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Should men be the sole $$ contributor despite both working?


Icebrush79
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Answers will definitely differ. Personally, marriage to me is sacred, so eating outside is something I will not do. 
This question is chicken and egg.
 
In the first place, that's why I stress that all expectations needs to be ironed out before marriage.
I won't marry the woman if she insist that the man pays 100% while both are working. 
 
There are many ways to stop eating outside - mainly the hardware and software
 
Hardware - First off, marry someone that appeals to you physically and facially
Software - Keep relighting the spark of affection and both will stay loving to each other to a strong extend - sometimes small things like giving each other endearing nicknames helps, or doing things that is exclusive to each other

 

 

 

Know what are your non-negotiables and stick to them.  Don't get married with the belief that "oh I can change my spouse" as many are wont to do.  

 

Software: 

 

Making time (but you need to know if you and your spouse believe in quantity or quality) and it takes efforts on both partners. 

Don't compare your spouse to another married couple.

Don't go b!tching to your g/fs and bros about your spouse instead of working it out with your spouse.  

Don't play guessing games and expect your spouse to guess your feelings and wants and then get annoyed because he or she doesn't do so unlike some other couple or friend. 

Be appreciative of the efforts of your spouse and don't take it for granted and treat it like its his or her duty. 

Be honest.

Don't disrespect your spouse in front of others.  

Don't disrespect or diminish your spouse privately.  

Don't play cold war or passive aggressive games.

Don't neglect your spouse.

Lastly love and cherish your spouse.  One can love your spouse and still f*ck someone else; you won't do so if you cherish the relationship and love your spouse.  Love is a feeling and changes with the hour  and season, cherishing is the act.   

 

All this assumes that you've ironed out the open AND more importantly hidden expectations before marriage. 

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yes. trying bro. i honestly dont foresee any issues ... as it is, when the other is tired, the other just takes care of things. dont even need to ask. if i see my wife tired, i just do the dishes quietly.

 

so hopefully, things will always continue to get better! ^^

0 kid vs 1 kid vs 2 kids

 

Super big difference

 

Your "foresee" will change drastically lol.

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Know what are your non-negotiables and stick to them.  Don't get married with the belief that "oh I can change my spouse" as many are wont to do.  

 

Software: 

 

Making time (but you need to know if you and your spouse believe in quantity or quality) and it takes efforts on both partners. 

Don't compare your spouse to another married couple.

Don't go b!tching to your g/fs and bros about your spouse instead of working it out with your spouse.  

Don't play guessing games and expect your spouse to guess your feelings and wants and then get annoyed because he or she doesn't do so unlike some other couple or friend. 

Be appreciative of the efforts of your spouse and don't take it for granted and treat it like its his or her duty. 

Be honest.

Don't disrespect your spouse in front of others.  

Don't disrespect or diminish your spouse privately.  

Don't play cold war or passive aggressive games.

Don't neglect your spouse.

Lastly love and cherish your spouse.  One can love your spouse and still f*ck someone else; you won't do so if you cherish the relationship and love your spouse.  Love is a feeling and changes with the hour  and season, cherishing is the act.   

 

All this assumes that you've ironed out the open AND more importantly hidden expectations before marriage. 

 

If all the above exist in every relationships, the world would be a much better place.

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i only have one of my friends wife i cannot stand.

 

she is also quite overweight.

 

when i was driving my gtr, my wife ask if can tompang her ... but she cannot fit in the back seat (not physically possible)

 

so my wife sat behind, while her friend sit in front (i was quite pissed off, cos she insist on the tompang)

 

and then in the car she proclaimed (to my wife i suppose) ... "why must sp4wn buy such a selfish car"

 

my wife straight away from behind rub my arm, so i didnt say a word. but i was f**king pissed off. 

 

my money - my choice, still tompang your fat ass, and you still got the cheek to tell me that ...

 

How come the fat friend is usually the annoying friend?

 

Should have told her off, the car only seems small in comparison to your fat ass....

 

As long as the ride is free, there should be no complains about it at all... Let alone sitting in a GT-R....

 

Eh think she is mixing with all the not so ideal type of friends, can be very bad influence

 

Friends can sometimes also break up a marriage

 

Doggie senpai, what you said is very true!

 

My ex also had a fat friend who lead her astray.. In the end, she choose the friend over me, but tried to get back together a few times...

 

Anyway, not married, but good to hear all your different points of view... I already made up my mind, no matter what, I will have to have a secret account that is not touched or known by my partner in any case (until my death)... For whatever purposes... As long as house n bills are paid for, a part of my money is my own secret fund.

 

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How come the fat friend is usually the annoying friend?

 

Should have told her off, the car only seems small in comparison to your fat ass....

