Lying ex-wife to be and custody

[Beehive3783]

If this part is true, then she has a serious problem that needs to be addressed.

 

But instead of addressing it, you are choosing to run away, and are trying to take away the next most important thing to her which is her son.

 

So I think you need to man up and think of ways that will help your wife. A divorce will not help at all.

 

And in the first place, if she had such a fiery temper that you can't stand, why did you marry her?

 

I am not sure can you still living under same roof with your partner that took a knife at you and show you a stabbing gesture. I can't and I have to get out. 

I will fight the custody till high court if I have to. a sole custody win will be great, otherwise I have to walk out for the sake of my health. And i already branded selfish by couple close friend of mine. She will use my son to get attention from me which is very unfair to my boy to have to subject for I know what kind of abuse to my boy? Come at me but not my son. 

Tried and failed. 

 

And yes I am very worry if she lost the custody, she may take her own life and perhaps with my son together. She threaten to end her life before but I managed to pull her back. Her way of process words is scary and I am scare.  

Just completed the PPO, going to present whatever evidence I have to court. waiting for date.

 

[RadX]

Being a car forum I can misconstrue it as is

 

Lying ex wife - unscrupulous PI or AD salesman cheating TS

 

Child - maybe car left in custody of the above and TS wants it back

 

 

 

And as the rest have said, takes 2 hands to clap and sounds like either a fictitious story to work on emotions or a scam to get crowdfunded

 

My thoughts only

[pinto22sg]

To TS, I admire your love for your child and wanting to have his custody to bring him up. However , the crux of the matter is why is your wife behaving violently towards you. Is it that she is mentally unstable , or is she harbouring hatred towards you only as she has an axe to grind. If it is the former, then you have a case. But if it is the later, then you won't have any case at all. The court will surely ask to find out what is the cause of her behaviour, to decide whether who is better suited to care for the child, not to mention the mother will always be the default custodian. I strongly suspect in your case, your wife's hatred and hostile behaviour towards you, is due to something on your part which you have not revealed, and is crucial.

Edited August 14, 2019 by pinto22sg

[AFV_V200]

If this part is true, then she has a serious problem that needs to be addressed.

 

But instead of addressing it, you are choosing to run away, and are trying to take away the next most important thing to her which is her son.

 

So I think you need to man up and think of ways that will help your wife. A divorce will not help at all.

 

And in the first place, if she had such a fiery temper that you can't stand, why did you marry her?

A lair can not keep on lying. and recollect all lies and able to string them up nicely like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 

 

I tried talk to her before like I mentioned. she simply denied she ever took a knife at me, and I am unable to man up in front of her. Yes I am deem useless from my close friend as I dare not man up in front of her. For a simple reason, I have a baby boy in between us and we were living under same roof back then. Now she had left, I began to man up but that provoked her to another level. I have to stop or my baby boy... 

[Jman888]

too late to give any advice about marriage cos they already divorced. 

 

TS should be talking to a counselor instead of a lawyer, that also give your wife have some breathing space unless you are trying to make her kill herself and your kid.

 

Stay away for a few months or even a year to monitor, the judgement was made and custody been given to your wife, to fight the case now won't change anything.

[RogerNg_185295]

A lair can not keep on lying. and recollect all lies and able to string them up nicely like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

 

I tried talk to her before like I mentioned. she simply denied she ever took a knife at me, and I am unable to man up in front of her. Yes I am deem useless from my close friend as I dare not man up in front of her. For a simple reason, I have a baby boy in between us and we were living under same roof back then. Now she had left, I began to man up but that provoked her to another level. I have to stop or my baby boy...

Please see a counsellor asap.

[AFV_V200]

To TS, I admire your love for your child and wanting to have his custody to bring him up. However , the crux of the matter is why is your wife behaving violently towards you. Is it that she is mentally unstable , or is she harbouring hatred towards you only as she has an axe to grind. If it is the former, then you have a case. But if it is the later, then you won't have any case at all. The court will surely ask to find out what is the cause of her behaviour, to decide whether who is better suited to care for the child, not to mention the mother will always be the default custodian. I strongly suspect in your case, your wife's hatred and hostile behaviour towards you, is due to something on your part which you have not revealed, and is crucial.

