Typhoonz 4th Gear September 22, 2014 Share September 22, 2014 On 9/22/2014 at 11:41 AM, F355 said: Kids look up to their dads as heroes. If your dad is still around , spend more time with him. If he's no longer around , dedicate this song to him My dad used to be my hero... My mum always told me that if I spoilt anything, I will run to my dad and he will be able to fix it... ↡ Advertisement Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spring Moderator September 22, 2014 Share September 22, 2014 On 9/22/2014 at 11:24 AM, Typhoonz said: My temper always gets the worse of me during these times... Always tell myself to take a deep breath before scolding my kids but every time also forget... Scold already then regret and start to feel bad... Machiam like when I'm young... Do dumb things and get into trouble then regret... I resolute to hold my temper for 20 seconds before I scold my kids... Perhaps after 20 seconds I might not even scold them but tell them firmly... Let's see how things goes... Ok good luck then! At least u r honest enough to know your weaknesses n more importantly willing to correct it. It's definitely easier said than done but when there's a will there's a way! 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Typhoonz 4th Gear September 22, 2014 Share September 22, 2014 On 9/22/2014 at 12:06 PM, Spring said: Ok good luck then! At least u r honest enough to know your weaknesses n more importantly willing to correct it. It's definitely easier said than done but when there's a will there's a way! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lala81 Hypersonic September 22, 2014 Share September 22, 2014 yeah your own kids can really get under your skin... had to smack my 2 yr old girl's bum or thigh a few times during my holiday when she throwing a long tantrum... Refusing to sit in airplane seat during take off/landing. Refusing to be carried by me when walking long distances when my wife too tired to carry her further. my girl can really be stubborn like a mule. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atonchia Supersonic September 22, 2014 Share September 22, 2014 On 9/22/2014 at 8:57 AM, Lala81 said: say easy. hard to do in real life. I know this, but i find it not easy to implement. There's always time pressure. Not easy to cajole a kid to try harder also sometimes. I'm not good at soft approach ha The main message the article is To use positive reinforcement on the kids, praise them not on their results but the hardwork require to reach a good result. So they will grow up to understand that they attained the results throught effort and not because they are 'smart'. Our emphasis is too much on the results and we like to say," You are a smart kid" The right method is to reinforce the effort and time spent to attain something. The tough parenting part is still required as a balance approach. On 9/22/2014 at 2:47 PM, Lala81 said: yeah your own kids can really get under your skin... had to smack my 2 yr old girl's bum or thigh a few times during my holiday when she throwing a long tantrum... Refusing to sit in airplane seat during take off/landing. Refusing to be carried by me when walking long distances when my wife too tired to carry her further. my girl can really be stubborn like a mule. My girl 16mths already showing that trait too. Very insistent..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jman888 Moderator September 22, 2014 Share September 22, 2014 On 9/22/2014 at 10:13 AM, Ktglfc said: Sometimes, when we have our own family and have our own home, we tend to neglect our parents who are not staying with us... we tend to visit them, maybe once or twice a week, and only shower them the love and concern at that time... and we will come out with excuse that we have our own family to deal and love with... What our parents want is just some calls to them and have a nice chat with them... have we done this? Have I done this too? ..... Actually it is better this way, giving each other room and space to live each other live. Some time it could do more harm than good if the priority was wrong. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronleo 6th Gear September 22, 2014 Share September 22, 2014 On 9/22/2014 at 11:24 AM, Typhoonz said: My temper always gets the worse of me during these times... Always tell myself to take a deep breath before scolding my kids but every time also forget... Scold already then regret and start to feel bad... Machiam like when I'm young... Do dumb things and get into trouble then regret... I resolute to hold my temper for 20 seconds before I scold my kids... Perhaps after 20 seconds I might not even scold them but tell them firmly... Let's see how things goes... Same here... Fully understand how u feel bad after the scolding session. Especially the chest become so "men"... Try this, it does help... Thou I must admit, sometime I still blow my top off! :( INVADE YOUR CHILD'S SPACE If your child isn't listening and you're ready to yell, get nose to nose with your child and gently put one hand on either side of your child's head, forcing him to look directly into your eyes. Then tell him what he needs to hear -- without shouting. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronleo 6th Gear September 22, 2014 Share September 22, 2014 On 9/22/2014 at 2:47 PM, Lala81 said: yeah your own kids can really get under your skin... had to smack my 2 yr old girl's bum or thigh a few times during my holiday when she throwing a long tantrum... Refusing to sit in airplane seat during take off/landing. Refusing to be carried by me when walking long distances when my wife too tired to carry her further. my girl can really be stubborn like a mule. I stand by your decision with the smacking thigh when kids are whining... ALMOST wanted to throw my FIL and MIL down the plane during one recent holiday trip.... 子不教、父之裹！ 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jman888 Moderator September 23, 2014 Share September 23, 2014 On 9/22/2014 at 4:01 PM, Ronleo said: I stand by your decision with the smacking thigh when kids are whining... ALMOST wanted to throw my FIL and MIL down the plane during one recent holiday trip.... 子不教、父之裹！ [laugh] with or without parachute? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Typhoonz 4th Gear September 23, 2014 Share September 23, 2014 On 9/23/2014 at 12:04 AM, Jman888 said: [laugh] with or without parachute? Without of course... On 9/22/2014 at 3:54 PM, Ronleo said: Same here... Fully understand how u feel bad after the scolding session. Especially the chest become so "men"... Try this, it does help... Thou I must admit, sometime I still blow my top off! :( INVADE YOUR CHILD'S SPACE If your child isn't listening and you're ready to yell, get nose to nose with your child and gently put one hand on either side of your child's head, forcing him to look directly into your eyes. Then tell him what he needs to hear -- without shouting. I would do that to my son but with 1 hand... Turn his head and stare into his eyes... :angry: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whathefish 5th Gear September 23, 2014 Share September 23, 2014 On 9/22/2014 at 4:01 PM, Ronleo said: I stand by your decision with the smacking thigh when kids are whining... ALMOST wanted to throw my FIL and MIL down the plane during one recent holiday trip.... 子不教、父之裹！ should try to use cane. use hand...might accidentally injure the kid. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spring Moderator September 23, 2014 Share September 23, 2014 On 9/22/2014 at 4:01 PM, Ronleo said: I stand by your decision with the smacking thigh when kids are whining... ALMOST wanted to throw my FIL and MIL down the plane during one recent holiday trip.... 子不教、父之裹！ Steady bro!! But it's true, even the most patient of people will have their limits tested when your own kids misbehave and not helped by good intentioned but obviously interfering parents/in-laws! Only consolation I can say is we are all in the same boat haha!! 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidOh 5th Gear September 23, 2014 Share September 23, 2014 speaking from personal experience it is easier said than done that said, children are actually a piece of white paper and they learn n follow what they see n teach by us in short, sad to say but our children are a reflect of us 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxus-MIFA9 Supersonic September 23, 2014 Author Share September 23, 2014 (edited) Sometimes because of our past experience, we tend not to repeat them to our own child which I think we are in the wrong or influence too much by Western thoughts. (see how Western kids did, I also , not happy, bring guns to school & shoot) I had witness one culture group thats treats 'son' as the most important in the house and give in to whatever his request. Don't feel like going to school just because overslept, both parents support, no need to go. To one extreme that the 'son' punch his parents and the parents LLST.... But come to think of it, how our parents treated us in the past had build us a better person now. Its those who show too much affections and 'love' to our kids that in actual facts, spoiling them by giving in to them for whatever request. Discipline begins at home and not in public and if ones need to discipline in public, alarm bell had started to ring leow .... I brought up my kids as what my parents did to me. Now I have no regrets cos now as they are in working adults, they are well mannered and have self discipline. Smacking or scolding in public is no no for me but once return home, they will be disciplined and explained why they can't do that just now. That's how I brought up my kids.... Edited September 23, 2014 by Picnic06 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spring Moderator September 23, 2014 Share September 23, 2014 On 9/22/2014 at 2:47 PM, Lala81 said: yeah your own kids can really get under your skin... had to smack my 2 yr old girl's bum or thigh a few times during my holiday when she throwing a long tantrum... Refusing to sit in airplane seat during take off/landing. Refusing to be carried by me when walking long distances when my wife too tired to carry her further. my girl can really be stubborn like a mule. Years back, I used to say the same about my daughter being stubborn and my family said "like you lah". I tiam tiam after that haha!!! 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lala81 Hypersonic September 23, 2014 Share September 23, 2014 Thanks for advice uncle picnic On 9/23/2014 at 1:41 AM, Picnic06 said: Sometimes because of our past experience, we tend not to repeat them to our own child which I think we are in the wrong or influence too much by Western thoughts. (see how Western kids did, I also , not happy, bring guns to school & shoot) I had witness one culture group thats treats 'son' as the most important in the house and give in to whatever his request. Don't feel like going to school just because overslept, both parents support, no need to go. To one extreme that the 'son' punch his parents and the parents LLST.... But come to think of it, how our parents treated us in the past had build us a better person now. Its those who show too much affections and 'love' to our kids that in actual facts, spoiling them by giving in to them for whatever request. Discipline begins at home and not in public and if ones need to discipline in public, alarm bell had started to ring leow .... I brought up my kids as what my parents did to me. Now I have no regrets cos now as they are in working adults, they are well mannered and have self discipline. Smacking or scolding in public is no no for me but once return home, they will be disciplined and explained why they can't do that just now. That's how I brought up my kids.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronleo 6th Gear September 23, 2014 Share September 23, 2014 On 9/23/2014 at 12:04 AM, Jman888 said: [laugh] with or without parachute? Hmmm... Interesting suggestion. Hahaha!!! On 9/23/2014 at 12:51 AM, Typhoonz said: Without of course... I would do that to my son but with 1 hand... Turn his head and stare into his eyes... :angry: Turn his head and juz stare into eye can liao? Or u will warn him at the same time? Guess u should be quite efficient with the "daddy's killer stare" as well... ;) 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronleo 6th Gear September 23, 2014 Share September 23, 2014 On 9/23/2014 at 12:59 AM, Whathefish said: should try to use cane. use hand...might accidentally injure the kid. On the contrary, I prefer a smack on the thigh instead... Using the cane, can't gauge the strength... Try it once and it's all history liao... IMO, whatever form of physical punishment melted out by dads are not to inflict severe pain on kids, more of a "hey! Watch it!" Well... To each his own. On 9/23/2014 at 1:22 AM, Spring said: Steady bro!! But it's true, even the most patient of people will have their limits tested when your own kids misbehave and not helped by good intentioned but obviously interfering parents/in-laws! Only consolation I can say is we are all in the same boat haha!! Glad to know tat I am not alone.... :) Who old are your kids? ↡ Advertisement Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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