Let's Talk About Mental Health

[DOBIEMKZ]

Another mental case...? ://

35-year-old woman to be charged with murder over death of 8-year-old daughter
Read more at https://www.todayonline.com/singapore/35-year-old-woman-be-charged-murder-over-death-8-year-old-daughter.

https://www.todayonline.com/singapore/35-year-old-woman-be-charged-murder-over-death-8-year-old-daughter

Woman arrested, to be charged with murder after death of 8-year-old daughter in Geylang.

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/woman-arrested-murder-charge-daughter-death-geylang-2103986

[Atonchia]

1 hour ago, DOBIEMKZ said:

Another mental case...? ://

35-year-old woman to be charged with murder over death of 8-year-old daughter
Read more at https://www.todayonline.com/singapore/35-year-old-woman-be-charged-murder-over-death-8-year-old-daughter.

https://www.todayonline.com/singapore/35-year-old-woman-be-charged-murder-over-death-8-year-old-daughter

Woman arrested, to be charged with murder after death of 8-year-old daughter in Geylang.

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/woman-arrested-murder-charge-daughter-death-geylang-2103986

After reading the news you posted..... 

 

Below pop up.....

Not sure if considered mental health or just violent tendency. 

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/man-jailed-biting-choking-tying-son-wife-stab-2103906

[therock]

12 minutes ago, Atonchia said:

After reading the news you posted..... 

 

Below pop up.....

Not sure if considered mental health or just violent tendency. 

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/man-jailed-biting-choking-tying-son-wife-stab-2103906

I think the father isn't coping well with having a mentally deficient child... it's not easy... even if what he did is wrong, it's a hard road.. give thanks for all our healthy kids..

[Yewheng]

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=366865538441586&id=100053544271577

 

I think many are letting children to have social media account right? Think this one need to monitor closely..

[Atonchia]

28 minutes ago, therock said:

I think the father isn't coping well with having a mentally deficient child... it's not easy... even if what he did is wrong, it's a hard road.. give thanks for all our healthy kids..

Think the wife also on breaking point. 

[Atonchia]

14 minutes ago, Yewheng said:

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=366865538441586&id=100053544271577

 

I think many are letting children to have social media account right? Think this one need to monitor closely..

Agree on this.... 

During our student days... 

The girls do it by their best friends network...... except the social network can be limited physically in real persons.... 

Current period is really an acquaintance can be added a friend or follower etc.... The reach is way bigger. 

[therock]

Coping mechanisms:

Denial. This involves a person not recognizing the reality of a stressful situation in order to protect themselves from overwhelming fear or anxiety. ...

Distortion. ...

Projection. ...

Dissociation. ...

Repression. ...

Reaction formation. ...

Displacement. ...

Intellectualization.

[Jamesc]

Its so easy to get depressed now during Covid when people have so much stress and anxieties and worries.

Depression is the depletion of our mental energy so that we lose our sense of perspective and even the smallest issues looks like the biggest problems so that its looks so big we just don't have the strength to deal with it.

Its like the light at the end of the tunnel, the bright light becomes smaller and smaller and dimmer and dimmer and you think I cannot get out of the tunnel and its just too far away and the light fades to darkness.

Luckily there is a tried and proven technique and its not by me on how to deal with this and its very simple when you know how.

Stretch out your arm and hold up a glass of water. The water isn't very heavy and you can hold it up for 1 minute, 2 minutes even 5 minutes but to hold it up for 10 or 20 minutes and its becomes the heaviest thing in the world and your arm feels like falling off.

But put the glass down on the table and give yourself a break, 30 minutes to relax, recharge, re-energise yourself and then you can pick up the glass again. Its not so heavy anymore again.

[kobayashiGT]

 

[Ash2017]

Dedicated to Jamesc

 

The CIA was hiring and over 100 applicants showed up hoping to get the job. They whittled the group down to the top three and the agent in charge called them into an interview room. The agent conducting the interview reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a hand gun. He told the three men, “We are going to test your ability to handle stress and follow directions.”

