the kid took unable to accept being rejected for not being good enough

3. Pushy parent that things spending time and money can buy talent and success to get into good school via DSA for a CCA, the kid does not even love

For #2, the kid better get used to being rejected in life and learn to bounce back quickly to try again. He is going to experience setbacks in job selection, promotions, girlfriends, bonuses etc.  If not good enough, have to accept it and work at getting better, without any favours.

For #3, even if spend $500k, the kid has no talent nor love of the craft, he will not make it. The fact that the kid stopped playing the erhu after the disappointment means he does not love it. Take this to national level or international level, and the lack of talent will be cruelly exposed. If we take professional mainstream sports as an example. For every top 100 in the world, there are hundreds of thousands of others who tried very hard in the sport, but failed. They are good in their own right, but not good enough to earn a living as sports professional. Look at pro golf, pro tennis, pro badminton, pro cycling etc. 

Pro sportsmen in individual sports have to accept losing, and learn to lose with dignity. Racket sports is especially hard psychologically. Every time they take to the court, one wins and other loses.  To accumulate a string a losses is common. The key is being able to bounce back fast. 

[Mkl22]

On 9/2/2024 at 2:51 PM, Throttle2 said:

This coach if found to have been scamming , cheating parents and schools definitely needs to be fined big big with all licences revoked plus a jail term at the bare minimum.

There could even be more people involved, so thats why the keep mum.   imagine, MOE's horrors if school teacher and pricipal had taken bribes for admitting student ....

WTknow would say " Jit Dong Chiang" liao

If a minister can jiak… what more a lowly principal or teacher….. 

[Throttle2]

On 9/2/2024 at 2:28 PM, Mkl22 said:

If a minister can jiak… what more a lowly principal or teacher….. 

i have a different view.  
if character is good, salary low also wont jiak

If character is no good, salary high high also jiak (as evidenced time and time again) 

so using salary to “prevent” corruption doesnt sound right to me.

paying people what they are worth properly, yes definitely

Edited September 2 by Throttle2

[Heartlander]

On 9/2/2024 at 12:26 PM, yishunite said:

You said yours is multiple Ks then times by several parents ends up also $40-50k no? This sounds like needs clarification of guidelines. Your "teacher" got clear conflict of interest taking money to "coach" DSA applicant

You read that article is $40k to $50k per student lah. My girl's case is bothering on abit of grey area like most of DSA situations where students support the teachers on certain events to earn favour which is not so guaranteed. 

Let me shed ore light. For example for certain musical instrument for certain Secondary schools, there would be certain teachers-in-charge who most likely is certain accomplished artists who is well known in the industry and conducting lessons on the side with many students. The primary school CCA teachers are certainly aware of this and would advice their students to take lessons from these teachers for a year or 2, or more. Seems some teachers are picky on who to coach so those not talented or trying to milk the system without putting in efforts would be weeded out at first level. There is certainly prestige associating at being the disciples of these teachers. So in a way these students would have a high chance to succeed in DSA as is since they would have put in many hours of training and excel in the instruments. For example I cannot imagine students not able to secure DSA placement if they can pass Grade 8 assessment for any instruments at P6 since they are of international standard.

In a way this whole system is abit weird as it is difficult to fault the teachers for coaching the students and then bar them from assessing them subsequently for DSA potential quoting conflict of interest. These teachers are talented in the instruments and nothing wrong to have many students in the first place, and definitely not fair to expect them to coach or give lessons for free as they need to earn their keep also. I would think this is the more genuine approach rather than the case now of parents paying $40k for chances without the students putting in the necessary efforts to master the instrument. Mind you, with Grade 8 certificates candidates can open classes legally to teach students to earn money already. My girl not keen to do that due to lack of interest in the instrument, but did perform at a few big dinner events before for fun and to boost her chance to succeed in DSA. 

So there is difference between those blatant cheat cases and the more genuine cases lah imho. Really not the same.

[Heartlander]

On 9/2/2024 at 2:52 PM, yishunite said:

You make it sound like this is quite a lot of extra work. Doesnt MOE have rules about moonlighting?

The students I described certainly put in quite alot of efforts. My girl practiced 1 to 2hrs EVERYDAY for a few years so it is no fluke for her to succeed in DSA selection exercise. But skills aside, the school should receive credits for providing the rigorous training for the students to ace the DSA interviews also. These students deserve the DSA placements but not true for others. The moonlighting issue I do not want to comment as I am not familiar with the terms of employment of these teachers under MOE. But I do not think MOE would stop these teachers from conducting classes as that would ensure we have a more talented pool of the instrument players in due time. These accomplished players would hold concerts yearly and invite talented students to perform with them, sort of discipleship to pass on the skills.

But for some sports, this would be not so true but not to the blatant case of accepting lump sum upfront for such favours. First time hearing it haha.

[Lala81]

On 9/2/2024 at 2:39 PM, Heartlander said:

You read that article is $40k to $50k per student lah. My girl's case is bothering on abit of grey area like most of DSA situations where students support the teachers on certain events to earn favour which is not so guaranteed. 

