Parental advice

[BlueOldMan]

Mid 30s....

 

Wa wa u sound more n more like my fren

Frank LAMPARD

[Ahseng]

AS so many bros alreayd said. YOUR WIFE NOT ON YOUR SIDE = gonecase. Nothing's gonna change.

 

Just drop every damn thing and get your wife on your side. Else it's just YOU VS everyone else (we all know who's winning)

 

To avoid straining the relationship btw MIL and YOU, your wife would step in and put it across to her mum. (as i said earlier it's easier for your wife to talk to her mum than you)

 

sooooooo.....

 

 

Stop surfing MCF now and have a good talk with your wife!

Edited June 18, 2013 by Ahseng

[BlameIsOnMe]

AS so many bros alreayd said. YOUR WIFE NOT ON YOUR SIDE = gonecase. Nothing's gonna change.

 

Just drop every damn thing and get your wife on your side. Else it's just YOU VS everyone else (we all know who's winning)

 

To avoid straining the relationship btw MIL and YOU, your wife would step in and put it across to her mum. (as i said earlier it's easier for your wife to talk to her mum than you)

 

sooooooo.....

 

 

Stop surfing MCF now and have a good talk with your wife!

 

Should be with your mother in law.

[Ahseng]

Should be with your mother in law.

 

he needs to get his wife on his side first mah. Else it's a losing battle. husband n wife shud always be on same line.

[Djim]

TS, all I can say is after reading what you want to tell us, is that you are a hopeless, ungrateful person. If I were standing next to you, I would have given you a punch in the face. If your daughter is so precious to you, then you really cant have it both ways. Firstly do you think taking care of a child during their early age is really easy. Please your MIL is not younger than you right, different generation and hence teach differently. It is because you MIL love your child very much that she is taking so much effort in trying to may your child the best she can be. All your fark about what you think and what you want, screw it. Why I am so strong in my words, basically, when you cant even give two hoots about your daughter and placed your career about a flesh and blood, you got the nerves to complain about MIL and so on. Get a life. If I were you, I should be thanking my MIL. Not many people here have the previlege of having in-laws helping out. Go and think about you.

[Strudel-]

I dont think theres a need to quit your job or your wife's job. You just need to find a job that can let you have a balance in life. As 1 of my manager told me, we're here just because we need the money to support the family and if we like the job, its a bonus. So the family is the priority.

 

Instead of trying to take control, just go with the flow and integrate into the current situation. It'll do you more good than harm. You arent really over reacting and its good you've noticed that too. Now you just need to know what to do next for the best of the family, including for your MIL. Marriage is not about 2 person.

Edited June 18, 2013 by Strudel-

[Hamburger]

Any suggestion on asking MIL to move out dont seems to be right. How Would you feel if one day you are asked to move out after taking care of your grandchildren for more than a decade. It sents the wrong moral values to younger generation.

[Jman888]

Any suggestion on asking MIL to move out dont seems to be right. How Would you feel if one day you are asked to move out after taking care of your grandchildren for more than a decade. It sents the wrong moral values to younger generation.

 

 

asking parent to move out is no no, especially after what TS MIL has contributed, 家有一老，如有一宝

[Moneysucker]

asking parent to move out is no no, especially after what TS MIL has contributed, 家有一老，如有一宝

 

i disagree.

 

if your MIL is preventing your family to grow as a unit, then its time to send her away

 

 

[BlueOldMan]

Yup it's like durex , used n throw

He should cut down working hours to spend more x with family

[Nzy]

The best is if one of you can stop working. If that is not possible then at least make it a point to leave work on time and go back early to spend time with your children. On weekends also don't bother with your work and just spend time with children.

 

If send the MIL away and hire a maid or someone to take care then end up with a similar problem just that this time she will listen to the maid. lol.

Edited June 19, 2013 by Nzy

[Carnoob]

Well, it's about family or money... My wife took the ultimate sacrifice and quit her job to take care of our 2 kids instead of leaving it to her mother / my MIL. Hmmm, after reading this I think she made the right choice... You cant blame your MIL for being "tough" on her grandchild. She has a heavier responsibility than the both of you, if she dont discipline, end up a delinquent both of you will start to blame her this and that.

 

Busy wif work, a gd excuse to give but a bad reason for a kid. No need to send MIL away, sit down and tok to her, her responsibilities are done both of you will "take over" now on. However her grandchild turns out, both of you will not blamed her. Ask her to go spend her "golden" times meaningfully.

 

The problem is both have to sacrifice, one has to shoulder most of the financial, the other to work part time and take care of the kid. Paternal love can never ever be replaced.

[Zacxaviqer]

Just saw this on my fren's FB...

 

The five-year-old granddaughter made a mistake，mom was teaching her a lesson，grandma felt very vexed, she said to granddaughter loudly: "get out of here, I hate you! Everybody hates you! I want to send you to go! Get out!"The poor granddaughter was crying and crying...

Soon after, grandma said to granddaughter again："I hate you, your mother hates you! Your mother likes your sister! Everyone hates you! So how is mom's feeling? Angry or button up one's mouth?

 

Her Hubby replies

 

Sometimes it's the way someone express their sadness n anger in seeing their loved one being scolded harshly

Conclusion. Being a mom should not make the children feel neglected n that their mum is being bias. It's extremely unhealthy

 

 

What's yr take on this???

[Fatcat188]

I was a weekend dad for almost 10yrs.My advices to u is that family should come first!It is worthless to pursue too many material comfort if your basic needs are alrdy met.All things abt career are only excuses.Dun leave your own flesh and blood to any other ppl and expect them to do it as u expected.