He pointed to the youngest of the applicants and said, “I want you to take this gun, and go into the first room. Your newlywed wife is in there. I want you to shoot her dead.”

The young man slowly took the gun, walked over and opened the door and was shocked to see that his wife was actually in the adjoining room wondering what this was all about. He handed the gun back to the agent and said he just couldn’t do it as he left.

The agent offered the gun to the next applicant. He said, “You’ve been married for about 10 years and we now have your wife in the room behind the second door. As he handed him the gun he said, “Kill her and you are hired.”

The man opened the door and saw his wife was indeed waiting in the second room. The applicant hesitated as he looked at her, then the gun, then her, and finally he handed the gun back to the agent and walked out.

The remaining applicant reached for the gun right away and asked, “Same thing for me?” The agent said, “You’ve been married a long time. Are you sure you want to do this?” The man didn’t hesitate. He walked through the third door and slammed it behind him. The agent heard an immediate “blam, blam, blam, blam, blam.” That was followed by yelling and screaming with obvious sounds of a desperate struggle and furniture getting smashed in the process.

The agent raced to open the door, but it swung open just as he reached for the handle. The older applicant was standing there with his clothes bloody and shredded, he was breathing hard and looking angry. The agent was not expecting any of this at all and exclaimed, “What happened in there?”

The applicant said, “You son of a bitch; the gun was loaded with blanks, I had to choke the living shit out of her!?

 

[therock]

I was all choked up when I read it... 

[Jamesc]

Because of Covid now so many people are feeling stress and anxiety and worries.

All this mental suffering is so unnecessary and not very helpful but people suffer and not know how to alleviate the suffering.

All these problems come from the conflict between “the I” and “the ME”. To stop the problems we need to close the gap between the I and the ME.

Firstly what is the difference between the I and the ME?

The simplest way I know how to explain is to tell real life stories I heard from many young ladies and now not so young ladies. These are their real life experience and not made up stories.

Imagine a young lady at Chinese New Year with a bunch of kay poh Aunties. The aunties say Pretty girl like you got boyfriend or not? Got boyfriend or not?

Now the young lady is thinking – I am perfectly happy as I am, doing my own thing, I never even thought about a boyfriend why these kay poh aunties suggesting lah, hinting lah, recommending ME lah to have a boyfriend?

Next year CNY again the Aunties ask again – Pretty girl ah got boyfriend or not? As a matter of fact this young lady say to the aunties – last year I met a very nice young man and we are going steady now. So the kay poh aunties say – since he is a nice young man and you have been going steady for a while you ever thought, you ever thought and the aunties point to the left hand fourth finger.

The young lady thinks – I am happy as I am, I just have a new bf why the kay poh aunties suggesting lah, hinting lah, recommending ME lah to so fast get married?

Next year CNY again the kay poh aunties ask - you ever thought, you ever thought and the aunties point to the left hand fourth finger. So this young lady says – we have thought about it and we have decided to take our relationship to the next level and we will ROM this year and you are all invited and please bring big big ang pows.

Next year CNY again the kay poh aunties ask - you ever thought, you ever thought and the aunties point to their bellies and make the pregnant sign.

The young lady thinks – I am happy as I am, I just got married why the kay poh aunties suggesting lah, hinting lah, recommending ME lah to get a baby so fast?

A few years down the road and this young lady is blessed with a baby and its CNY again and the kay poh aunties ask - you ever thought, you ever thought of another - pointing to their bellies and make the pregnant sign - a younger brother or sister so your first one have someone to play with?

The young lady thinks – I am happy as I am, I just had a baby after 9 long months why the kay poh aunties suggesting lah, hinting lah, recommending ME lah to get another baby so fast?

The ME of the young lady has all these expectations lah, suggestions lah, hints lah from the kay poh aunties to do certain things and be the person that follows their expectations.

If the young lady lets “her I” feel the stress, anxiety and worries about living up to the expectation of the kay poh aunties then there is conflict between her I and her ME.

But there is no conflict if the young lady says – heck care the aunties lah! “I” am not going to bother to live up to their expectations of “ME”!

