To be Happy, start thinking about Death!

[RadX]

Saw this article in the ST and it kinda resonated with me on how my life thus far has gone by considering the challenges and what I live to appreciate.

 

Amidst the chaos of life, we tend to forget that we are mortal and our time here is finite.  A good reminder that our time is ticking and as we think and reflect of what is to come, we can be more fulfilled and HAPPY.

 

Peace and to a better 2016 amidst the gloom now!

 

 

To Be Happier, Start Thinking More About Your Death

Arthur C. Brooks JAN. 9, 2016

 

WANT a better 2016? Try thinking more about your impending demise.

Years ago on a visit to Thailand, I was surprised to learn that Buddhist monks often contemplate the photos of corpses in various stages of decay. The Buddha himself recommended corpse meditation. “This body, too,” students were taught to say about their own bodies, “such is its nature, such is its future, such its unavoidable fate.”

Paradoxically, this meditation on death is intended as a key to better living. It makes disciples aware of the transitory nature of their own physical lives and stimulates a realignment between momentary desires and existential goals. In other words, it makes one ask, “Am I making the right use of my scarce and precious life?”

 

In fact, most people suffer grave misalignment. In a 2004 article in the journal Science, a team of scholars, including the Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman, surveyed a group of women to compare how much satisfaction they derived from their daily activities. Among voluntary activities, we might expect that choices would roughly align with satisfaction. Not so. The women reported deriving more satisfaction from prayer, worship and meditation than from watching television. Yet the average respondent spent more than five times as long watching TV as engaging in spiritual activities.

If anything, this study understates the misalignment problem. The American Time Use Survey from the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that, in 2014, the average American adult spent four times longer watching television than “socializing and communicating,” and 20 times longer on TV than on “religious and spiritual activities.” The survey did not ask about hours surfing the web, but we can imagine a similar disparity.

This misalignment leads to ennui and regret. I’m reminded of a friend who was hopelessly addicted to British crossword puzzles (the ones with clues that seem inscrutable to Americans, such as, “The portly gentleman ate his cat, backwards”). A harmless pastime, right? My friend didn’t think so — he was so racked with guilt after wasting hours that he consulted a psychotherapist about how to quit. (The advice: Schedule a reasonable amount of time for crosswords and stop feeling guilty.)

While few people share my friend’s interest, many share his anxiety. Millions have resolved to waste less time in 2016 and have already failed. I imagine some readers of this article are filled with self-loathing because they just wasted 10 minutes on a listicle titled “Celebrities With Terrible Skin.”

Some might say that this reveals our true preferences for TV and clickbait over loved ones and God. But I believe it is an error in decision making. Our days tend to be an exercise in distraction. We think about the past and future more than the present; we are mentally in one place and physically in another. Without consciousness, we mindlessly blow the present moment on low-value activities.

The secret is not simply a resolution to stop wasting time, however. It is to find a systematic way to raise the scarcity of time to our consciousness.

Even if contemplating a corpse is a bit too much, you can still practice some of the Buddha’s wisdom resolving to live as if 2016 were your last year. Then remorselessly root out activities, small and large, that don’t pass the “last-year test.”

There are many creative ways to practice this test. For example, if you plan a summer vacation, consider what would you do for a week or two if this were your last opportunity. With whom would you reconnect and spend some time? Would you settle your soul on a silent retreat, or instead spend the time drunk in Cancún, Mexico?

If this year were your last, would you spend the next hour mindlessly checking your social media, or would you read something that uplifts you instead? Would you compose a snarky comment on this article, or use the time to call a friend to see how she is doing? Hey, I’m not judging here.

Some might think that the last-year test is impractical. As an acquaintance of mine joked, “If I had one year to live, I’d run up my credit cards.” In truth, he probably wouldn’t. In a new paper in the science journal PLOS One, two psychologists looked at the present value of money when people contemplated death. One might assume that when reminded of death, people would greatly value current spending over future spending. But that’s not how it turned out. Considering death actually made respondentsless likely to want to blow money now than other scenarios did.

Will cultivating awareness of the scarcity of your time make you grim and serious? Not at all. In fact, there is some evidence that contemplating death makes you funnier. Two scholars in 2013 published an academic paperdetailing research in which they subliminally primed people to think about either death or pain, and then asked them to caption cartoons. Outside raters found the death-primed participants’ captions to be funnier.

There’s still time to rethink your resolutions. Forget losing weight and saving money. Those are New Year’s resolutions for amateurs. This year, improve your alignment, and maybe get funnier in the process: Be fully alive now by meditating on your demise. Happy 2016!

 

 

 

[RadX]

Not to sound moribund, but many ppl are ill prepared when they meet their maker.  I have seen many sudden death cases where the estate is hanging in the balance and thus sometimes, even the govt holds on to it.  REported that up to 147mil is waiting to be collected.

 

Here is a list of what could be be done as one is currently of sound mind:

 

1.  Will - a must and be clear on what goes to whom

 

2.  CPF nomination - this, even the will cannot cover.  Get it done soonest and nominate whomever you deem at CPF office in the presence of the officer

 

3.  Preference of how body is to be handled - be prescriptive on how you wish the body to be settled, ie the remains, etc

 

4.  Last wishlist - this includes all necessary clothings etc for the burial.

 

 

@lala81, as we were on the same page, if you have anything to add on, pls do.