Let me shed ore light. For example for certain musical instrument for certain Secondary schools, there would be certain teachers-in-charge who most likely is certain accomplished artists who is well known in the industry and conducting lessons on the side with many students. The primary school CCA teachers are certainly aware of this and would advice their students to take lessons from these teachers for a year or 2, or more. Seems some teachers are picky on who to coach so those not talented or trying to milk the system without putting in efforts would be weeded out at first level. There is certainly prestige associating at being the disciples of these teachers. So in a way these students would have a high chance to succeed in DSA as is since they would have put in many hours of training and excel in the instruments. For example I cannot imagine students not able to secure DSA placement if they can pass Grade 8 assessment for any instruments at P6 since they are of international standard.

In a way this whole system is abit weird as it is difficult to fault the teachers for coaching the students and then bar them from assessing them subsequently for DSA potential quoting conflict of interest. These teachers are talented in the instruments and nothing wrong to have many students in the first place, and definitely not fair to expect them to coach or give lessons for free as they need to earn their keep also. I would think this is the more genuine approach rather than the case now of parents paying $40k for chances without the students putting in the necessary efforts to master the instrument. Mind you, with Grade 8 certificates candidates can open classes legally to teach students to earn money already. My girl not keen to do that due to lack of interest in the instrument, but did perform at a few big dinner events before for fun and to boost her chance to succeed in DSA. 

So there is difference between those blatant cheat cases and the more genuine cases lah imho. Really not the same.

Music and arts teachers are just like any sports coaches. 

There are coaches for those recreational or hobby level. 

Then there are coaches for serious amateur or even up to pro levels. 

Its just a different market. 

If it's not worth their time. They just won't coach the student. High standards also need students to match up. 

 

Lol even CCA in school is the same right. If you Want to be in school team, u train 3 times a week. You want to masak masak like my son, he goes once a week. 

[Spidey10]

On 9/2/2024 at 3:19 PM, Heartlander said:

The students I described certainly put in quite alot of efforts. My girl practiced 1 to 2hrs EVERYDAY for a few years so it is no fluke for her to succeed in DSA selection exercise. But skills aside, the school should receive credits for providing the rigorous training for the students to ace the DSA interviews also. These students deserve the DSA placements but not true for others. The moonlighting issue I do not want to comment as I am not familiar with the terms of employment of these teachers under MOE. But I do not think MOE would stop these teachers from conducting classes as that would ensure we have a more talented pool of the instrument players in due time. These accomplished players would hold concerts yearly and invite talented students to perform with them, sort of discipleship to pass on the skills.

But for some sports, this would be not so true but not to the blatant case of accepting lump sum upfront for such favours. First time hearing it haha.

One of my kids went thru DSA....and is was not easy for parents....coz for us, even before leaving P6, the period from P4-P6 was already very hectic..send for training and training and competition at local and national level...

So DSA started way before P6 for us...

 

[Lala81]

On 9/2/2024 at 3:31 PM, Spidey10 said:

One of my kids went thru DSA....and is was not easy for parents....coz for us, even before leaving P6, the period from P4-P6 was already very hectic..send for training and training and competition at local and national level...

So DSA started way before P6 for us...

 

My friend's son is p3. Trains 4 times a week, not including tournaments. Sundays is usually family time at tournaments.
He started only since p1. 

Parent not even decided about DSA. But just do it to harness the usual young boy's restless energy and competitiveness. 

My nephew also made to play sports and participate in tournaments. 

I mean rather than playing Minecraft, pokemon Go. I'm pretty sure that this DSA "obsession" has some postitive benefits for the mental health of younger kids. Let's face it, otherwise the kids will be at home on their ipad/phones or at enrichment centers etc. 😆

 

[Spidey10]

On 9/2/2024 at 3:54 PM, Lala81 said:

My friend's son is p3. Trains 4 times a week, not including tournaments. Sundays is usually family time at tournaments.
He started only since p1. 

Parent not even decided about DSA. But just do it to harness the usual young boy's restless energy and competitiveness. 

My nephew also made to play sports and participate in tournaments. 

I mean rather than playing Minecraft, pokemon Go. I'm pretty sure that this DSA "obsession" has some postitive benefits for the mental health of younger kids. Let's face it, otherwise the kids will be at home on their ipad/phones or at enrichment centers etc. 😆

 

Indeed....and build character too....son cried a lot when he lost games to girls....i told him, get used to it!! ahhahah...

[Jamesc]

I thought it was a sure thing to get into a school via DSA,” Ms Chong says.

[Lala81]

On 9/2/2024 at 4:22 PM, Jamesc said:

I thought it was a sure thing to get into a school via DSA,” Ms Chong says.

I think she mentioned that she applied to different tiers of schools. So it's like safety net 3rd choice also didn't work out. 

 

[Jamesc]

This article more about how to deal with rejection.

[Jamesc]

On 9/2/2024 at 4:26 PM, Lala81 said:

I think she mentioned that she applied to different tiers of schools. So it's like safety net 3rd choice also didn't work out. 

 

Smart of her to hedge her bets.

I also buy a few numbers for 4D.

I also didn't strike.

The only sure thing in life is death and taxes.