Tired of chasing debtor! seeking advice

[Kusje]

TS rich man. "Friend" ask for 10K and got 10K. I want to be your friend too. LoL...

 

You must act poor when ppl ask to lend money. Ask you for 10K, you say you invest much of your money and can only spare $10. Say you yourself is despo as well. No offense but you are too gulible and naive and only got yourself to blame. Get a lawyer to get back your money. This kinda ppl is no friend. Now you know. When it comes to money lending, act poor.

 

Actually don't need to have to resort to acting poor - Just man up and tell the fellow you don't lend people money - if they stop being your friend then you've saved yourself from some trouble.

 

When I was in Uni, I had an old army friend (not very close, just in the same course and met up a couple of times for makan after army) try to borrow money from me to start a business in Indonesia. He did not bother to tell me what business he was trying to start or how he was going to make money from it (did not even tell him how much it was that he wanted, all he said was that he needed some money to start this business).

 

I told him upfront that he should approach his parents. His excuse was that they didn't have any money so I told him to get a job after uni and work a few years to gather his capital before thinking of starting any business without any equity. He never contacted me after that so good riddance to him. I don't care if he is the next bill gates from starting his business but the fact he was asking me for money like that seems extremely fishy so I warned my circle of army friends about him.

[Ender]

Since lawyer says 90% win then go ahead with the lawyer.

This type of friend who has money on hand but repaying debt owed to you not high on his priority list does not deserve mercy.

[Tigershark1976]

 

Actually don't need to have to resort to acting poor - Just man up and tell the fellow you don't lend people money - if they stop being your friend then you've saved yourself from some trouble.

 

When I was in Uni, I had an old army friend (not very close, just in the same course and met up a couple of times for makan after army) try to borrow money from me to start a business in Indonesia. He did not bother to tell me what business he was trying to start or how he was going to make money from it (did not even tell him how much it was that he wanted, all he said was that he needed some money to start this business).

 

I told him upfront that he should approach his parents. His excuse was that they didn't have any money so I told him to get a job after uni and work a few years to gather his capital before thinking of starting any business without any equity. He never contacted me after that so good riddance to him. I don't care if he is the next bill gates from starting his business but the fact he was asking me for money like that seems extremely fishy so I warned my circle of army friends about him.

 

Muahhahaha... Donno y, those people who try to borrow money always use the same excuses:

 

1) start a business/ business need money,

2) mother/ father dying,

3) wife giving birth,

4) kiam ah long $$$, getting chop soon,

 

Cant they try to be more creative? give more creative reason like... Need money to buy rolex, or need money to buy GF presents, or need money to go geylang. At least let plp feel that its a honest reason. LOL

[Mockngbrd]

Bro, can borrow me money go geylang eat chicken rice? $150 only.

[Watwheels]

Bro, can borrow me money go geylang eat chicken rice? $150 only.

 

$150 only ah? No tips ah?

 

Actually don't need to have to resort to acting poor - Just man up and tell the fellow you don't lend people money - if they stop being your friend then you've saved yourself from some trouble.

 

When I was in Uni, I had an old army friend (not very close, just in the same course and met up a couple of times for makan after army) try to borrow money from me to start a business in Indonesia. He did not bother to tell me what business he was trying to start or how he was going to make money from it (did not even tell him how much it was that he wanted, all he said was that he needed some money to start this business).

 

I told him upfront that he should approach his parents. His excuse was that they didn't have any money so I told him to get a job after uni and work a few years to gather his capital before thinking of starting any business without any equity. He never contacted me after that so good riddance to him. I don't care if he is the next bill gates from starting his business but the fact he was asking me for money like that seems extremely fishy so I warned my circle of army friends about him.

 

Haha...actually I find TS very straight, very easy to makan. Ask for 10K give 10K, never try to bargain. Seems like no lack of such trusting friend everywhere you go.

 

Muahhahaha... Donno y, those people who try to borrow money always use the same excuses:

 

1) start a business/ business need money,

2) mother/ father dying,

3) wife giving birth,

4) kiam ah long $$$, getting chop soon,

 

Cant they try to be more creative? give more creative reason like... Need money to buy rolex, or need money to buy GF presents, or need money to go geylang. At least let plp feel that its a honest reason. LOL

 

If they are creative and good you will most likely be in trouble liao. I think you would not lable the person as "friend". You would call him out loud as a con man.

