We want the best for the child - $15k couple

[Wt_know]

household income = $15K, 0 children

household income = $7K+, 1 children

household income = $1.8K, 6 children

 

the higher the income, the lesser children (likely 0) per family

this is simply because

 

a. we want the best for the child, enrichment class such as ballet, piano/violin, etc

b. we want the best for the child, clothes such as polo kid, baby guess, oshkosh b'gosh, etc

c. we want the best for the child, the best and most popular pre-school with low teacher-to-student ratio

 

will "paternity leave" solve this problem? hehe

 

high competitive = high expectation = high expenses = this reflect the society in big cities (including hong kong, taipei, tokyo, seoul, etc unlike beijing/shanghai that has 1 child policy)

 

Why people are not having babies

 

The couple's parents, who have been bugging them for the pitter-patter of tiny feet, might have to wait a while. -TNP

Esther Ng

 

Tue, Aug 28, 2012

The New Paper

 

They have been married for three years but have no plans to have children yet.

 

Financial planners Amanda Bandar-Tay and Bandar Tjetty, both 28, together earn $15,000 a month, but even so, they feel that they are not financially ready to have children.

 

The couple's parents, who have been bugging them for the pitter-patter of tiny feet, might have to wait a while.

 

The couple live in a resale five-room flat in Tampines with Mrs Bandar-Tay's parents and sisters.

 

Says Mrs Bandar-Tay: "You want the best for your children and good quality early childhood education is so expensive.

 

"It's $1,500 for half a day and $2,000 to $2,500 for a full day every month for a good pre-school." Mrs Bandar-Tay should know.

 

She graduated with a degree in early childhood education and taught in a private childcare centre, Brighton Montessori, for four years .

 

"The teacher-student ratio at a private childcare centre is much lower and the qualifications of teachers tend to be better. (But) so is the cost of education," she says.

 

"You want the best for your kids because the system is so competitive. You want them to go to good schools and a good pre-school will give you a good foundation."

 

Being financial planners, the couple have worked out their sums.

 

By their estimation, it will cost them $3,000 to $4,000 a month in fees for enrichment classes, pre-school, wages for a caregiver and a maid, and the cost of diapers and food to raise a child.

 

"Don't forget you also have to save for their education - you can't rely on CPF because most of it will go towards housing," says Mrs Bandar-Tay.

 

Mr Tjetty estimates that by 2023, the cost of local university education will amount to $150,000, while an overseas education will cost double of that. The couple do want to have kids, just not now.

 

Said Mr Tjetty: "I wanted to have five, but after doing the sums, anything more than two will be a stretch."

 

For now, the couple's game plan is to save as much as they can, so that in about two to three years' time, Mrs Bandar-Tay can stay at home and look after the children, Mr Tjetty tells The New Paper on Sunday.

 

The couple say they're aware of the risks of having children at a later age but say there's always in-vitro fertilisation.

 

"Don't forget, we're self-employed - we don't get CPF - so we have to put aside savings each month," he says.

 

Being a housewife would mean spending "quality time" with the children, says Mrs Bandar-Tay.

 

"One of the reasons my mother and I are very close is that she was there for me and my two younger sisters at home."

 

One kid but who'll care for our future ones?

 

Mr Frank Teo and Ms Lydia Soh, both 31, say they may not have more children. -TNP

Benson Ang

 

Tue, Aug 28, 2012

The New Paper

 

They have one child.

 

But Mr Frank Teo and Ms Lydia Soh, both 31, say they may not have more children.

 

He is an assistant manager, while she is a claims officer.

 

They live in a four-room flat in Clementi.

 

Despite them making more than the median monthly household income, the Teos say that it will be hard to have more children, even if they wanted to.

 

The median monthly household income from work among all resident employed households was $7,040 last year.

 

While they are at work, their three- month-old daughter, Alyss, is cared for by Mr Teo's father, who lives in the same block.

 

Says Ms Soh: "If I have another child, I'm worried my father- in-law will not have the energy to care of an additional child.

 

"It's hard to get affordable and reliable childcare.

 

"Professional infant and child care is expensive and is quite a long way from our home.

 

"The waiting list for a childcare centre is also very long."

 

"We wouldn't want to hire a maid, despite the endless household chores as it would mean additional costs and we do not feel comfortable with a stranger in the house.

 

"And it would be inconvenient for me to work from home as my job requires me to access many different computer systems."

 

One possible solution would be to further subsidise infant care and locate childcare centres near workplaces so parents have some peace of mind while at work, says Ms Soh.