[Lala81]

Not to sound moribund, but many ppl are ill prepared when they meet their maker.  I have seen many sudden death cases where the estate is hanging in the balance and thus sometimes, even the govt holds on to it.  REported that up to 147mil is waiting to be collected.

 

Here is a list of what could be be done as one is currently of sound mind:

 

1.  Will - a must and be clear on what goes to whom

 

2.  CPF nomination - this, even the will cannot cover.  Get it done soonest and nominate whomever you deem at CPF office in the presence of the officer

 

3.  Preference of how body is to be handled - be prescriptive on how you wish the body to be settled, ie the remains, etc

 

4.  Last wishlist - this includes all necessary clothings etc for the burial.

 

 

@lala81, as we were on the same page, if you have anything to add on, pls do.

 

Singapore is probably one of the few places in the world whereby the processes are clear and govt is proactive in encouraging people to prepare early.

 

I think you need a few things

 

a) LPA for someone to handle affairs for you should you be incapacitated 

 

b) Will/CPF nomination

 

c) Someone who knows where your financial instructions/wills are kept

- there is a will registry in singapore, so whoever is doing the will, dont spare the $ and do get your will listed in the will registry. In case your descendants don't know which law firm your will is at. From what i garnered from my friend, they won't really automatically look for the beneficiaries of the will. Someone has to go actively ask the law firm.

[RadX]

Singapore is probably one of the few places in the world whereby the processes are clear and govt is proactive in encouraging people to prepare early.

 

I think you need a few things

 

a) LPA for someone to handle affairs for you should you be incapacitated 

 

b) Will/CPF nomination

 

c) Someone who knows where your financial instructions/wills are kept

- there is a will registry in singapore, so whoever is doing the will, dont spare the $ and do get your will listed in the will registry. In case your descendants don't know which law firm your will is at. From what i garnered from my friend, they won't really automatically look for the beneficiaries of the will. Someone has to go actively ask the law firm.

 

 

thanks bro.  

 

 

Yes, and you need the executors of the will.  Preferably trusted relatives, etc.  Thos would be the 1-stop for all processes on going.

[Ender]

I think  having a religion helps and convincing themselves of the rewards in the afterlife.

[RadX]

I think  having a religion helps and convincing themselves of the rewards in the afterlife.

 

 

that is more for peace within.  Finding solace in the unknown yet to come

[Maxus-MIFA9]

But thinking of your package, feel sad again ...

[Ender]

And I think  my wife already sign both of us with the Saint Joseph dying club or something like that.  Think it's they help in  end stage of life to funeral procession.. not too sure, will ask more detail from her.

[Jman888]

i feel very happy every time i think i am going to die on the bed  

[RadX]

But thinking of your package, feel sad again ...

 

 

oh that.....on that note, there are various packages to deal with.  SG casket rawks IMO!  Complete and professional service.

 

 

 

I had to execute a sea burial and that was organised by them too!  Kudos to their professionalism  

[Lala81]

I think generally people don't want to prepare. 

For example, my parents are more proactive, my parents in law are more passive.

[RadX]

And I think  my wife already sign both of us with the Saint Joseph dying club or something like that.  Think it's they help in  end stage of life to funeral procession.. not too sure, will ask more detail from her.

 

 

Those would be for the final prayers, etc.  Best to write it out clearly so that ppl know what to do.  

 

As for me, I was unfazed.  Reason being I see death regularly so  had to stand firm and be decisive on what to do.  In that moment, ppl can be in a state of shock on what to do next.  It would help if you and wifey could list out what you wished to be done.  

 

Would help those who are executing the due process

I think generally people don't want to prepare. 

For example, my parents are more proactive, my parents in law are more passive.

 

 

denial bro...we see it always.  That remains the problem.  

 

People should take ownership of their own planning so as to easen the burden on the living

[Weez911]

And I think  my wife already sign both of us with the Saint Joseph dying club or something like that.  Think it's they help in  end stage of life to funeral procession.. not too sure, will ask more detail from her.

 

Bro, you referring to "St Joseph Dying Aid Association ("SJDAA")? It is a 24-hour one-stop funeral service for Catholics.

 

This is the link to above: http://nativitychurchsingapore.org/?page_id=982

[Staff69]

that is more for peace within. Finding solace in the unknown yet to come

as a friend. i will take care of your useless worldly possessions. you can start by giving me your car spare key....full paid as per mcf standards

Edited January 18, 2016 by Staff69

[Porker]

I will most likely die alone on a street in North America. Then the stray dogs will lay beside me and mourn my passing while Americans spit at the slit eyed Asian old man   I have double eye lids btw  

[RadX]

as a friend. i will take care of your useless worldly possessions. you can start by giving me your car spare key....full paid as per mcf standards

[SuPerBoRed]

AiYah.... lich people problem la dey...  

[RadX]

AiYah.... lich people problem la dey...  

 

 

eh you wun die ah....kekekeke