parents do u still insist on kids having a wedding banquet when they get married?

[Kklee]

Just now, Lala81 said:

yup. one of the main criteria where i chose my wedding. And also it's a heritage hotel. So at least it will still be around when my kids are older.
Haha can show them where lao peh and lao bu got married.

Well planned ! 

[Throttle2]

47 minutes ago, Voodooman said:

I had a 60 tables dinner, originally it was 100 but we compromised. 

He has many friends (my dad talks to everyone) and my great grandfather had 8 children and they were all very prolific.  My maternal side is not far behind, so.... You can understand i don't know most of them but my dad does.

For my kids, I agree it will be people they know. It will be their wedding, not mine.

Wow huge event.....sometimes boh pian.  At least you married who you wanted to.....heheh

[Mockngbrd]

If my parents want banquet, then they foot the $$$ lo. Simpur. 

 

 

Same thing IF I even have kids and they want banquet, they ownself pay $$$, I will not insist on it. If kids turn out gay, also nothing wrong. They happy and never hurt other ppl can liao. 

 

Edited October 23, 2020 by Mockngbrd

[Throttle2]

25 minutes ago, Wind30 said:

I think the difference is do you "insist" on the dinner if you children don't want?

I think most people our age wants to have a wedding dinner, me included. To me, a wedding dinner especially for my daughter is more important. It is like handing over my daughter to another man...

However, will I insist on it?? No. I would tell her I hope she will hold one...

 

 

No i dont insist as mentioned earlier.   Its for them to decide, i will just share my views as usual.  Wedding is not for me, i had mine already 😄

[Jusnel]

To start a marriage with a mountain of debt is the one way ticket to divorce. 

So this statement shld be the fundamental for couples to keep in mind for a wedding

[Playtime]

2 hours ago, 13177 said:

This generation kids dont know where they get the money from, all have their wedding banquet at those atas hotel de. No more at budget hotel or restaurant liao.  

i do know of people who got into debt because of wedding dinner.... not a smart thing to do imo.

[Lala81]

12 minutes ago, Playtime said:

i do know of people who got into debt because of wedding dinner.... not a smart thing to do imo.

maybe i can wear my wedding suit for my kids wedding in future. Cos i don't see myself making another suit HAHA 

[serenade]

For myself, there was no banquet. A good church lunch for friends, and a dinner for immediate family and very close relatives. Reason was to save cost as I had just started work after self-funding my studies overseas. There was little cash to hold a banquet. The cost was fully borne by myself and wife-to be. I knew my mother was disappointed, but kept it to herself. 

I made it up to my mother 30 years later when my daughter got married. I gave her free reign to invite her friends and relatives. And how she wanted the wedding to be run (within limits).  Her first grandchild's wedding reception. As tables were limited by the venue, I kept just 2 tables from bride's allocation for my own friends. Knowing that the elderly relatives and friends will not give ang pow to cover the table costs, I under wrote all the relative tables. My mother I am glad to say, was very happy and proud to finally be able to host her friends at a large wedding. 

My mother passed on unexpectedly soon after. So did many of her invited guests. I am glad to say that I fulfilled one of her last wishes, and gave her a happy memory to take to her death bed.

As for my own friends, we make it a point stay connected. No need to invite each other to children's weddings. Leave the wedding dinner tables for the very old and the couple's friends to make their occasion joyous. 

A wedding banquet is not just about face and pride. It is a chance to reconnect with long lost touch relatives under a happy occasion. How often have we met relatives only at weddings and funerals? At a funeral, it is too late. 

A suggestion. If your child object's to a banquet, host a dinner after the actual wedding where you invite your close friends and relatives.  Call it  "introducing the couple". Less formal, less costly, and you can hold centre stage.  The couple need not do anything except to show up and be introduced in a less stressed occasion.     

[Jellandross]

19 minutes ago, Lala81 said:

yup. one of the main criteria where i chose my wedding. And also it's a heritage hotel. So at least it will still be around when my kids are older.
Haha can show them where lao peh and lao bu got married.

Me too. I'm glad we chose a heritage venue for our small intimate wedding luncheon of 10+ tables. We can now bring the kid there and he'll go "sure or not daddy.. got smoke me or not?!!". I still remember got time thereafter to go out and catch a movie LOL

[Lala81]

3 minutes ago, serenade said:

A suggestion. If your child object's to a banquet, host a dinner after the actual wedding where you invite your close friends and relatives.  Call it  "introducing the couple". Less formal, less costly, and you can hold centre stage.  The couple need not do anything except to show up and be introduced in a less stressed occasion.     

wah this one good idea.

[Mustank]

2 hours ago, Lala81 said:

wah free rider?

Haha that’s everyone dream 

money for nothing and chicks for free

I also want to be 韦小宝

Edited October 23, 2020 by Mustank

[noobcarbuyer]

13 minutes ago, Jusnel said:

To start a marriage with a mountain of debt is the one way ticket to divorce. 

