Settling down with gal from China.. a No No?

[Donut]

how you know he is 40?

 

 

I think TS mentioned it somewhere here......... and i was abit shocked that its a 40 year old man.

[Green_carnation]

Tell him that he's already 40. How long he wan to wait for another gal?

 

And he had to explain this logic to his mom. Anyway a 40 yr old man shouldn't listen to his mom too much

 

Yeah.. he shud have a good talk with the mum. If not wait, wait till when..

 

 

[Green_carnation]

Probably the main reason he is not married at 40....

THE MOTHER!!!!!

 

I think so too.. maybe it's not he is picky.. it's the mother who is picky.. Any gal he may know or like, the mum doesnt like then how? That's it lo.. Maybe shud ask him stay single.. then when I grow old still got a single friend to go la kopi haahaha..

 

 

 

 

[Green_carnation]

I think TS mentioned it somewhere here......... and i was abit shocked that its a 40 year old man.

 

Yeah he is 40, I mentioned somewhere same age as me.. While I choose to be single, he still hopes can get married and have kids. I told him getting older, chances of getting married with younger gal become lower.. and women who are mid 30s above may face problems getting pregnant or give birth..

 

 

[Donut]

I think so too.. maybe it's not he is picky.. it's the mother who is picky.. Any gal he may know or like, the mum doesnt like then how? That's it lo.. Maybe shud ask him stay single.. then when I grow old still got a single friend to go la kopi haahaha..

 

I really diagnose that the problem is his mother. She has this emotional/mental issue about her son getting married. she is scared that he will leave her alone.

 

Is he the only son or the youngest son?

[Elmo]

I really diagnose that the problem is his mother. She has this emotional/mental issue about her son getting married. she is scared that he will leave her alone.

 

Is he the only son or the youngest son?

 

If the guy by 40 yrs old still kena controlled by his mother, then probably it is better for the girl not to be part of this family. Tons of issues ahead.

The girl is rightfully upset of the situation - no "security" and if she really puts in effort to please the mother, TS' friend better wake up and marry her whether or not the mother approves.

 

 

 

[Green_carnation]

I really diagnose that the problem is his mother. She has this emotional/mental issue about her son getting married. she is scared that he will leave her alone.

 

Is he the only son or the youngest son?

 

I believe so is this fear in her that he will after married listen to the wife, and may end up leaving her etc. Yeah he is the only son, but only son shud continue the family 香火 right? Then no offspring, the generation ends here?

[Green_carnation]

If the guy by 40 yrs old still kena controlled by his mother, then probably it is better for the girl not to be part of this family. Tons of issues ahead.

The girl is rightfully upset of the situation - no "security" and if she really puts in effort to please the mother, TS' friend better wake up and marry her whether or not the mother approves.

 

yeah la.. even if the gal tries to convince, and if eventually they are to get married.. there may be other issues arising from the fear of losing the son to the wife. The gal may end up suffering too.. Unless they both can click and can get along well.. hmmm.. I have doubts..

 

 

 

[Donut]

I believe so is this fear in her that he will after married listen to the wife, and may end up leaving her etc. Yeah he is the only son, but only son shud continue the family 香火 right? Then no offspring, the generation ends here?

 

 

He's the only son? i knew it..... the problem lies with the mother lah!

 

Yes, continue family generation is important but the mother's fear is greater than continuing the family generation.

 

I have seen a couple of examples in the past. i really pity the sons.....

 

40 years old and he's staying with mother??!!

[Porche]

Actually shud just follow the heart.. anyway also dunno if will last.. then he worries about his mum's worries about he marrying a china gal.. maybe really uncalled for.. Maybe they together for a short while no more, then no need think too far also..

 

i agree with one of the bro. mainly DIL and MIL problem. I know a couple (both my classmates) together since sch days, married for a year but divorced recently with a baby. apparently my friend can't get along with MIL, and hubby don't dare to speak up. Pity the small baby

[TVT]

40 years old and he's staying with mother??!!

