Cutting ties with parents

[Yusld]

could it be you the one who is sick?

 

how about go to Woofers Wu for a make-over then tell them you not their daughter?

 

 

 

jk

 

thanks for your comment.

[Zakkwylde]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5DXgCaLIwI

[Tigerwoods]

let me take this opportunity to reiterate one thing,

 

many has the misconception of counselling (me included, of course) that one goes there to seek advice and learn from counseller what to do.

 

No, that is so wrong.

 

Counsellers do not tell you what to do but helps you to unsolve and decide what you really want from inside of you.

Yes. Many people think going to Counsellors or Motivational Speakers will get the Magical spell to cast away all their problems.

Basically these people only tell you things you already know deep in your heart but pull them out to reiterate them to you.

Eventually the one that can improve and resolve all your problems is still YOU and those we go with YOU.

 

TS - by posting your issues in this forum, you are already getting counselling from all of us, anonymously.

do bring forward to get real counselling together with your parents.

 

You can't unloved whom you love.

Edited April 26, 2014 by Tigerwoods

[Yeshe]

 

Yes, complicated, very complicated. No points I just start a topic for fun............. But , just upset. Nothing more I can say!

 

ok, i suspect the following happened,

 

1) you bought over your parent's house a few years ago at a good price.

2) your parents moved to stay with your siblings after cashing in

3) property prices went up

4) parents + siblings not happy that you got the house at a good price and so keep asking for $$$ indirectly.

 

I might be wrong, but this is wat i suspect.

[Jman888]

 

ok, i suspect the following happened,

 

1) you bought over your parent's house a few years ago at a good price.

2) your parents moved to stay with your siblings after cashing in

3) property prices went up

4) parents + siblings not happy that you got the house at a good price and so keep asking for $$$ indirectly.

 

I might be wrong, but this is wat i suspect.

 

 

No need to speculate, TS may have deeper issue than these which outsider might not even understand.

 

Nobody can interfere with other domestic problem, TS came in asking a technical question on legality of their relationship.

 

If they need help, they need to take the step to seek one.

[Yeshe]

No need to speculate, TS may have deeper issue than these which outsider might not even understand.

 

Nobody can interfere with other domestic problem, TS came in asking a technical question on legality of their relationship.

 

If they need help, they need to take the step to seek one.

 

true, i kaypoh only

 

anyway, cutting ties with parents is sibey sibey serious issue, i just cannot understand the root cause that can drive this.

if indeed $$$ is the cause, it is very very sad.

 

last advice for TS, Money is a good worker, but never a good master.

 

[Ktglfc]

 

Nothing to do with maintenance fr your info

 

I am willing to pay for their maintenance even though, but just want to legally cutting off with them. Thanks for all inputs, I felt it! Only people come across my situation will understand. Those happy family will not feel the frustration......

 

 

 

and....... after reading all the above, all very sensible inputs, I decide it this way. Pay them monthly allowances that I can afford, never visit them, never answer their calls ........... this is the last resort.

 

 

Vex and upset. Nothing to do with the topic, but just want to say, I had lost 9 kg in a month.

 

Pity you, TS :(

 

Time for you to decide your next course of actions le.

We have given our advices, so just discuss with your hubby and then proceed as what you deem is the best course of action.

 

Don't think so much, and get on with your life.

Regain weight and lead a normal life and enjoy your time with your hubby :)

All the Best :)

[Yusld]

 

ok, i suspect the following happened,

 

1) you bought over your parent's house a few years ago at a good price.

2) your parents moved to stay with your siblings after cashing in

3) property prices went up

4) parents + siblings not happy that you got the house at a good price and so keep asking for $$$ indirectly.

 

I might be wrong, but this is wat i suspect.

 

Very near and part of the reason....... and that is all. I am garteful to you guys, very sensible comments!! Thanks!

[Unltd]

The topic sounds unfilial but tolerance hit my limit. Not gonna type millions of words but my parents is too much, hit my nerves and I decide to end ties with them. Demanding for money, insulting and nothing can save this relationship any more. Even my hubby told me, just ignore them, no need to do anything but as far as my concern, I will want to cut off with them legally.

