Will you marry her if she prefer to stay home & not working

[SuPerBoRed]

Follow the brain and not the heart... Mutually agreed and demand are different. If a lady is not prepared to lead a hard life with me, let go. It is better for both parties, she can go after the lifestyle she's looking for and I can look for the one suitable for me...

 

Marriage is not about trying but it is A LIFELONG commitment. Look ahead 10 years... is OMO (one-man operation) household suitable? Lower back pain NOT EQUAL to can't work. I had slip-disc but still working... My wife had back pain after giving us 2 cute kids and still working part-time as a pre-school teacher ( 3 - 4hrs /day) and taking care of the kids.

 

I'm married for 10 years and still counting, it may not be long but long enough to know that with marriage comes responsibility and commitment. And it is the sense of commitment that burns the flame of love... When one party decides to give up, love dies. As a guy, I may not want to give up now but will I give up after 3 or 4 or 5? Same for the lady, she may agree now but will she complaints later?

 

Matter of the heart is not simple as 123 or ABC, go for pre-marriage conselling course and understand each other better. I did mine before marriage and I will encourage every couple to go.

 

ok ... what you are saying is not wrong.. but you are missing the TS's point..  (reread his first post.. he amended)

 

the gf is NOT unable to lead a hard life.. never ask for much.. never splurge money type..

 

I believe even if earn less... the TS is trying to say the gf will not expect/demand same lifestyle as before..

ie.. 有饭吃饭。。有粥吃粥 

 

only flaw.. dont want to work... could be psychological... could be many things. We could be discussing over something which they could very well settle tomolo morning after a simple sit down and chat

 

 

And the rest of your comments.. agree fully 

[Lycanthrope]

forget it la .. how to be happy in long run .... practically a worker outside and a servant inside ... 

Edited November 25, 2016 by Lycanthrope

[Atrecord]

Reason for not want to work-> low back pain, always feel pain when sit too long in office. (good reason)

 

I will not mind if i take home 12K but will mean living a simple life style. 12K minus monthy outgoing is good to saving for both into retirement, for me at least. What say you guys?

 

She tried internet marketing, gave up few months cited too many following up and take long time to generate 1st income, and busy work load and work stress. 

 

Lastly...  prefer her man to buy a flat and not a cent from her.

 

and the contrasting part...She doesn't spend much, always pack lunch to office. And not keen on dress above $100 cited expensive. 

 

Since you're asking about marriage, the next questions to ask are:

 

- Do you believe that marriage is just between the two of you, or are you the type that feels that marriage is a package, which involves your families too?

 

- The first question has implication: if you feel the former, then after hearing so much, just make your own decision as it will not likely affect others. You must be prepared to live with your decision, should things not turn out well. The good thing is it should not affect others.

 

If you feel it will impact/affect your families, then have you spoken to them too? Start with your own. Do your parents/family like you to have children? If yes, and if the pressure is not insignificant, then you better check whether the girl is keen to have children, or if she's not keen to treat her back problem, can she have children? The taking care, upbringing, $$, etc. must be considered next.

 

- oh, if family is involved, better check whether can get along or not. There are infinite cases of a normal-contributing (working or taking care of family very well) wives having fights with the in-laws. Must see whether given her circumstances, will there be any potential conflicts with your family or not. You don't want to be caught in between in future if there are inherent problems that can never be changed.

 

- Next, what is your own expectation of a marriage? Is it just someone to love? Or do you want to build and grow a family, etc.? From there, check what can she bring to the marriage. Then decide whether it's good for you. 

 

Traditionally, it's Love & Bread. But the modern day marriage/family is much more. Is she able/willing to contribute apart from the 'love' bit?

 

Good luck on this.

[AFV_V200]

My wife hasn't worked since marriage. It is up to individual. What kind of lifestyle you want? $4-$5k a month is enough to lead a pretty good life as long as don't splurge on cars and luxuries.

And on top of 4-5k. Still need at least 5-6k for saving into retirement. Have you consider that and some other saving for rainy day?

[Jamesc]

As everyone knows I am a women trapped in a man's body.

 

I also looking for rich syt to take care of me and I also don't

 

want to work. But I am willing to do my bit and provide tlc to my partner.

 

I think that's a fair deal.

 

[Stratovarius]

Reason for not want to work-> low back pain, always feel pain when sit too long in office. (good reason)

 

I will not mind if i take home 12K but will mean living a simple life style. 12K minus monthy outgoing is good to saving for both into retirement, for me at least. What say you guys?

 

She tried internet marketing, gave up few months cited too many following up and take long time to generate 1st income, and busy work load and work stress. 

