Shouting LOUDLY at very young kids

[Espresso]

Of course it's none of my business, your kid your business...your kid, not my business.

 

But enough said, my heart ached a little when I saw 2 parents shouting very LOUDLY at a very very young kid who is at most 3 years old. Is this the correct way to teach a young little one? The father continued to shout loudly in the carpark and bang the door really loud and zzzzzooooooooooooooom off very fast.

 

I have a little one myself and YES, even little ones listen to reasonings. If you can't reason out with your little one, it's because you do not communicate much with your kid...and communication with little ones is very important in building logical thinking and reasoning skills.

 

I hope young parents here set a good example and do not resort to shouting. Yes it's important to firm, but you do not have to loud till the whole estate can hear you. It's counterproductive and it shows what lousy parents you are.

[Mockngbrd]

Of course it's none of my business, your kid your business...your kid, not my business.

 

But enough said, my heart ached a little when I saw 2 parents shouting very LOUDLY at a very very young kid who is at most 3 years old. Is this the correct way to teach a young little one? The father continued to shout loudly in the carpark and bang the door really loud and zzzzzooooooooooooooom off very fast.

 

I have a little one myself and YES, even little ones listen to reasonings. If you can't reason out with your little one, it's because you do not communicate much with your kid...and communication with little ones is very important in building logical thinking and reasoning skills.

 

I hope young parents here set a good example and do not resort to shouting. Yes it's important to firm, but you do not have to loud till the whole estate can hear you. It's counterproductive and it shows what lousy parents you are.

ya, then these kids grow up like the father lor... same same...

[Jamesc]

Of course it's none of my business, your kid your business...your kid, not my business.

 

But enough said, my heart ached a little when I saw 2 parents shouting very LOUDLY at a very very young kid who is at most 3 years old. Is this the correct way to teach a young little one? The father continued to shout loudly in the carpark and bang the door really loud and zzzzzooooooooooooooom off very fast.

 

I have a little one myself and YES, even little ones listen to reasonings. If you can't reason out with your little one, it's because you do not communicate much with your kid...and communication with little ones is very important in building logical thinking and reasoning skills.

 

I hope young parents here set a good example and do not resort to shouting. Yes it's important to firm, but you do not have to loud till the whole estate can hear you. It's counterproductive and it shows what lousy parents you are.

Very good post.

 

Maybe their parents only shouted at them when they were young

 

so they don't know logical thinking and don't have reasoning skills.

 

So now all they know is shout at their own kids.

 

I feel schools should not only teach how to make babies

 

(only time I paid attention in class)

 

but also how to bring them up.

 

Edited April 5, 2012 by Jamesc

[Cars08]

I think, we need to recognise we are brought up differently and we are shaped by how our parents treated us to certain extend. I am guilty of shouting at my little ones when they are naughty... Sometimes, reasoning will not work especially if it is a danger act committed such as shifting my gear or holding on to my gear when I need to change it. I will slap if necessary to send a strong message across my kids that I cannot take such nonsense from them. Reasoning will only work well if kids are able to comprehend and have the cognitive ability to do that. I prefer reward and punish system as it is the most effective method. Explanation will be provided to my kids when they are able to understand what is coming out from my mouth. Otherwise, it will not be effective to reason with a 5 yrs and below kid. Also, we are only human and there are times where we cannot hold on to our anger over a situation. As parent, I will make a point to say sorry if I am in the wrong and explain if the child understands. At 3 yrs old, not easy to provide the kid with an explanation that he/she can comprehend....

 

 

 

 

[Relacklabrudder]

yeah , how u reason with 1.5 yr old???

 

u can tok but i think they will not understand the words. But yes, i think they recognise the tone of anger, danger and when u r serious.

 

when i scold my little one loud, though he dun understand, he knows we are angry and hr probably has disobeyed and will lower down his head or pursed his lips.

 

 

[Itsec]

yes....i will do that...

 

one person be a bad guy and 1 is a saint...

 

there are many dangerous act where they dont understand this is prohibited. Hence, shout and spanking kids or to the extend of using cane, are the best option..and yes, i cane my daughter as well..

 

 

[Curahee]

3 yrs old kid can talk reason meh? I think they r still far too young for that

[LoverofCar]

 

pressure...one word pressure..

[Jamesc]

3 yrs old kid can talk reason meh? I think they r still far too young for that

That depends on when your child started speaking.

 

So many 3 years old can be reasoned with.

 

Kids these days are developing so much faster

 

than their parents generation.

 

[Espresso]

I am guilty of shouting at my little ones when they are naughty... Sometimes, reasoning will not work especially if it is a danger act committed such as shifting my gear or holding on to my gear when I need to change it.

...............................

. At 3 yrs old, not easy to provide the kid with an explanation that he/she can comprehend....

 

Shouting once to catch the kid's attention is one thing...and maybe fine even...but shouting on and on and on...i don't know what purpose it serve.

 

I am able to successfully reason out with my kiddo from 2 years old onwards...even if I do scold (never shouting, just firm voice), I will explain why I scold. Of course my kiddo do throw temper at times (well my wife still do it at her age!!!) but I always make her repeat to me why it's important to do certain things when my kiddo has cool down. A lot of parents do not realise that kids nowadays are very smart, they do understand what you are saying even if they cant articulate properly.