I dare not ask her to go IMH for assessment, she will scream through the roof and spite me with my son. No way. Or is there any other way beside IMH? All I can say, I reveal to my family and some close friends. Every single one said she is mentally challenge with knife stabbing gesture.

 

Let me reveal some of my so call fault from my side. I simply do not want my wife to worry or know about my financial burden if I have any. I told her the family will have bread on table every day. I willing to give more as long she does not demand or threaten me. I know it takes 2 hands to clap and perhaps I did not reveal much and that’s why she not happy? I can get by comfortably when only 2 of us. When the boy came, I sold the car and use the money wisely for a family of 3. I did not even ask about her financial status when we tie the knot. I had a fail business in the process of wind up when I court her.

 

When we were just an item. My family warned me and said “What? She does not want to work and expect you to foot everything? Stay home do what? I got pain here and there and still working, she has able body and not want to work? You better think twice with her.” I still went ahead with her.

 

An old Chinese said “kind man will die under the hand of a woman”, I am not far from there now.

[AFV_V200]

too late to give any advice about marriage cos they already divorced. 

 

TS should be talking to a counselor instead of a lawyer, that also give your wife have some breathing space unless you are trying to make her kill herself and your kid.

 

Stay away for a few months or even a year to monitor, the judgement was made and custody been given to your wife, to fight the case now won't change anything.

 

Not officially divorce yet, waiting for court approval to divorce as is less than 3 years. I will proceed with custody fight once I have enough fund on my part. Whatever I had went into the divorce proceeding now. 

 

I am trying to stay away as long but my heart bleed when I cant see my son. He will not recognize me once we part too long. 

 

No court order who on custody yet as we still considerate husband and wife and with share custody of my baby.

[Dxyong]

If you have the guts to end your life just like that then you should take the risk and stay with your wife again....worst case scenario you will be ended up in the same place.......In honest speaking.....if you care about your child then you have to make compromise....since you said you can do anything for him....then just get them back to the house and try to work it out......even if you sleep in separated room.....at the very least you still have the chance to get close to you kid....this is what I will do if I am in your shoe 

[Sx4falcon]

I dare not ask her to go IMH for assessment, she will scream through the roof and spite me with my son. No way. Or is there any other way beside IMH? All I can say, I reveal to my family and some close friends. Every single one said she is mentally challenge with knife stabbing gesture.

 

Let me reveal some of my so call fault from my side. I simply do not want my wife to worry or know about my financial burden if I have any. I told her the family will have bread on table every day. I willing to give more as long she does not demand or threaten me. I know it takes 2 hands to clap and perhaps I did not reveal much and that’s why she not happy? I can get by comfortably when only 2 of us. When the boy came, I sold the car and use the money wisely for a family of 3. I did not even ask about her financial status when we tie the knot. I had a fail business in the process of wind up when I court her.

 

When we were just an item. My family warned me and said “What? She does not want to work and expect you to foot everything? Stay home do what? I got pain here and there and still working, she has able body and not want to work? You better think twice with her.” I still went ahead with her.

 

An old Chinese said “kind man will die under the hand of a woman”, I am not far from there now.

 

You sounded like a saint. All the faults are hers.

 

Please stop explaining and stop using your love for your son as an excuse. 

 

If you really think she is mentally unstable, please get the court to order her to go for IMH assessment. The court will not grant custody to her if she is proven mentally unstable.

[BanCoe]

What do your parents say ?? And in Laws ?? What is their stance , proactive ??

[Soya]

Ok I tink I prefer SiLangkia's emo thread.

 

No mental problem stories there. Juz no happy endings for him...

[RogerNg_185295]

You sounded like a saint. All the faults are hers.

 

Please stop explaining and stop using your love for your son as an excuse.