What do these kay poh aunties know? They are always complaining their husband don't give them any attention, prefer to going drinking with their friends instead of listening to the nagging and even their own kids don't listen to them and cannot stand them.

Why should she listen to them and let them stress HER out and fill HER with anxieties and worries. So SHE is not going to let that happen to HER!

The ME in all of us have so many expectations as fathers, brothers, sons, as employees, as providers etc etc and if the I don't let the ME get stressed out then we can never get stressed out. 

As an employee my boss has an unrealistic expectation of ME – to increase sales now during Covid when no one is buying.

I am not going to let the unrealistic expectations of ME stress ME out or fill ME with worries and anxieties.

If people can see the difference between the I and the ME its a fantastic start.

Its a start so that next time we can see the ME exist and the I does not exist and so there can never be a conflict between the I and the ME as the I does not exist so how to conflict with anything?

Anyway that's for another day and another time.

Edited August 11, 2021 by Jamesc

[Jamesc]

Love the story!

 

1 hour ago, Ash2017 said:

Dedicated to Jamesc

 

The CIA was hiring and over 100 applicants showed up hoping to get the job. They whittled the group down to the top three and the agent in charge called them into an interview room. The agent conducting the interview reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a hand gun. He told the three men, “We are going to test your ability to handle stress and follow directions.”

He pointed to the youngest of the applicants and said, “I want you to take this gun, and go into the first room. Your newlywed wife is in there. I want you to shoot her dead.”

The young man slowly took the gun, walked over and opened the door and was shocked to see that his wife was actually in the adjoining room wondering what this was all about. He handed the gun back to the agent and said he just couldn’t do it as he left.

The agent offered the gun to the next applicant. He said, “You’ve been married for about 10 years and we now have your wife in the room behind the second door. As he handed him the gun he said, “Kill her and you are hired.”

The man opened the door and saw his wife was indeed waiting in the second room. The applicant hesitated as he looked at her, then the gun, then her, and finally he handed the gun back to the agent and walked out.

The remaining applicant reached for the gun right away and asked, “Same thing for me?” The agent said, “You’ve been married a long time. Are you sure you want to do this?” The man didn’t hesitate. He walked through the third door and slammed it behind him. The agent heard an immediate “blam, blam, blam, blam, blam.” That was followed by yelling and screaming with obvious sounds of a desperate struggle and furniture getting smashed in the process.

The agent raced to open the door, but it swung open just as he reached for the handle. The older applicant was standing there with his clothes bloody and shredded, he was breathing hard and looking angry. The agent was not expecting any of this at all and exclaimed, “What happened in there?”

The applicant said, “You son of a bitch; the gun was loaded with blanks, I had to choke the living shit out of her!?

[Jamesc]

Now during Covid so many people suffering stress, anxiety, fear, worry, depression and sadly all this suffering is so unnecessary not helpful at all.

All these mental suffering stems from the I and ME relationship.

We are very lucky because English has both I and ME. Some other languages I and ME is the same so they don't have I and ME.

Why is I and ME so important and its relationship to all these mental suffering?

The easiest way to explain is when we say – someone kicked ME.

We never say someone kicked I. It doesn't sound right because its not!

We say someone kicked ME because ME got kicked, ME has a leg that got kicked and ME felt the pain when ME got kicked in the leg.

This is where the I and the ME are different.

At night before I sleep I think back about this after when ME got kicked and I relive the kick and the pain and I feel bad about it.

So ME got kicked once in the afternoon but I felt the pain twice because I got kicked twice. Once in the afternoon and once in the mind before I went to sleep.

The next night I relived the pain and kick again so I now got kicked and felt the pain 3 times but ME only got kicked once and felt the pain once!

So imagine for 10 nights straight I replayed the kicking incident in my mind so I got kicked 11 times (10 at night and once in the afternoon) but ME only got kicked once.

Isn't that so unfair?

So now how do I stopped I getting kicked every night?

Simple just know that ME exist but I do not exist. ME exist because ME was born, ME will grow old, ME will get sick and ME will die.