 

We all need to learn to be extra patient...and I still tell my wife often..."You must learnt to be patient with the kiddo". A kid whose parent show patiences and communicate well with them will grow up very different from those who parents are prone to anger and shouting.

 

Just my opinion :)

Edited April 5, 2012 by Espresso

[Relacklabrudder]

i think boundaries has to be set and when boundaries are set, the kids will test the boundaries by doing the very thing they not allow and then cry when scolded or stopped

 

Now, the parents either uphold the boundaries so that the kids learn not to step over these boundaries or relent.

 

once u relent the kids will learn that boundaries set are not fix and can always be pushed by testing, it will be difficult to to teach the children next time, also it confuses the kids on what actually is a boundary of what is right and wrong.

 

 

 

i watch a show Nanny something and the mum learn from the expert that she has to be firm on the boundary.

 

The task was to put the boy to sleep in his own room.

 

The boy keep wanting to go to mother's room and the expert tell her each time he step out, just put him back, no need shout or scream. in the end, the mother gotta repeat the task almost 40x , the boy got tired and slept in his own room.

 

i learnt that and there was once my boy also in similar situation, told him not to get down from sofa as the floor is wet, in the end i gotta put him back to sofa 35x everytime he got down.

 

of cos, there will also be the use of cane. cane is not by strength but a tap on the palm to let them know they just cannot cross the boundary once it is set.

Edited April 5, 2012 by Relacklabrudder

[Espresso]

That depends on when your child started speaking.

 

So many 3 years old can be reasoned with.

 

Kids these days are developing so much faster

 

than their parents generation.

 

Yup agreed...my kiddo is smarter than me and started talking in proper complete sentences from 2 years old onwards.

[Hotamp]

I hope young parents here set a good example and do not resort to shouting. Yes it's important to firm, but you do not have to loud till the whole estate can hear you. It's counterproductive and it shows what lousy parents you are.

 

some parents just cannot think straight one la, they just let their anger dictates their action, if shouting loudly works like that must as well use a loud hailer lagi power right? haha . It is important to instill right actions and values into the child, but showing anger is just not a good example la....you show displeasure, use a firmer tone of voice to tell the kid that his actions is not acceptable, they will get the drift....last resort would be a short canning loh, a little canning wont die want la, otherwise i wont be here typing leow

[Roh96]

Which parent don't shout at their kids? Sometimes our patient will run out, especially after telling them again and again but they still repeat it.

 

I know some of my surrounding friends are doing 'Ai de jiao yu' on their kids. No cane, no beating, using the ang mo style of teaching kid. Me and my wife both think this method cannot work, so yeah i will use cane if needed.

[Throttle2]

3 yrs old kid can talk reason meh? I think they r still far too young for that

 

my elder girl, 5yr old now who was a 3yr old then , can simple-reason very well.

 

my second child who is 2 yr old now still cannot. i hope when she turns 3 she will be better.

 

[Throttle2]

Which parent don't shout at their kids? Sometimes our patient will run out, especially after telling them again and again but they still repeat it.

 

I know some of my surrounding friends are doing 'Ai de jiao yu' on their kids. No cane, no beating, using the ang mo style of teaching kid. Me and my wife both think this method cannot work, so yeah i will use cane if needed.

 

 

i think just raising the voice and changing the tone is different from real shouting.

 

real aggressive shouting is quite bad, it's the prelude to a very serious negative event.

 

 

[Espresso]

Which parent don't shout at their kids? Sometimes our patient will run out, especially after telling them again and again but they still repeat it.

 

I know some of my surrounding friends are doing 'Ai de jiao yu' on their kids. No cane, no beating, using the ang mo style of teaching kid. Me and my wife both think this method cannot work, so yeah i will use cane if needed.

 

I never raise my voice with my kiddo...not even once. And my kiddo belongs to the better behaved ones in school.

 

The kid learns about love, if you show love to the kid.

The kid learns about patience, if you show patience to the kid

The kid learns about compassion, if you show kindness to the kid

The kid learns about empathy, if you often put yourself in the shoes of your kid

The kid learns about respect, if you listen to what your kid has to say without brushing your kid off

 

I am not sure what the kid can learn from parents who are always shouting and shouting. Hmm loud loud win already?

 

 

[Mustank]

Of course it's none of my business, your kid your business...your kid, not my business.

 

But enough said, my heart ached a little when I saw 2 parents shouting very LOUDLY at a very very young kid who is at most 3 years old. Is this the correct way to teach a young little one? The father continued to shout loudly in the carpark and bang the door really loud and zzzzzooooooooooooooom off very fast.

 

I have a little one myself and YES, even little ones listen to reasonings. If you can't reason out with your little one, it's because you do not communicate much with your kid...and communication with little ones is very important in building logical thinking and reasoning skills.

 

I hope young parents here set a good example and do not resort to shouting. Yes it's important to firm, but you do not have to loud till the whole estate can hear you. It's counterproductive and it shows what lousy parents you are.

 

if your older kid bash your younger kid, will you shout?