 

If you really think she is mentally unstable, please get the court to order her to go for IMH assessment. The court will not grant custody to her if she is proven mentally unstable.

It's a one sided story and he can spin it whatever ways he likes. Doubt the majority will donate to him.

[Ash2017]

Let us give you the benefit of doubt.

 

I hear alot from you and it seems to me you are verbalizing all the "pains" you have gone through to justify your actions and perhaps even to re-inforce why you must go through the "fight" be it custody or etc.

 

It seems you are going through an emotional roller coaster and you are hoping for one "true success" or "score" to prove something.

 

Yes, it is very painful knowing that people lie but sometimes they may be NOT exactly lying because it all about perspective. I say you are handsome but down right you know you are the ulgiest thing that God has ever made. I lied to protect your feelings. Is this lie a good or bad thing? In a relationship, however, sometimes, people lie because they cannot accept what is happening. Sometimes people lie to protect everyone. Give you another example: you may want the divorce so badly but your wife or ex-wife may not want. Because she still loves you and know that is what you so badly, she lied you make you not only dislike her but hate her so that your resolute to divorce is firm up. This is a true story from a couple many years ago. It was after a span of more than 15 or 20 years later, the husband learn the truth, then it was just too late, he visited her to apologize and kneeing asking for forgiveness every year, it was at her grave. 

 

If you have already made up your mind about the divorce, why keep re-televised your unhappy experience with your wife or ex-wife over and over again in your head. 

 

Marriage is your choice and should have nothing to do with your relatives. You know exactly what I meant as they were not instrument in producing your son. So don't go blaming or using them to justify your action.

 

Ask yourself your actions? You said it was because of your presence and to spite you, she harm the baby. Now that you are no longer in her presence what the provocation is lost. So no need for you to worry.

 

You are "playing up" your own worries for your son to justify the need to get hold of custody of your son. You must be truthful too that in no small part is "revenge" to get even. You gave the example of hot water without testing before giving to your son. Well you know she is a first time mother right. There are worst moms around despite their great love for their child. These things can be thought. 

 

You have to realized bringing up a child is a join effort. Not everything must go by your way or her way because the child has only 50% of each of your genes. So sometimes you have to close one eye on occasion you need to close two eyes and pretend you cannot see.

 

You have to stop torturing yourself and trying to brainwash yourself that your wife or ex-wife is a hopeless mother. You know being a mother is an on the job training. Furthermore if there is anything untowards it would have picked up by the social workers or other professional bodies including the judge. So rest assured she "had been screened". Don't take these professional to be dumb because they general can see through lies.

 

To the judge, what difference is there if you lie or she lie when the lies are there to help secure a definite divorce. Regardless you still need to pay maintenance that is the law until she becomes gainfully employed or married of or you become a complete bankrupt without income. 

 

How it finally end between the three of you, remember you are one but of the three, and you are one of the three capable of ending this well or ending with multi-scaring on everyone. The choice is yours.

 

A friendly advice, a stable and good ending is best for your case when there is a child involved. Otherwise you are making your own live miserable and your child may turn out to hate the two of you and not just one of you. Each of you poisoning each other to him will turn him into a social misfit thinking that relationships are all f-uped. Don't believe go ask your lawyer, social worker or even the judge. 

 

I think I wrote enough and this is not the place to seek advice, you need the wisdom and maturity to move forward. Easier said than done BUT if you don't put in effort to try, you are likely to screw up the same person you are trying to protect.

 

 

 

I dare not ask her to go IMH for assessment, she will scream through the roof and spite me with my son. No way. Or is there any other way beside IMH? All I can say, I reveal to my family and some close friends. Every single one said she is mentally challenge with knife stabbing gesture.

 

Let me reveal some of my so call fault from my side. I simply do not want my wife to worry or know about my financial burden if I have any. I told her the family will have bread on table every day. I willing to give more as long she does not demand or threaten me. I know it takes 2 hands to clap and perhaps I did not reveal much and that’s why she not happy? I can get by comfortably when only 2 of us. When the boy came, I sold the car and use the money wisely for a family of 3. I did not even ask about her financial status when we tie the knot. I had a fail business in the process of wind up when I court her.