 

As long as the ride is free, there should be no complains about it at all... Let alone sitting in a GT-R....

 

 

Doggie senpai, what you said is very true!

 

My ex also had a fat friend who lead her astray.. In the end, she choose the friend over me, but tried to get back together a few times...

 

Anyway, not married, but good to hear all your different points of view... I already made up my mind, no matter what, I will have to have a secret account that is not touched or known by my partner in any case (until my death)... For whatever purposes... As long as house n bills are paid for, a part of my money is my own secret fund.

Never sit in gtr before :(
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If all the above exist in every relationships, the world would be a much better place.

In reality, its a work in progress. To be blunt, what matters to me is as long as both my spouse and I actively work towards this together, I couldn't be bothered about whether all relationships in the world are like this.

 

I take care of my inner circle first, then I bother about the larger circle.

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How come the fat friend is usually the annoying friend?

 

Should have told her off, the car only seems small in comparison to your fat ass....

 

As long as the ride is free, there should be no complains about it at all... Let alone sitting in a GT-R....

 

 

Doggie senpai, what you said is very true!

 

My ex also had a fat friend who lead her astray.. In the end, she choose the friend over me, but tried to get back together a few times...

 

Anyway, not married, but good to hear all your different points of view... I already made up my mind, no matter what, I will have to have a secret account that is not touched or known by my partner in any case (until my death)... For whatever purposes... As long as house n bills are paid for, a part of my money is my own secret fund.

Hello strawberry! U have been missing in action, havent u? Must have been busy pak-tor-ing :D

 

Wah...y must have a secret account huh? U Planning on some big or small purchases? [laugh]

Edited by Pinobii
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How come the fat friend is usually the annoying friend?

 

Should have told her off, the car only seems small in comparison to your fat ass....

 

As long as the ride is free, there should be no complains about it at all... Let alone sitting in a GT-R....

 

 

Doggie senpai, what you said is very true!

 

My ex also had a fat friend who lead her astray.. In the end, she choose the friend over me, but tried to get back together a few times...

 

Anyway, not married, but good to hear all your different points of view... I already made up my mind, no matter what, I will have to have a secret account that is not touched or known by my partner in any case (until my death)... For whatever purposes... As long as house n bills are paid for, a part of my money is my own secret fund.

Having a secret account is easier said than done.

When you jointly purchase a property, you have to submit your cpf statements, your other half will figure out how much you make.

 

It is possible for that secret fund to happen if you have a side income what you can keep unknown to your spouse. Or if you already somehow manage to amass a considerable fund before marriage.

 

Also, don't forget, if things get ugly in a divorce settlement, all your assets needs to be declared in court.

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hor...@tianmo has always been to people's park centre bo jio us go

 

no wonder he knows so many ATBs ... :XD:

 

 

 

most expats left their wife back home own country, and work overseas most probably end up like above

 

@Tianmo jio me I also may not go coz his standard of  [gorgeous]  [thumbsdown] . I rather follow @Staff69  [laugh]

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How come the fat friend is usually the annoying friend?

 

Should have told her off, the car only seems small in comparison to your fat ass....

 

As long as the ride is free, there should be no complains about it at all... Let alone sitting in a GT-R....

 

 

Doggie senpai, what you said is very true!

 

My ex also had a fat friend who lead her astray.. In the end, she choose the friend over me, but tried to get back together a few times...

 

Anyway, not married, but good to hear all your different points of view... I already made up my mind, no matter what, I will have to have a secret account that is not touched or known by my partner in any case (until my death)... For whatever purposes... As long as house n bills are paid for, a part of my money is my own secret fund.

 

You are not secret agent, why you need secret account?  :D

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@Tianmo jio me I also may not go coz his standard of [gorgeous][thumbsdown] . I rather follow @Staff69 [laugh]

 

Tianmo got 2 category

 

Public and private

 

U friends friend him , he shows you the solid stuffs

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@Tianmo jio me I also may not go coz his standard of  [gorgeous]  [thumbsdown] . I rather follow @Staff69  [laugh]

 

ya lor............somehow I always tio those sub standard ones........knn is either I ugly or I appear poor to them..............i also want follow @staff69 go find shu qi.............but as usually.................good ones he always keep for own use.............2nd 3rd grade ones he sub out ........................... <_<  <_<  <_<

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@Tianmo jio me I also may not go coz his standard of [gorgeous][thumbsdown] . I rather follow @Staff69 [laugh]

yah that's a good idea

 

esp when tianmo is so into animals now..........

 

 

 

 

esp

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No wonder he said he will pm me his FR instead of posting here  :a-happy:

 

until now no news of test drive leh.............I think @adrianli kept as spare liao............ [:p]  [laugh]  [laugh]

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