So this statement shld be the fundamental for couples to keep in mind for a wedding

I have seen enough examples to last a lifetime. 

But specific to the last decade.

Apart from lavish weddings,

Executive Condos / Condos are the biggest trap for newly weds.

Instagram worthy renovations (and renovation loans) are also another culprit. 

The greatest stress point are always the finances in first few years of marriage especially once the baby factor comes into play.

[Karoon]

Can be a banquet, or a gathering or whatever it's called. We're Asians. Wedding is not about just the couple but a union of families. Has to be celebrated even if a simple one with close friends and relatives.

[noobcarbuyer]

7 minutes ago, serenade said:

For myself, there was no banquet. A good church lunch for friends, and a dinner for immediate family and very close relatives. Reason was to save cost as I had just started work after self-funding my studies overseas. There was little cash to hold a banquet. The cost was fully borne by myself and wife-to be. I knew my mother was disappointed, but kept it to herself. 

 I made it up to my mother 30 years later when my daughter got married. I gave her free reign to invite her friends and relatives. And how she wanted the wedding to be run (within limits).  Her first grandchild's wedding reception. As tables were limited by the venue, I kept just 2 tables from bride's allocation for my own friends. Knowing that the elderly relatives and friends will not give ang pow to cover the table costs, I under wrote all the relative tables. My mother I am glad to say, was very happy and proud to finally be able to host her friends at a large wedding. 

 My mother passed on unexpectedly soon after. So did many of her invited guests. I am glad to say that I fulfilled one of her last wishes, and gave her a happy memory to take to her death bed.

 As for my own friends, we make it a point stay connected. No need to invite each other to children's weddings. Leave the wedding dinner tables for the very old and the couple's friends to make their occasion joyous. 

A wedding banquet is not just about face and pride. It is a chance to reconnect with long lost touch relatives under a happy occasion. How often have we met relatives only at weddings and funerals? At a funeral, it is too late. 

A suggestion. If your child object's to a banquet, host a dinner after the actual wedding where you invite your close friends and relatives.  Call it  "introducing the couple". Less formal, less costly, and you can hold centre stage.  The couple need not do anything except to show up and be introduced in a less stressed occasion.     

I like the family / friend dinner to introduce the wedding couple concept. 

Less formal and stressful. More catching up and celebrating the union. 

Had attended one such luncheon before in the UK. But the husband is Scottish and the wife is local S'porean. Whole day event. Very relaxed and informal. Talked to guests from all over the world. Ended off dancing with my wife into the evening once the onsite DJ started up.

I think the westerners may be onto something. LOL.

[Lala81]

11 minutes ago, noobcarbuyer said:

I like the family / friend dinner to introduce the wedding couple concept. 

Less formal and stressful. More catching up and celebrating the union. 

Had attended one such luncheon before in the UK. But the husband is Scottish and the wife is local S'porean. Whole day event. Very relaxed and informal. Talked to guests from all over the world. Ended off dancing with my wife into the evening once the onsite DJ started up.

I think the westerners may be onto something. LOL.

westerners also very fast to pai pai pigu and divorce one.  

Actually ok one lah. My wedding was around 18 tables? Should be 19 but some people didn't turn up cos i didn't want to send a reminder. I probably ate just the leng pan and the soup only. But i made sure i went to every table and talk to everyone who was invited, rather than only for the photo taking or at the end. Wife have to do the dress/gown change so not so free.

For an introvert like myself, hah probably once a life time.

if like 30-40 tables, then very hard bah. over that 2 hr period.

Edited October 23, 2020 by Lala81

[Throttle2]

34 minutes ago, Jusnel said:

To start a marriage with a mountain of debt is the one way ticket to divorce. 

So this statement shld be the fundamental for couples to keep in mind for a wedding

You are right, Absolutely. Thats for sure.  Why get into debt for marriage.  Have a cheap reception , all happy can already.

why must action, act tough slap face swollen to look fat leh?  

It applies not just to weddings, car also, house also, watch also..  everything also....

 

[Roh96]

I had about 60 tables for my wedding and we did it at a country club ballroom. We knew we can't avoid bcos I am the eldest son and my wife is the eldest daughter.

Is it worth the trouble? Absolutely.

Till today (18 yrs later) my in-laws and my parents still will occasionally talk about it. The fond memories is indeed lasting. Looking back, i am happy for our decision to kuai kuai follow their wish.

Will i insist my children to have wedding banquet when it come to their turn? Now is simi generation liao still insist on wedding banquet. Have to see open (kan kai)...let the next gen decide for themselves.

 

 

 

[Throttle2]

39 minutes ago, Lala81 said:

maybe i can wear my wedding suit for my kids wedding in future. Cos i don't see myself making another suit HAHA 

If you remain slim.

i added 20kgs , cannot liao