 

When we were just an item. My family warned me and said “What? She does not want to work and expect you to foot everything? Stay home do what? I got pain here and there and still working, she has able body and not want to work? You better think twice with her.” I still went ahead with her.

 

An old Chinese said “kind man will die under the hand of a woman”, I am not far from there now.

 

[Freeder]

1. Divorce full lawyer fee paid and waiting for court to approve the divorce. And that was all I had and next is custody and it will take me at least 3 years to save up the amount needed. I have huge housing loan and renovation loan to serving till 2023, before I can save up more. If I wait to save up more, my case will drag for at least 5-6 years. I will miss all my boy growing path. :(

 

2. I am not trying to get even, I only state facts in my statement to court but she began to fabricating false incidents. 

 

3. If I win the custody. All is good and I have purpose to live for my son, and I more willing to let her access the boy more than what the court will allow under supervision. The way she behave I know she will intoxicating my boy when he grow if she wins custody. I will intoxicate my son, I will tell him what happen when he grow up and let him decide. I believe action speaks louder than words.

 

4. Had a talk with her with a counselor. She told me she does not want to divorce but I told her no, my trust in her was completely destroyed. I do not want to live in fear for my boy and my safety. We all know what a father/mother can do to their kids in some headline news before. I do not want even test the water or it will be too late.

 

5. Suffering is not over yet and I will suffering at least another 2-3 years in this sticky situation as she said she will contest the divorce.

 

6. I want to do it the best of everyone. I just unable to handle a wife keeps on lying and framed me. On the other hand, I never fabricate anything and only facts. I still want to believe honesty is the way to go, although 1 lawyer I spoke with told me too honest will kill myself in court. I still want to stick to my honesty.

 

7. She moved out since Apr with my boy. Still no idea where she lives as the police said unable to reveal her address.

 

8. I only want to pay what my boy needs. I don't want to pay to a woman keep on lying but I know she will still get something. 

No cheating from her. Is just I have been suffering verbal and physical abuse from her. And I never pay a finger on her, let alone I don't even dare to confront her.

 

I did not pass the mean test for probono lawyer.

 

Why dun you install some hidden cams ?

Hopefully , this will provide evidence of her so called emotional cum physical abuse..

[Tianmo]

Sorry TS, I saw this topic but since I am of no help, I decided to stay away. 

 

However, unintentionally as I was searching for some other news I am interested in, I came across this pcs of news. I am not a fan of theindependent.sg,  but I thought I would still highlight it here anyway. 

 

sound familiar guys?     

 

http://theindependent.sg/gentle-vietnamese-woman-physically-abuses-and-cuckolds-singaporean-husband-after-marriage/

 

 

Edited August 14, 2019 by Tianmo

[Staff69]

Sorry TS, I saw this topic but since I am of no help, I decided to stay away.

 

However, unintentionally as I was searching for some other news I am interested in, I came across this pcs of news. I am not a fan of theindependent.sg, but I thought I would still highlight it here anyway.

 

sound familiar guys?

 

http://theindependent.sg/gentle-vietnamese-woman-physically-abuses-and-cuckolds-singaporean-husband-after-marriage/

there's a reason why ....me so choosy.

 

being a virgin, my first time damn special you know

[Ash2017]

Tianmo I know you are good BUT did not know you are that good

 

you really Tua Ki

 

 

If that is TS, then all the more he should try to help himself 

 

 

Sorry TS, I saw this topic but since I am of no help, I decided to stay away. 

 

However, unintentionally as I was searching for some other news I am interested in, I came across this pcs of news. I am not a fan of theindependent.sg,  but I thought I would still highlight it here anyway. 

 

sound familiar guys?     

 

http://theindependent.sg/gentle-vietnamese-woman-physically-abuses-and-cuckolds-singaporean-husband-after-marriage/