Posted to Shanghai

[Jman888]

  On 11/22/2013 at 4:37 AM, Fcw75 said:

 

Very hard not to esp when Shanghai girls are tall, slim, fair, pretty...hahaha.

 

 

yah, beijing slightly safer

[Kangadrool]

Prease factor in the taxation for foreigners working in China also and bargain hard for proper remuneration.

[Fcw75]

  On 11/22/2013 at 4:40 AM, Jman888 said:

 

 

yah, beijing slightly safer

 

Yah man...haha.

[Joemit7850]

  On 11/22/2013 at 4:34 AM, Othello said:

another word of advice. If stay China too long, may be hard to adjust when you get back to SG. If you like it there, you wun like SG. If you hate it there, you'll be back within 1 year

 

honestly I have been running shanghai - Singapore for the pass few month almost 2-3 trip per month, is very tiring and I know I will still prefer to be in Singapore .. Singaporean lifestyle....

  On 11/22/2013 at 4:41 AM, Kangadrool said:

Prease factor in the taxation for foreigners working in China also and bargain hard for proper remuneration.

 

thanks I am looking into that..

[Throttle2]

  On 11/22/2013 at 4:22 AM, Myxilplix said:

You go Shanghai, she stay Singapore. Take turns to shuttle up and down for weekends, long weekends and holidays.

 

Make sure company provides travel allowance to come home or fly your wife up.

 

Also can arrange to meet wife somewhere else for short holidays together to keep the love fires burning. One weekend in HK, another one in Qingdao, next go to Taipei, etc etc.

That is super best case scenario....very unlikely.

 

The likelihood is marriage fails. Laws of nature. Sacrifices have to be made. Theres a tradeoff to everything.

[Enye]

i have never seen or heard of any straight guy of any age able to resist temptation when based in China alone

 

good luck

[Count-Bracula]

  On 11/22/2013 at 4:37 AM, Fcw75 said:

 

Very hard not to esp when Shanghai girls are tall, slim, fair, pretty...hahaha.

. . . quite true but shhhhh . . . *nose bleed*

[Porker]

  On 11/22/2013 at 4:40 AM, Joemit7850 said:

 

she don't like to leave me too far as you know how the Chinese work in business... KTV ...gal... drink.... etc

 

5 hrs is not long but to travel from Singapore to Shanghai vices verses are not cheap if not too often, even through my company agreed to let me travel back 1 week every month for the first year.

 

my wife is super sticky person (if you know what I mean) will follow me everywhere except I go work and toilet .. haha 00

That is the most difficult issue to resolve. Everything else can be worked out. You need to see if you can establish trust and her confidence in you that you'll never stray.

 

Don't get caught if you eat outside ok :p

[Knoobie]

Actually since your company already agreed for you to fly back every month to see your wife, you could've just done it.

 

then your wife can accumulate her leave and take a long break from work on the 2nd year to accompany you in Shanghai?

[Arenz]

Good to sit down with wifey to work out a common goal, say 1-3 years. Even better if you plan for a boy/girl to strengthen relationship.

 

This coupled with regular getaways together will help to keep things smooth for a while, hopefully :)

[Kusje]

How long have you been married for and how old are you?

 

Any plans for children?

 

All these will be a big factor in your choice.

[Adrianlim13]

8 years ago I was in the same position. In the end, I went to shanghai alone and wife stayed behind.

 

Pls note the income tax for foreigners is really high. Nett off , if what u take home can cover for your wife portion then she can quit and go along. (she will sacrifice future advancements but at least current $$$ not affected)

 

Living in Shanghai is costly... even the KTVs, Vices are . Haha.

 

Some bros mentioned tall, slim, pretty shanghai girls.... nah, most of us don't stand a chance unless you are damn rich, damn good looking or Ang mo. My PRC friend bao mistress is provide 100k allowance, BMW , apt .. how to fight :-(

 

Other cities,we got chance, hell break lose. haha.

 

Anyway, My 2 cents,... Go alone first, you/company may not last long there ,(sorry for being direct). Fast forward, I have since relocated back to sg.. and my wife has risen to a snr position within her company.

[Toothiewabbit]

  On 11/22/2013 at 4:37 AM, Fcw75 said:

 

Very hard not to esp when Shanghai girls are tall, slim, fair, pretty...hahaha.

One of my clients (bachelor) was posted there last year and hook up with one soon enuf and getting married next month

[Aventador]

Tell her better do dry run test in Singapore first

 

for research sake tell her you should visit KTVs & Joo Chiat every night in Singapore, test to see if you will get tempted

 

if after 1 month no problems, you can go Shanghai already

 

P/S: now no kids, is best time to further your career. Women can be replaced, your children cannot

[Gildor8]

  On 11/22/2013 at 4:14 AM, Joemit7850 said:

Hi,

 

I am married with a wife, no kid.

 

my company are sending me to China (almost certain as nobody else can go as I am one of the partner for this company) for at least 1-2 year.

problem is my wife has her own career which pay her quite well and she is almost certain does not want to separate with me for too long.

 

If I am asking her to give up her career and join me in China - she will have to give up everything she built up in her company and restart, even might have to restart again when she come back to Singapore.

 

If she remained in Singapore and I will be in China, this is something she do not want to it to happen.

what should I do??

 

If almost certain I will need to be in China. Should I ?

1)ask her to follow me China and leave her career?

2)ask her to remain in Singapore.

 

I know final decision still within us but I just hope someone can share their experience or idea as I am totally loss now...

 

Thanks

This is an issue alot of Singapore talented couples are facing now. If you want to earn more money, you have to travel. But you must also think of the future. If you want me 2 cents worth, you might like to understand how often can you come back to Singapore in a month. If for example, you can come back every weekend, then it may not be that bad, but if it is like once every year for a week only, then you might want to just forgo going overseas if your wife refused to go with you.

[Hiphiphoray]

i say forget about the shanghai posting.........period.

[Sabian]

You mentioned your company posting is 1-2 yr at least?

 

Doesn't make sense for her to quit if her career is promising if you're going there for less than 3 yrs.

 

You have to work out your sums vs your wife's insecurity vs your ability to keep your kkj in check.

 

Do some projection. If you're now at the at end of your posting (assuming 3 yr), are you happy with if you've achieved in the last 3 yr (taking into account your household income/ career prospects of your wife and yourself).

 

It's a big sacrifice so the pot at the end of the rainbow must be worth it. Otherwise, staying put and doing nothing is better. It just means you take longer to reach that pot.

 

I've been in Ho Chi Minh for almost 10yr now. But I go back weekly. Shanghai is much further. But if you fly once a mth and she flies once a mth, it's every 2 weeks. If you feel it's not enough for your wife, given her stickiness you mentioned, don't go.

 

Some bros advise that she joins you only when you fully settled down. That's good advice. Just in case, you don't want to stay, she need not quit her job for nothing.

[S4vtec]

  On 11/22/2013 at 4:32 AM, Joemit7850 said:

 

haha.. are you still in Shandong and did both of them follow you ?

 

 

In the end, negotiated for short term rotational contract , come back every 6 months between me and another collegue.