[Kusje]

 

Muahhahaha... Donno y, those people who try to borrow money always use the same excuses:

 

1) start a business/ business need money,

2) mother/ father dying,

3) wife giving birth,

4) kiam ah long $$$, getting chop soon,

 

Cant they try to be more creative? give more creative reason like... Need money to buy rolex, or need money to buy GF presents, or need money to go geylang. At least let plp feel that its a honest reason. LOL

 

I've actually seen this one happen before. Poor chap borrow money (not from me) to buy HP and B'day presents for his GF even though he comes from a not too well to do family. I think people usually don't dare to ask me for money even if we are close because I will say it as it is.

[Tigershark1976]

Bro, can borrow me money go geylang eat chicken rice? $150 only.

 

hmm... i got only 20 bucks... why not i bring u to deska and u up the cat $20 ah mah and i film it down as IOU. LOL

[Euroreans]

thanks for all the comments in this thread!

 

ya i damn was naive.... expensive mistake for me to bear. i guess i will go to the lawyers regarding this incident... any one has cheap lawyers to introduce? was told that fees will be higher if hes declared bankrupt....

 

i tried to find his son. but his son oso mia. maybe i should ask EDMW ppl to csi my debtor and his son out... from what i understand his son is a part time lecturer in NUS....

 

[Hydrocarbon]

But there goes your friendship.

 

What friendship?

 

Muahhahaha... Donno y, those people who try to borrow money always use the same excuses:

 

1) start a business/ business need money,

2) mother/ father dying,

3) wife giving birth,

4) kiam ah long $$$, getting chop soon,

 

Cant they try to be more creative? give more creative reason like... Need money to buy rolex, or need money to buy GF presents, or need money to go geylang. At least let plp feel that its a honest reason. LOL

 

I used this reason before: I was in NS, all my available cash stuck in trading account, even if take out, need 2 working days to get the cash or so, and my laptop just kaput. That weekend was IT fair, so I had to borrow 1.5K from a friend, and I told her about it.

 

She lent me the money, and I returned the very hour my money was withdrawn from the trading account, but my excuse (real one la) creative bo? Haha, let you rate...

 

Think share so many story also useless ba, those who kind heart lend out, must be prepared to see money fly. I've been on both ends before, if I borrow from others, I make sure I return ASAP, but those that lend from me and fly away, I take it as good riddance. Worst type is family debts.. =S

[Kusje]

 

What friendship?

 

 

I used this reason before: I was in NS, all my available cash stuck in trading account, even if take out, need 2 working days to get the cash or so, and my laptop just kaput. That weekend was IT fair, so I had to borrow 1.5K from a friend, and I told her about it.

 

She lent me the money, and I returned the very hour my money was withdrawn from the trading account, but my excuse (real one la) creative bo? Haha, let you rate...

 

Think share so many story also useless ba, those who kind heart lend out, must be prepared to see money fly. I've been on both ends before, if I borrow from others, I make sure I return ASAP, but those that lend from me and fly away, I take it as good riddance. Worst type is family debts.. =S

 

This kind of excuse... I will always tell you to borrow from your parents instead of me. What was your reason you decided to borrow from a girlfriend instead of parents?

[TameDriver]

 

TS,

That friend of yours fleeced you, knowing that you are a simple & trusting guy.

Also, by borrowing just 10k, he knows that it is not to your advantage to sue him to get that amount back. If you are able to recoup it back from him, most of it would have been used to pay the lawyer. And the hassle........

 

If you are comfortably well-off, just consider it a donation to a desperate low life you once regarded as a friend!

 

It's a blessing to be able to give, rather than having to receive charity from others.

[Hydrocarbon]

This kind of excuse... I will always tell you to borrow from your parents instead of me. What was your reason you decided to borrow from a girlfriend instead of parents?

 

Lucky I never ask from you instead... =D

 

I come from lower income family.. Needed the cash quite urgently lor, as it was IT fair, otherwise, prices slightly higher... I paid her back on Monday or Tuesday la, and she didn't need to chase me at all. Not girlfriend, but female friend.. She's a good friend.. If she ever needed help, it is my obligation to help her..

 

[Kusje]

 

Lucky I never ask from you instead... =D

 

I come from lower income family.. Needed the cash quite urgently lor, as it was IT fair, otherwise, prices slightly higher... I paid her back on Monday or Tuesday la, and she didn't need to chase me at all. Not girlfriend, but female friend.. She's a good friend.. If she ever needed help, it is my obligation to help her..

 

 

Haha. Push comes to shove, I might lend you the money but hold the goods as collateral.

[The_Bear]

thanks for all the comments in this thread!