But I do not exist as I was never born and I can never grow old and I can never die. If I was never born how to die or get sick or grow old?

Why I keep saying I do not exist and I was never born?

Simple because ME has a brain and the brain in the process of thinking creates the I because of pattern recognition and understanding relationships.

Our ancestors - early man needed pattern recognition and understanding relationship in order to stay alive and survive.

Early man that saw a tiger in the long grass that couldn't do pattern recognition would stand there and the tiger will jump on them and eat them.

Our ancestor survived because they can do pattern recognition and can see the tiger in the long grass. Early man that didn't understand relationships might see the tiger because they can do pattern recognition and because they don't understand relationships just stand there when the tiger jumped on them and eats them.

Our ancestors good at pattern recognition and understood relationship ran away and had many descendants that lead to us being around!

But over the course of thousands of years our ancestors developed the pattern recognition and relationship so well that today its so well horned that we see patterns when there no patterns and see relationship when there are no relationships.

People can “see” the virgin mary in a grilled sandwich.

We “see” triangles when they don't exist.

My parents gave me the name James. I did not give I the name James.

When I was small (this is the same for all of us, it relates equally to everyone, I am just using myself as an example for illustration) my parents will say James James and look at me!

My little brain does its pattern recognition bit and hears the sound James James and recognise it and my brain does the relationship bit and sees my parents looking at me.

So when I went to school on the first day and the teach ask me who am I? I said James because my brain in the process of thinking created the I as James and no one has ever questioned do I actually exist? Since the brain created the I because of the process of pattern recognition and relationship then when the brain stops processing then there is no more I.

To explain this in a simpler way – imagine after 10 nights and I got kicked 11 times the next day a flower pot fell on my head and knocked me out.

When I wake up the doctor say I am very lucky to be alive but I lost some brain tissue – the bit of the brain with the short term memory – the bit that stored the memory of being kicked.

So I can remember everything except the memory of being kicked. So now I really cannot remember being kicked at all! I even like the guy that kicked me because I don't know that he kicked me because I cannot remember it!

So ME got kicked once but now as far as I am concerned I never got kicked at all.

This is only possible because the I doesn't exist. The I is just a creation of the thinking brain. One day no more brain, no more thinking no more I.

The ME never suffers and only the I can suffer so if there is really no I then there can really be no suffering at all.

The mental suffering is created by the I.

Maybe easier to understand with a real life example. My neighbour always slams the door. The hearing of the sound is done by ME but the ME hears all sounds as neutral neither good or bad – its just a sound.

The I interprets the sound as something unpleasant and this causes the I to “feel” unhappy and angry.

I live near Paya Lebar air base and the jets fly really low over my home with the roaring sound but I love the sound and never “feel” unhappy and angry. I love the sound so much that I would run to the window to try to see the jets.

The ME hears the sound of the jets and the I interprets it as fun and interesting. The sound is neutral and I can well imagine people hearing the sound of jets screaming and not being happy about it!

But if another flower pot falls on my head and I cannot remember that the I like the sound of jets and hate the sound of door slamming then I won't be happy or angry.

Stress, anxiety, fear, worry, depression are just creations of the I. The same I that does not exist.

 

[Sosaria]

On 8/10/2021 at 9:44 PM, therock said:

I think the father isn't coping well with having a mentally deficient child... it's not easy... even if what he did is wrong, it's a hard road.. give thanks for all our healthy kids..

Sometimes it's a developmental delay (as the article says it) caused by poor or negligent upbringing as well. Every child born is a blank slate. It's the parents who expose them to learn new things. If the parents every day demonstrate violent tendency or neglect to teach the kid anything, of course will turn out like that.

[kobayashiGT]

https://parade.com/1247081/marynliles/dalai-lama-quotes/

 

 

[Jamesc]

I took off my clothes but the girl just ran away!

Why she never take her clothes off too?

On 8/16/2021 at 4:46 PM, kobayashiGT said:

https://parade.com/1247081/marynliles/dalai-lama-quotes/

 

 

 

[Jamesc]

If people are feeling mental stress

just clean a toilet.

It will put everything into perspective.