Its not unusual. Some of my male friends are over 40, and single but stayed with their mother. It is a practical thing to do.

 

What is unusal is that he, already at 40, should make his own decision and go with his feel (for the gal, whether from China or not).

[JimmyMcG1978]

What is unusal is that he, already at 40, should make his own decision and go with his feel (for the gal, whether from China or not).

 

My sentiment exactly.. it is both a bit sad and funny at the same time. But if the feller got no other close relative/kin/friend, then perhaps the opinion of the mother matters a lot to him.

[SuperEBreak]

I will not recommend it. My cousin's wife is from PRC. Her attitude is a 180 degree change after she got her citizenship. She began finding faults with my cousin and accused him of adultery then she is not at home most of the time. Last I heard that she is filing for divorce.

 

Prior getting her citizenship, she cooks daily, cleans the house, gentle and demour, polite to elders...

[FocusWagon]

From how he describes the gal to me.. seems ok and nothing to worry about. But of cos as one of the brs say try not to intervene or suggest anything..

 

To what I know.. this gal has been in sg for 10 years.. had a failed rship which ended after 4 yrs. Apparently the guy got involved with a gal, and the gal actually called her to let the guy go and let him be with her. To me, this is surface talk, and of cos I didnt go into details and ask more.

 

This gal studied in sg, got her bachelor.. and further with MBA. Her mum day in day out wanted her to get married, nagged at her to spend time to look for a partner.. and her childhood friends, schoolmates whom she still kept in contact all married with kids and also asking her to settle down soon. The mum even went to the extend of arranging matchmaking which she dreads, as have to meet the guy, the parents etc etc. She believes in having 'that feeling' and do not wanna settle down cos she has reached the so called 'marriageable age'..

 

She spends her days work, home, jogs.. sometimes watching movies alone. She doesnt party and is a homely gal. From all these that he describes, shouldnt sound too bad. I dunno, perhaps that's my preception, perhaps she hasnt shown her 'true self'.. But again how bad from all these he had said can turn out to be..

 

Seems quite localised and well educated. I think it should be an okay marriage. I got a fren came to sgp at age 15 to study. She open her mouth to speak u dun even know she born in prc. Also sgp passport now. So i believe those that came much early and localised are okay bets.

 

Just like u listen to tao li and feng tian wei. Which one would you marry? If u forced to choose one lah, and regardless of looks. I sure choose tao li. Coz she bother to learn english and speak singlish like any one of us. That is a show of their sincerity to integrate. No comments for pple like li jiawei or feng tianwei.

 

[Ysc3]

how come we always hear all the bad stuff but no happy stories ?

 

i mean only hear about SG man+PRC woman couples breaking up ... any happy stories out there ?

 

the Women's Charter is bad enuff already ... and all these negative stories are making thing worse.

[Ysc3]

.... believe those that came much early and localised are okay bets.

 

Just like u listen to tao li and feng tian wei. Which one would you marry? If u forced to choose one lah, and regardless of looks. I sure choose tao li. Coz she bother to learn english and speak singlish like any one of us. That is a show of their sincerity to integrate. No comments for pple like li jiawei or feng tianwei.

 

tao li came here at 4 ... i think maybe her singlish is better than her chinese !! LOL !!

 

even my 3 year old niece is picking up engrish more in pre-school.

 

bottomline, every marriage is a bet - unless one is marrying for the money or a purpose in mind.

[WTF]

how come we always hear all the bad stuff but no happy stories ?

 

i mean only hear about SG man+PRC woman couples breaking up ... any happy stories out there ?

 

the Women's Charter is bad enuff already ... and all these negative stories are making thing worse.

This is prob Asian style mah..........good news don't leave far but bad ones travel thousands of miles!!!

That's why Wanbao and Sin Ming sell so well........

 

I do have ex-colleagues and friends who are happily married with PRC gals and have kids of their own............still the same be it they gotten PR or citizenship........