Meeting of in laws

[Jman888]

still talking and asking ah!!

 

by now should be walking down the aisle liao

[Jj5599]

His formula is X+3. So for 33, it will be 36 yr old to be mother.

 

I forgot to add a variable..she has been married twice..so her next marriage is her third..

[Icebrush79]

excatly. we were dating for 3 mths before being together. it gets a little tricky cos my gf is obviously smart, she is keeping quiet and taking a neutral stand over the whole thing to see how i am gonna react. on the other hand, i do not want to loose favor with her cos she's quite sought after as well.

 

Ahhh dude, after one full day of contemplation, any outcome yet??

Actually it might be a harmless meeting afterall. Perhaps her parents just wanted to be sure that their daughter is not dating some weird guy... or some laidback losers, you know what I mean.

 

Afterall, you did mention that she's highly sought after and her folks just don't wish to see her shortchanged....

 

Go for it man!! you can handle the situation, im sure....

[Deucedude]

Bro...if you may, allow me to make some generalization...

 

Your gf is 30 years old. If I am the father, this will run through my head:

 

1. daughter 30 yrs old.

2. Date another 6 months before proposal. 30.5 years old.

3. 6 months to prepare for wedding. 31 years old.

4. Enjoy honeymoon period for 1 year. 32 years old

5. Make babies. Try for 6 months. 33 years old.

6. Baby born. 33-34 years old.

 

So you see, if I am the father...I will know it for a fact that if I want my daughter to have a 'normal marriage and motherhood', there is NO MORE TIME TO WASTE. There is no time to date for a yr plus and then decide if this will end up in marriage or not. It's either can or cannot...move ahead or move on.

 

The girl obviously likes you and think that she is contented enough to end up with someone like you. Good guys who are slightly older than her are mostly taken up. So you're the one...even if she doesn't tell you that.

 

The pro is...her CPF is probably solid. You can skip the HDB route and get a condo straight. Her CPF plus your shld be enough for the 20%. Being in the job market for 3 years more than you, she probably seen more also.

 

The cons...she will probably be more assertive as the r/s grow in strength. If you are looking for a yes-woman-who-look-at-you-with-admiring-eyes, you won't find it in her.

 

So you see bro, it's a simple dinner yes...but if all goes well, your next 4-5 years is well mapped out.

 

 

 

ON THE OTHER HAND, you can date someone younger...say 27-28 years old. The girl is still not too old and not in so much of a hurry. You and her will have more chance to PLAN THINGS TOGETHER.

 

 

So to go for dinner or not? I say just go, give your current gf a chance. Go with an open mind. If you don't think you can get along with her parents (and this is very very important...lotsa marriage failed because cant get along with in-laws), then drop her QUICK. You don't want to delay her...but you also do not want to be caught in an underlying current and get drifted along without the chance to decide which way is best for you.

 

Wow bro, thanks for sharing your views. Appreciate appreciate.

 

Yes, of course I understand the stand point of the parents, gf is not young, but I also do not want to rush into things at this point of time

[Donut]

Wow bro, thanks for sharing your views. Appreciate appreciate.

 

Yes, of course I understand the stand point of the parents, gf is not young, but I also do not want to rush into things at this point of time

[Deucedude]

Ahhh dude, after one full day of contemplation, any outcome yet??

Actually it might be a harmless meeting afterall. Perhaps her parents just wanted to be sure that their daughter is not dating some weird guy... or some laidback losers, you know what I mean.

 

Afterall, you did mention that she's highly sought after and her folks just don't wish to see her shortchanged....

 

Go for it man!! you can handle the situation, im sure....

 

Haha thanks for the concern bro, I will probably take donut

[Deucedude]

oh, so u are in the IT line... no wonder lah!!!

 

anyway, just go with your comfort level and enjoy the process lah....

 

don't think too much.

 

haha, i am an IT consultant, but we present solutions based on facts, unlike marketeers which are good in goreng!!

[Espresso]

haha, i am an IT consultant, but we present solutions based on facts, unlike marketeers which are good in goreng!!

