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Sharing of Good Jokes

Byteslurve

By Byteslurve,
in Lite & EZ

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Kiadaw

Kiadaw

6th Gear

My company is very funny. Someone must have went around to name the food in the fridge.

 

Just this morning, I eaten a snicker call Kevin, & a yogurt name Rebecca.

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Dwee

Dwee

5th Gear

 

Don't quite understand the 2nd part where "Andy" went on with more of his dad's bets. Maybe I'm not familiar with horse racing or American football. When will Singapore pools start offering odds for American football?

 

Beats me...

 

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Maxus-MIFA9

Maxus-MIFA9

Supersonic

Family Problems

 

 

Two men, an American and an Indian were sitting in a bar and discussing about their family problems.

 

 

The Indian man said to the American, "We have problems in India that we can't marry the one whom we love, [mad] You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from another village whom I haven't even met once. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...... I told them openly and now have a lot of family problems.

[smallcry]

 

The American said, talking about love marriage..... In America, We can marry the one whom we love.... ^_^

 

I'll tell you my story. "I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law..... :o

 

Legally now my wife's daughter is my mother and more problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's step brother-in-law and also my father's grandson...... [grin]

 

Situation turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson. And you say you have family problems.

 

The Indian fainted............ [dizzy]

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2BDriver

2BDriver

Hypersonic

Family Problems

 

 

Two men, an American and an Indian were sitting in a bar and discussing about their family problems.

 

 

The Indian man said to the American, "We have problems in India that we can't marry the one whom we love, [mad] You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from another village whom I haven't even met once. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...... I told them openly and now have a lot of family problems.

[smallcry]

 

The American said, talking about love marriage..... In America, We can marry the one whom we love.... ^_^

 

I'll tell you my story. "I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law..... :o

 

Legally now my wife's daughter is my mother and more problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's step brother-in-law and also my father's grandson...... [grin]

 

Situation turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson. And you say you have family problems.

 

The Indian fainted............ [dizzy]

Wah ! This American family became our local popular food, " Rojak "

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Jeffc

Jeffc

5th Gear

John, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical check.
A few days later, the doctor saw John walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to John and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
John replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

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Fibo

Fibo

4th Gear
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. ‘guaranteed’ weight loss program.


The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.


She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.


The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.'


Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.


The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.


On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.


He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.


The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'.


Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.


Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs as promised.


He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.


'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone. 'This is our most rigorous program.'


'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'


The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'


He lost 63 pounds that week.


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Super7

Super7

Turbocharged

Wah ! This American family became our local popular food, " Rojak "

In case this one not posted before --

 

Deathbed Instructions

 

Ramasamy is on his deathbed. He asked his nurse to be a witness to his will.

 

His wife, his daughter and two sons are at his bedside..all grieving����...

 

"So", he says to them:

 

"Lingam, I want you to take the houses in steven road .."

 

"Saraswathy, take the apartments over in Bukit timah estate..."

 

"Jega, I want you to take the offices over in CBD Central...."

 

"Lulumali, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings in tekka"..

 

The nurse is just so amazed and envy by all this, and as Ramasamy passes away, she says, "Mrs. Lulumali, your husband must have been such a hardworking and rich man to have accumulated all these wealth?!...for all of you..............

 

Lulumali replies, "we send newspaper one la!.. ayoyo"

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2BDriver

2BDriver

Hypersonic

 

 

Not sure whether to post this in a sports thread but since it made me laugh:

 

This TT game is hilarious.

The best ever ping pong match that I've seen, both players are [thumbsup] talented and comical [laugh] , they made the 2 judges [dizzy]

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2BDriver

2BDriver

Hypersonic

Not sure whether to post this in a sports thread but since it made me laugh:

 

This TT game is hilarious.

Nice and hilarious ping pong game that you'd attached, my power has fully drawn, owe you P5 tomorrow.

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Camrysfa

Camrysfa

Turbocharged

Nice and hilarious ping pong game that you'd attached, my power has fully drawn, owe you P5 tomorrow.

 

Wah, your bank very reliable . . . credited so fast [thumbsup]

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