 

 

any friends have any advise? No flaming please , I labeled myself " unfilial " then............ Let me know the procedure, anyone?Thanks

I think something is terribly wrong with you also having to come to an Internet forum to seek such advise, you should speak with your lawyers and close friends.

[Hamburger]

 

I think something is terribly wrong with you also having to come to an Internet forum to seek such advise, you should speak with your lawyers and close friends.

 

 

 

cant agree with you here, there are also many here that may give good advice and perspective.

[Unltd]

  

 

 

cant agree with you here, there are also many here that may give good advice and perspective.

No doubt here are many here that can give fantastic advise, I did not mention there is something wrong with this forum or the people giving the advise.

 

I mean she must be in such a terrible position to have to come to an Internet forum to solicit advise from people she don't know instead of getting profession opinion from a lawyer or her close friends.

 

No lawyers can help? No friends to turn to?

[Hamburger]

well, sometime a neutral party may offer a different point of view or maybe she does not have too many friends after married.

[Ktglfc]

Let TS settle her thoughts.

We shouldn't pile her with more of our inputs.

I am sure she knows what to do now :)

[Yusld]

   

 

 

cant agree with you here, there are also many here that may give good advice and perspective.

 

Mr Ham is right. Why must I turn to friends or lawyer before i know any procedures. Forum is fantastic, when I seek for advise here, no one knows me....... Many sensible reply, that is nice to see.

 

I know someone might "anti" this topic, like I said, this never happen to you, you won't feel the pain. Or must I say, I don't have a happy family like you .

[Friendstar]

TS. Have u had a quality discussion with ur hubby already?

[Unltd]

 

Mr Ham is right. Why must I turn to friends or lawyer before i know any procedures. Forum is fantastic, when I seek for advise here, no one knows me....... Many sensible reply, that is nice to see.

 

I know someone might "anti" this topic, like I said, this never happen to you, you won't feel the pain. Or must I say, I don't have a happy family like you .

You know nothing about my family and how well it is going. Neither will I go on the internet to rant. Don't assume others have a happy or sad family. Don't assume you are in the worse or better position than anyone else who you don't know.

 

I sympathize with you no doubt, but you have relatives, husband, own family, friends and there is professional opinion which you can seek. I am not "anti" you, I just find this the wrong place for this. There are many other forums which can better address your concerns, this is a car forum.... Anyways I wouldn't wish any bad situation on you, hope you get it resolved.

 

Karma goes around (if you believe it), maybe it is your parents, that's why this is happening to you. Your actions may bring about your own to your kids. Technically what you are attempting to do is right legally, well it is your call.

 

The technical actions are

 

1) changing your passport and NRIC surname

2) announcing in major publications

3) informing all friends and relatives

4) disavowing all things from them

5) returning everything which you still have in your possession that belongs to them and demanding they return all things that you had lent them or even given to them

6) leaving nothing for them in your will

7) cutting off all emotional and financial ties with them

8) stopping your kids and family from seeing them

9) leaving the country

 

The list goes on, how far you intend to go? In the end, they brought you up for better or worse to be what you are now, maybe this is their karma. Sorry I have to make assumptions and pass judgement.

[Chucky2007]

Sad case.. Parents must be heart pain also and also lost 9kg?

[Thaiyotakamli]

The topic sounds unfilial but tolerance hit my limit. Not gonna type millions of words but my parents is too much, hit my nerves and I decide to end ties with them. Demanding for money, insulting and nothing can save this relationship any more. Even my hubby told me, just ignore them, no need to do anything but as far as my concern, I will want to cut off with them legally.

 

 

any friends have any advise? No flaming please , I labeled myself " unfilial " then............ Let me know the procedure, anyone?Thanks

make sure you return your blood to them or at least 50:50 split...

 

then u will still need to give them alimony money just like divorce

 

 

 

either you do this or forget about cutting off ties. when you are born in this world, you are to accept them as part of your life. be it good or bad parent, they are still the one gave birth to you

Best is a time-out. I did that when i just became a father......not a word from me and not even a visit....only during the most important day of the year then i go but oni for a while. Never disown your parents....u can chose not to visit them giving excuses as busy or anything....but never utter those words!

yes fully agree

Edited April 26, 2014 by Thaiyotakamli