 

But there are other problems, such as how to pay for the child's education.

 

Ms Soh has considered buying an endowment plan to pay for her daughter's university fees in about 20 years' time.

 

But such a plan would cost the family about $300 a month, she says.

 

So a larger baby bonus, would definitely provide more support for young parents, she says.

 

In addition, Ms Soh hopes fathers can be given paternity leave.

 

Currently, there is no statutory entitlement to paternity leave.

 

"Two weeks to a month would be good. It's important for the father to be around in the first few weeks after the baby is born, so that both parents have time to settle in during this transition period."

 

Mr Teo agrees. He says: "It'd be great to have a few more days to provide mental support to my wife and family.

 

"I will also be able to help her with the adjustments she will have to make to welcome a new member to our family."

 

But both acknowledged that no matter what carrots are dangled before them, young parents would have to make many personal sacrifices to have more children.

 

Says Ms Soh: "When we were dating, we could go on longer holidays. Now we tend to go only as far as Bangkok.

 

"We used to go for movies every weekend, but now we are more restricted in terms of time.

 

"But it's worth it because having a child really completes our lives. We love our little princess very much."

Edited August 28, 2012 by Wt_know

[Baphomet]

its the stressful environment... the raising cost of living..

 

Put it this way..you rather have more kids but they suffer with you, or would you rather have lesser kids but able to provide him/her with a better living condition? I will choose the latter.

 

I feel as an average person with an average income like myself..the maximum children i can have is 1...and 2 will be right at the limit.

 

 

What I felt might help :

 

1) highly subsidize IUI treatments (alot of couples(including myself) wanted to have more babies but not able to..and couldn't afford to pay for IUI)

 

2) subsidies not only for childcare, but also student care...currently student care no subsidies... (its not as if once primary one, the kid can go home them-self without adult supervisions...)

 

3) rethink current education system which emphasize too much on results.. (very stressful for the kids)

Edited August 28, 2012 by Baphomet

[Freestylers09]

the only enrichment class i will send my kids is mind mapping

 

rest see how, maybe teach them go downstairs pak gor li or play catching..lol

[Baphomet]

To a child, better living usually is receiving more attention from parents. To parents, often it is buying gifts, attending enrichment classes, big house, ... See the disconnect ?

 

if a parent can keep on buying gifts, send their kids to numerous enrichment classes and buy big houses.. they can afford more kids.

 

Im referring to average income Singaporean.

Edited August 28, 2012 by Baphomet

[Baphomet]

the only enrichment class i will send my kids is mind mapping

 

rest see how, maybe teach them go downstairs pak gor li or play catching..lol

 

 

I will only send my kid for things which she have interest in; like drawing, swimming, piano, etc.

 

do not want to pile more stress on her.

[Carnoob]

Good articles and summary for the problem with Child Birth in Singapore

[Joseph22]

She graduated with a degree in early childhood education and taught in a private childcare centre, Brighton Montessori, for four years .

 

"The teacher-student ratio at a private childcare centre is much lower and the qualifications of teachers tend to be better. (But) so is the cost of education," she says.

this one talk c--k. my friend also teach in Montessori in fact she is now Principle. she say, teacher qualification no different be it private or public childcare.

[StefanK]

household income = $15K, 0 children

household income = $7K+, 1 children

household income = $1.8K, 6 children

 

the higher the income, the lesser children (likely 0) per family

this is simply because

 

a. we want the best for the child, enrichment class such as ballet, piano/violin, etc

b. we want the best for the child, clothes such as polo kid, baby guess, oshkosh b'gosh, etc

c. we want the best for the child, the best and most popular pre-school with low teacher-to-student ratio

 

will "paternity leave" solve this problem? hehe

 

high competitive = high expectation = high expenses = this reflect the society in big cities (including hong kong, taipei, tokyo, seoul, etc unlike beijing/shanghai that has 1 child policy)

 

Personally, I don't see a need for my kids to wear Guess Kids, OshKosh or Polo... I grew up without knowing these brands, it's not necessary for them too.

Is it not the best?

 

I also don't see a need to 'volunteer' them for many 'enrichment' classes which do not enrich their lives and allow them to grasp life and it's actual beauty. Not unless they have an inexplicable interest in certain areas.

 

A kid's life is about play, that's the idea Reggio Emilia and Montessori tries to inculcate in parents and the children. Swiss kids do not begin actual learning academic education till the age of 7 and they have a generous tradition of 'churning' out scientists after scientists, geniuses after geniuses.

