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Parental advice


Zacxaviqer
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Twincharged

The first 12 years of your children's life is the most precious, try to spend more time with your children.

After this 12 years, your children will change.

 

You only have 12 years of happiness, enjoy it while you can and don't regret later on.

 

this advice kinda late for TS right... daughter already 12

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Twincharged

Was I over-reacting to the whole situation??

 

So it's ok for the grandma to discipline the child while parents could play the secondary role such as bring her out for outings, have good dinner, pamper her and bring her for overseas trip?

 

When I was young, my parents was the one disciplining us while my uncles will bring us out for outings, go out for a feast and bring us to long roadtrip in Malaysia...

 

Have this changed over time?

 

 

 

it changed when u and your wife decided to let your mil take care of the daughter for 12 yrs.. mon to fri, morning till night.

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sometimes we ve to salute to the caregiver. Children nowadays is also under alot of pressure which they may not know and we dont see it on the surface.

It really sad to say that children in singapore have to go through an education which can be tough if kids cannot chiong.

 

If you really can afford,make the original mum the homemaker and you will be peace of mind under your own house. You are writing this which I think a new

lifestyle is needed before any breakdown. Play & work definitely have to be separated in today's world.

 

I am curious to know the age of your MIL.

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There is not short cut to parenting... one have to be there at all time.....

 

 

+1 i still in tunnel .... still cannot see light at the end .... ha ha

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I see no parent or dad is worst than him in mcf liao

 

 

your statement is too strong to condemn TS.

 

He has an issue and a different scenario back then, he made his choice but doesn't mean he is the worst.

 

You know that you often get carried away in some topics.

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Waste time giving advice to ts. He is just looking for aunt agony.

 

Give him advice he give 101 reasons otherwise... Just accept a matriarch type of household and be done with it la....

 

 

I stated in my first post asking whether am I over-reacting to the whole situation. I was looking for opinion whether this is common in other household because in most situation, the father tends to be the disciplinary one rather than the grandma.

 

I was brought up with my dad being the ultimate decision maker for most of the things. My bro who stayed by themselves with maid taking care of his kid, has the final say in his household. Likewise for my cousins as well... I'm the only one in my household that exerience such problem so I came in to ask for advise and opinions...

 

 

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1 simple question

 

TS, when you working overseas, did you tell your mil that your daughter can call you anytime if she needs to ask you for permission?

 

my guess is no..

 

 

Yes. But she was too young to make overseas call and we told her that she can only make those call under my wife or my MIL supervision as we dun have a housephone and the only way for her to contact me was through using my wife or MIL's handphone.

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your statement is too strong to condemn TS.

 

He has an issue and a different scenario back then, he made his choice but doesn't mean he is the worst.

 

You know that you often get carried away in some topics.

 

Thats y i said sorry first. but but if you give birth to a child, but u decided that u cant look after

you are considered her dad in her position, jus that shes is made up from your sperm

she is looked after by the grandma, now she not only dun trust her dad, she trust her grandma, its normal rite?

put yourself in her shoe bro

 

my bad for being so direct, im sorry

i feel for the kid, i feel for the grandma too

 

she got to bring up her kids, and oso bring up her grand child at this age

in the end, kana bashing on internet only

 

bad

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Yes. But she was too young to make overseas call and we told her that she can only make those call under my wife or my MIL supervision as we dun have a housephone and the only way for her to contact me was through using my wife or MIL's handphone.

 

no no i mean your MIL... not your daughter.... she most likely got used to making decisions on your behalf... in a way your daughter is her daughter liao

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Turbocharged

I stated in my first post asking whether am I over-reacting to the whole situation. I was looking for opinion whether this is common in other household because in most situation, the father tends to be the disciplinary one rather than the grandma.

 

I was brought up with my dad being the ultimate decision maker for most of the things. My bro who stayed by themselves with maid taking care of his kid, has the final say in his household. Likewise for my cousins as well... I'm the only one in my household that exerience such problem so I came in to ask for advise and opinions...

 

u are right, most of the households, the father will make the final decision. problem is, you let your MIL become the father of your daughter since young. now u wanna take the authority back? good luck to u

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some people are just more fortunate than the other, TS problem is not a big problem.

 

you just have to put your points across and dun get carried away by calling name.

 

 

Thats y i said sorry first. but but if you give birth to a child, but u decided that u cant look after

you are considered her dad in her position, jus that shes is made up from your sperm

she is looked after by the grandma, now she not only dun trust her dad, she trust her grandma, its normal rite?

put yourself in her shoe bro

 

my bad for being so direct, im sorry

i feel for the kid, i feel for the grandma too

 

she got to bring up her kids, and oso bring up her grand child at this age

in the end, kana bashing on internet only

 

bad

 

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Dude you decided to pursue career in lieu of spending more time with your daughter and nurture her. What nonsense are you spewing? Take over if you don't want her grandma to discipline her. But oh wait you decided to focus on career and push the blame to the poor old lady for being tough on the kid. Jesus [rolleyes]

 

So one of us should quit and take care of my daugther full time??? I wondered how many couples in Singapore actually stayed home to take care of their child and did not leave it to their Mums and Dads to take care of their kid.

 

I did not blame my MIL for being tough on the kid. I disagree with her method but I swallowed it down because I dun wan to be seen to oppose my MIL in front of my daugther. The only time that I've stepped in was when she slapped my daughter for seemingly taking too long time to respond to her calling...

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wow, i didnt know mcf is also a forum for model dads

 

Every now and then we see posts like forummers bring kids to legoland , mlk, GH, CH etc etc

Buy fishes for kids to eat, asking for recommendations of clinic etc etc

All these showed parents concerns to their love kids.

 

if you wan pursue yoyr career till both cant look after kid

i had rather dun give birth at that time

so since ts n wife both had been fighting for their career for past 12 yrs

they must be sb successful now

no??

 

now not only grand ma taking things into own hands

now the kid oso dun feel close n no trust to her 'own' parents

 

no???

 

ok ok im too into it, sorry

 

if pple can treat wild stray dogs with love n care in other thread

How can dun feel for the KID ?????

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I stated in my first post asking whether am I over-reacting to the whole situation. I was looking for opinion whether this is common in other household because in most situation, the father tends to be the disciplinary one rather than the grandma.

 

I was brought up with my dad being the ultimate decision maker for most of the things. My bro who stayed by themselves with maid taking care of his kid, has the final say in his household. Likewise for my cousins as well... I'm the only one in my household that exerience such problem so I came in to ask for advise and opinions...

TS looking for opinions and advice and people here keep attacking him!

 

I would like to say the man of the house makes all the decisions

 

and I make all the decisions in my home

 

when my wife alllows me.

 

:D

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