 

Hehe just answer like this..."Sir I don't have answers to most of your questions. I know those are important questions for you. I am sorry I can't give you the answers you want today. I want you to know however, that I love your daughter very dearly. When I look into your daughter's eyes, I see forever. I see a version of myself many times better than the person that I am today, simply because your daughter brings out the best in me. She makes me want to be a better person, to be person I was meant to be. And I will love her all the more for loving me today, when I am but a shadow of the man whose shoes I will fill up one day."

[Deucedude]

Hehe just answer like this..."Sir I don't have answers to most of your questions. I know those are important questions for you. I am sorry I can't give you the answers you want today. I want you to know however, that I love your daughter very dearly. When I look into your daughter's eyes, I see forever. I see a version of myself many times better than the person that I am today, simply because your daughter brings out the best in me. She makes me want to be a better person, to be person I was meant to be. And I will love her all the more for loving me today, when I am but a shadow of the man whose shoes I will fill up one day."

 

wow..good one bro!!

but i think i will skip that, dont wanna end up with starters, main courses, desert and wine all over me!!

[Espresso]

wow..good one bro!!

but i think i will skip that, dont wanna end up with starters, main courses, desert and wine all over me!!

Just kidding bro. Just go enjoy your dinner with them. You are young and there's a whole life ahead of you. No venture no gain.

 

And your gf should be a smart one. If she is asking you to meet her parents, she should already know you have passed the test. You are worrying too much. What is the worse that can happen? The parents hate the very sight of you....then she's only been ur gf for 2 weeks...the emotional investment can still be retrieved.

 

I once love someone for nearly a decade when i was in my 20s...when it was over, I never recover from that. You however my friend, you have no emotional baggage. Nothing can possibly go so wrong that you can't just walk away from.

[Jj5599]

Only been your gf for 2 weeks and to meet parents?

 

Utter madness...don't go .. You would most likely be end up in statistics in 3 years time..

[2009k]

Wow bro, thanks for sharing your views. Appreciate appreciate.

 

Yes, of course I understand the stand point of the parents, gf is not young, but I also do not want to rush into things at this point of time

[Poker]

it's just a simple meal (if you see it that way) ;) nothing to lose! let them find out more about you while you can do the same. go for meal =/= signing on dotted line:)

[Jj5599]

Wow bro, thanks for sharing your views. Appreciate appreciate.

 

Yes, of course I understand the stand point of the parents, gf is not young, but I also do not want to rush into things at this point of time

[Deucedude]

Bro..usually if 30 yo woman haven't married..she usually has some problems with her character..maybe temper no good..no softskills..no communication skills....no problem solving skills..too sticky..etc..

 

haha, i think i know, too choosy, not saying im good of course, fiesty, im fine with this and more likely too outspoken at times.

[Deucedude]

Why lie? Just be yourself and be true to her and her family. If they can't accept you for being yourself, then it's also wiser and better to move on and let her find her happiness elsewhere since she is 30 right?

 

You can do the night time send her back kind of meet-the-parent session. Am sure you won't get much question and the chit chat will be kept short since it's in the night; just bloody make sure the next day is not public holiday or weekend!

 

Best of luck, go meet the parents!

 

thanks bro, but i have chosen not to at this stage. im not lying bcos i have something to hide, more so bcos when they raise sensitive issues, i will have to peak my mind and i anticipate this will upset them.

[Heng51]

Maybe they just need another player to play mahjong together... joking..

[Deucedude]

Just kidding bro. Just go enjoy your dinner with them. You are young and there's a whole life ahead of you. No venture no gain.

 

And your gf should be a smart one. If she is asking you to meet her parents, she should already know you have passed the test. You are worrying too much. What is the worse that can happen? The parents hate the very sight of you....then she's only been ur gf for 2 weeks...the emotional investment can still be retrieved.

 

I once love someone for nearly a decade when i was in my 20s...when it was over, I never recover from that. You however my friend, you have no emotional baggage. Nothing can possibly go so wrong that you can't just walk away from.

 

Thanks for your comments, I know im paranoid, actually I have nothing to loose by meeting up, but still choose not to at this point of time. Maybe in a month or 2s time when I start getting to know her better over time. Wow, your experience must be painful now, attached now? If you dun mind sharing.