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To those who leave family behind to work overseas....


Tjkbeluga
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Hi guys,

 

Some of you have responded to my previous post of asking what what is the allowed number of stays in Taiwan and Japan with no visa.

 

As it turn out now, the other company prefer that I quit and join them full time in Japan. So I'm now contemplating if I should join them for a couple of reasons

- I liked the job there

- Pay wise is not too bad, about 20% more than my current salary, inclusive of employer portion of CPF contribution. Apartment is provided.

- I don't like my work here. Being in IT professional, I find myself stagnating here....

 

On the other hand,

- I will need to be stationed in Japan. They proposed to allow me to go back for 2 weeks every 10 weeks but I am requesting to allow me to come back for 2 weeks every 6 weeks. I still have kids in primary school.

- Not young anymore. Coming to 40.

 

I had been through such experience 5 years ago but that time, the company just allowed me to go back a week every 4 months and relationship with wife really strained. After a year, I had to quit and come back to look for another job. This time round, it was my wife who suggested why don't I go back to Japan to work since I like the work there and I wasn't happy here.... She was happy to see the improved arrangement on the better salary structure and more time allowed to come back to SG as I started discuss with the Japan counterpart....

 

So guys who had experience in going oversea to work without family. How do you guys cope?

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Every 10 weeks is ok to me cos, every school term is 10 weeks and comes with school holidays.

 

If 6 weeks, then certain weeks, you spent your time at home while your kids in school. -_-

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My wife would say it's very unfair if I accept overseas-based job, even if she can go along with me.

 

She has to give up career.

 

If she stays in singapore and continue working, she's burdened with the entire load of kids, etc.

 

Nowadays guys cannot just do the role of breadwinner, period. Must help out at home also. [laugh]

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I was in your shoes few years ago:

 

Positive side you know better than us. Onething I could not compensate till date is those 2-3 years I was away from family. Family missed me very much and my wife still says I did not care for family in those days during our "fights". Even though career and delta was very good, I came back eventually.

 

Please consider this point over the gains by giving enough weightage. All the best.

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well bro...only you can decide, but if wifey supprt and u get to coem back every 2 weeks, not a bad deal

 

so, you gonna be FT there...so being in MCF will have helped u a bit [laugh] [laugh]

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Thanks everyone for the comments..... I've been discerning about it... Too much issues to consider and have not been sleeping well thinking about it....

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well bro...only you can decide, but if wifey supprt and u get to coem back every 2 weeks, not a bad deal

 

so, you gonna be FT there...so being in MCF will have helped u a bit [laugh] [laugh]

 

 

every 10 weeks lah, every 2 week, the plane ticket more than the salaries liao [laugh] [laugh]

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As per usual, only you'll be all alone. I spent 8yrs in the US, wife gave birth, fly back, then back to work after a few days.

If you can, during this stunt, bring the family there instead, and treat it as a holiday for them, of course you still go to work,

after work and weekends.

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As per usual, only you'll be all alone. I spent 8yrs in the US, wife gave birth, fly back, then back to work after a few days.

If you can, during this stunt, bring the family there instead, and treat it as a holiday for them, of course you still go to work,

after work and weekends.

 

 

er how u send sperm over? DHL?? [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

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Thanks everyone for the comments..... I've been discerning about it... Too much issues to consider and have not been sleeping well thinking about it....

 

 

bro...i know you and we spoke abt yoru health. Has that been resolved? Maintained? Suggest you get a full chk before you go, and a stress ECG to confirm any doubts.

 

call me if u need any good clinician

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i did asked in the last thread about what marriage thingy, that would a guy sacrifice for the sake of keeping family together by forgoing the opportunity to work overseas.

 

like some say, if the marriage is strong and the wife is independent, why not?

 

but to me i probably won't do it, maybe i am getting old [laugh] [laugh]

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er how u send sperm over? DHL?? [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

 

 

internet, they have special technology back in US and only they know [laugh] [laugh]

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every 10 weeks lah, every 2 week, the plane ticket more than the salaries liao [laugh] [laugh]

If consider go back every 6 weeks, it will be 6 trip home a year. 3 flights will be provided by company and 3 flights self pay. Given that there is almost no bonus here in SG compare to at least 1 month bonus in Japan, this should pretty much cover it...

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I appreciate the fact that IT is a field in which good advancements are hard to come by. Still, i feel that a 20% increment wouldn't justify uprooting your workplace to Japan. TS, are you currently working in a Japanese MNC that strongly reflects Japanese corporate culture? I feel that the the pay increment being the pull factor, your dislike for your current job serves as the push factor. It could be quite unpleasant to find out that the push factor turns out to be a rude culture shock.

 

Furthermore, being stationed full time in Japan, this will mean that your tax residency status will change right? Does your pay increment justify that? I am not sure but i believe that income taxes are a hell lot higher over there.

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i did asked in the last thread about what marriage thingy, that would a guy sacrifice for the sake of keeping family together by forgoing the opportunity to work overseas.

 

like some say, if the marriage is strong and the wife is independent, why not?

 

but to me i probably won't do it, maybe i am getting old [laugh] [laugh]

 

 

fren, you can drop dead anytime....think you rather have your body here....for me too easier topick your body [laugh] [laugh]

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