 

Lastly...  prefer her man to buy a flat and not a cent from her.

 

and the contrasting part...She doesn't spend much, always pack lunch to office. And not keen on dress above $100 cited expensive. 

Screw her, literally. Sounds like a parasite.

 

If after marriage, got kids and want to stay at home, fair enough. On the other hand, no kids, stay at home for what? Sweep, mop, do laundry, cook 3 meals for you every single day?

 

How long have you know her? Know any of her close friends? Doesn't spend much now doesn't mean everything. I have a friend who's wife change 180 after marriage. Apparently, everything was a pretense before marriage and my friend had a hell of a time trying to get out of it. Remember WC, in case of a divorce, she can claim no income and squeeze you dry dry. 

 

Of course, I might be wrong. Maybe she just want a simple "shake leg at home" kind of life and nothing else.

[Freeder]

If I met a girl(at least 7/10) with this kind of attitude, make sure attire at home must be in lingerie n heels n all the works

[Vid]

And on top of 4-5k. Still need at least 5-6k for saving into retirement. Have you consider that and some other saving for rainy day?

 

There is medisave and also medical insurance if one wants extra coverage. Cars are the major expenses in Singapore. It's not a must. HDB no need buy too big, 3 or 4 rooms enough. Education is so cheap in Singapore also if plan to have kids.

 

It is all about expectations.

[Pocy]

I see so many Mods + 2F2F in this thread!! Seldom leh. Trying to help in a 'very personal' question. Hahaha .... Friday liao ..... alll very free LOL!!

[Throttle2]

There is medisave and also medical insurance if one wants extra coverage. Cars are the major expenses in Singapore. It's not a must. HDB no need buy too big, 3 or 4 rooms enough. Education is so cheap in Singapore also if plan to have kids.

 

It is all about expectations.

Thats why i say, i must learn from you lah

[Mockngbrd]

Go home see this then keyi

Edited November 25, 2016 by Mockngbrd

[Jman888]

ok ... what you are saying is not wrong.. but you are missing the TS's point..  (reread his first post.. he amended)

 

the gf is NOT unable to lead a hard life.. never ask for much.. never splurge money type..

 

I believe even if earn less... the TS is trying to say the gf will not expect/demand same lifestyle as before..

ie.. 有饭吃饭。。有粥吃粥 

 

only flaw.. dont want to work... could be psychological... could be many things. We could be discussing over something which they could very well settle tomolo morning after a simple sit down and chat

 

 

And the rest of your comments.. agree fully 

 

 

maybe still have the kampong mentality from the old generation, men go out make money, wife stay home and take care of everything.

[Vid]

Thats why i say, i must learn from you lah

 

I also got to learn from you lah. How to wipe table, smoke cigars and buy lolex

[Throttle2]

I also got to learn from you lah. How to wipe table, smoke cigars and buy lolex

All that is very simple to do.

[Voodooman]

Marry a girl that has a good heart, the rest can be tolerated.

 

It is however hard to find a woman willing to be a full time homemaker but to decide so early in her career she don't want to work and at the same time, no kids, is likely a character flaws.

 

Many fishes in the ocean.

Edited November 25, 2016 by Voodooman

[Wyfitms]

There are plenty of guys who don't have "working" wives.

 

Some women give up their previous jobs after mutual agreement with their husbands-to-be. Many men don't mind supporting their families. It's a personal choice (made with the spouse, obviously).

 

So there's nothing inherently wrong with it.

 

But if this is something she is demanding and you are not happy with it at all, then that's not an acceptable arrangement.

 

And if you can't see eye-to-eye on something so fundamental, maybe there are bigger problems on the horizon if you do get married.

 

(BTW, the reason I put "working" in quotes in the first line is that when I say "not working", it's very misleading and uncharitable. Being a homemaker and full-time mom, even with a maid to assist, is no joke. You gotta respect that. But if she pulls no weight at all in the home, then I wouldn't be too impressed).

That very true. My wife has been taking care of the household for a few years now. Even with a maid and my in laws coming over every day, it's no mean feat.

 

And if I am absolutely honest with myself, I think I got the better deal to just worry about earning the dough

[Vid]

All that is very simple to do.

 

Wipe table I know. I do everyday at home.

 

Cigars and lolex are the ones I can't afford. Hell, I don't even own a watch [laugh]

[Wyfitms]

Wipe table I know. I do everyday at home.

 

Cigars and lolex are the ones I can't afford. Hell, I don't even own a watch [laugh]

That is the ultimate... whenever I meet big shots or ceos who wear a Casio or don't even wear a watch, I'm like