 

ya i damn was naive.... expensive mistake for me to bear. i guess i will go to the lawyers regarding this incident... any one has cheap lawyers to introduce? was told that fees will be higher if hes declared bankrupt....

 

i tried to find his son. but his son oso mia. maybe i should ask EDMW ppl to csi my debtor and his son out... from what i understand his son is a part time lecturer in NUS....

 

Depending on how far the debtor is willing to push the issue, the costs might not be as high as you think. A simple letter of demand and filing of writ does not cost too much. You can sit down and let the lawyer run you through onthe cost involved at different phases. You can also choose to discontinue at any point if you think it is not worth it. It depends on who blinks first sometimes.

[The_Bear]

You just be straight with him, I am assuming if you have gotten a flat out No yet? Just tell him you need the money urgently to settle some debts (tell him its like 50K) and you need it now. If he come up with some excuse just flat out ask him in the face to stop playing games and tell you if he intends to return or not since he delay so long already. Tell him if he don't return you will ask his wife/parents for the money cause no choice or seek legal help cause you are desperate.

 

Alternative you can also try to convince him first you need the money ASAP for blah blah reason (whatever urgent BS lah), and make him give you whatever he can fork up first. This way you can salvage back some cash before you lose the "friendship"edge.

 

 

 

 

Over the years, I have my fair share of people trying to borrow money. One thing I learn is a straight forward rejection is easier than trying to lie. The problem usually lies with them so if I am caught lying, I compromise my position. I tell them straight that it is not me that do not have the means to lend but it is them who don't have the means or commitment to return. They usually would like to debate on that but it is still my call.

 

Unless I know a person's financial situation well (highly unusual), I treat it that the money is unlikely to be returned. People have family, colleagues, boss and friends to turn to in times of need. Unless you are very close, think of all those people within his circle that he has borrowed from before comuing to you. This will give you an idea of his debt situation. Most of our so called 'friends' will consider us to be at least tier 4 and below. Alarm bells should be ringing.

 

If really I feel that it is a situation I should help, I will advise them to seek loans from official financial bodies. Banks are usually out of the question so next up will be legal money lenders. If they cannot even get a loan from money lenders, who am I to loan them the money? I will offer to pay the interest for the period they 'promised' to return me the money, usually they say 'next month' or so. The cost and interest involve would not be too much. So they cannot use the excuse of high interest to avoid going to money lender. This amount they can either take it as a loan or favour. If the debtor really mean what they said, they will not have problem with this arrangement. But usually they will still back out for reasons I am really not interested in.

 

In the worst case scenario, I might take an IOU for at least twice the loan amount. If the debtor expects me to trust him blindly on that amount based on based on our relationship, similarly he should trust me fully that I will tear up the IOU once the original amount is redeemed. Furthermore, at least I am in a stronger financial position. Scare them off everytime I propose this. Maybe I lost a friend because he tulan me. But better than I tulan him. At least I will still buy him a beer the next time I see him. But the fact is I have already lost a friend the moment he made his request.

[I-love-singapore]

Dun go to the lawyer.

The bankruptcy thing, got many loop hole.

 

First u send,lawyer letter.

Each cost $100+-

 

Send many letter liao. Than can go court.

This,step alone, can stretch at least 2 year.

 

When u att. Court, u hv to take leave.

He can hack care u n dun go court.

It civil case, farking mata will not arrest him.

 

 

U dun att court 1 time leh.

It many times.

Till the judge say u win the case.

 

So Nx step is bring lawyer to his house.

U must be there too. Waste,even more leave.

 

More loop hole here.

I m not going to say how ppl do it. but u need to go his,house many times, each time u hv to write letter n waste more $.

 

 

By the time u reach This step, u already waste more than Wat he own u.

 

Lawyer tell u 4k is the min steps taken.

Every extra step, is extra $.

 

 

Even u manage to get into his house in the end, 100% it empty inside.

U can't make him sell hdb.

So it like u waste 20k n get not even a cents back yet.

 

U try debt collector, If it dun work, Just forget it lah.

[RadX]

neither a borrower nor a lender be!

 

Just 3 mths ago, a relative called me fr Msia and sought 15k loan for some conference etc printing. I said no. They had all sorts of reasons say wan support the family etc. I refused.

 

In end received a call a few weeks back telling me that I was wise not to lend them cos if i had done so, I would have lost it cos the 'deal' they were in turned sour.

 

Case closed

 

My position has always been never to lend.

[Mustank]