 

I believe the best for my children should be nurturing what nature gave to them, so that they excel in their talents. Not forcing them to learn everything to make them Jack of all Trades and Master of None (以长补短，not 以短添长).

 

When they grow up, all I ask that they become a contributor to the society and not live hand to mouth. That's all I ask.

 

[Qpik]

What I felt might help :

 

1) highly subsidize IUI treatments (alot of couples(including myself) wanted to have more babies but not able to..and couldn't afford to pay for IUI)

 

2) subsidies not only for childcare, but also student care...currently student care no subsidies... (its not as if once primary one, the kid can go home them-self without adult supervisions...)

 

3) rethink current education system which emphasize too much on results.. (very stressful for the kids)

 

Totally agreed!

 

I hv a fren who spend the time & suffering plus over $200k only to find out that it doesn't work for her.

Yes, student care cost can be a killer. No control. Smelly smelly from $300 onwards per mth. Additional cost during school hols.

Changes to education system really takes time to revamp. Cannot overnite else there will be chaos.

[Qpik]

To a child, better living usually is receiving more attention from parents. To parents, often it is buying gifts, attending enrichment classes, big house, ... See the disconnect ?

 

This is absolutely true. My DD shared that most of her classmates agreed that they rather have more attention from their parents than receiving material gifts. Some don't even see their parents on wkdays only wkends.

 

[Jman888]

the was a saying that when people study too much, they tend to calculate a lot hence not willing to take certain risk and not willing to step down on their lifestyle since they have studied for so long and so hard for it

[Turbonetics]

excuses and bullsh!t.

 

[Watwheels]

Aiya... These couples are procrastinating. In their mind all they can think of is money money money. Show me the money....LOL...

 

Other dan that they are thinking too far ahead as if their child is the next prime minister. This kinda thing is taking one step at a time coz who will know how your child will turn out? Talk about kiasu.

[Jman888]

The best in term of material wants but not happy? or the best for lots of love and attention without much material wants?

 

If you going to take your kids (say 8-15) for holiday, would you

1) take them to historically place with lots of museums but boring to them or

2) take them to some kampong or nature places up north?

 

[Watwheels]

The best in term of material wants but not happy? or the best for lots of love and attention without much material wants?

 

If you going to take your kids (say 8-15) for holiday, would you

1) take them to historically place with lots of museums but boring to them or

2) take them to some kampong or nature places up north?

3) I will take them to eat char kway teow, visit heritage museum and show them ppl in the past & present work hard to make a living, success come from hard work and there's no shortcut.

[Animian]

the way i see it is the higher the income the more the couple is unwilling to let go of their lifestyle and be tied down with kids hence the excuse = it is very expensive to have kid so need more then can afford to maintain current lifestyle and at the same time have kids

 

15k combined - STAYED with parents (wonder who's house is that ? ) , no kid yet but already planned a stressful childhood for the kid...good luck

 

7K combined - Despite them making more than the median monthly household income want affordable and reliable childcare (if they find it unaffordable and reliable how would those median or below household income handle the expenses) and want more baby bonus - err.... already said it is bonus ... no matter how much the garment give it will never be enuff one - another excuse for money not enuff when they are already above the median income

 

our garment has raised a society or generation that always use MONEY as a mean to measure everything ... sad and pathetic... policies gone wrong

Edited August 28, 2012 by Animian

[Wt_know]

after got child and no car ... complain very leceh, so how?

1 child = 1 free coe ...

 

the way i see it is the higher the income the more the couple is unwilling to let go of their lifestyle and be tied down with kids hence the excuse = it is very expensive to have kid so need more then can afford to maintain current lifestyle and at the same time have kids

 

15k combined - STAYED with parents (wonder who's house is that ? ) , no kid yet but already planned a stressful childhood for the kid...good luck

 

7K combined - Despite them making more than the median monthly household income want affordable and reliable childcare (if they find it unaffordable and reliable how would those median or below household income handle the expenses) and want more baby bonus - err.... already said it is bonus ... no matter how much the garment give it will never be enuff one - another excuse for money not enuff when they are already above the median income

 

our garment has raised a society or generation that always use MONEY as a mean to measure everything ... sad and pathetic... policies gone wrong

Edited August 28, 2012 by Wt_know

[Jman888]

$15K combine, if once of them stay home left with say $8K-$10K, there you have the best of both, manageable income and a full time mum for the kids.