Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

[Blueblack]

hmmm, a sharp tongue lawyer prying about her racial excellence ... wonder her deceased murdered aunt was also like tat.

[Trex101]

You are another chap who try to "reason" with kids when they are just ...well kids. In the first place, what do kids know about "reasoning"?

 

I don't see anything wrong trying to be strict and disciplinary to a kid when they are young. Trying to force the "will" in terms of academic achievement is a good thing. Kids cannot tell what is right or wrong for them when they are young. It is up to the parents to force the correct behaviour or skillset into them.

 

All this reasoning and respect with kids when they are young has resulted in all the wimpy youth thesedays. So they form gangs to hide their wimpiness.

 

Oh then good on you, i hope you whip your kids like a train dog to do all your bidding and realise all your dreams that you yourself can't achieve.

[Jman888]

You are another chap who try to "reason" with kids when they are just ...well kids. In the first place, what do kids know about "reasoning"?

 

I don't see anything wrong trying to be strict and disciplinary to a kid when they are young. Trying to force the "will" in terms of academic achievement is a good thing. Kids cannot tell what is right or wrong for them when they are young. It is up to the parents to force the correct behaviour or skillset into them.

 

All this reasoning and respect with kids when they are young has resulted in all the wimpy youth thesedays. So they form gangs to hide their wimpiness.

 

 

like i mentioned, you are probably the 20% who live to tell their success story and credit the parents.... it also mean that you are obedience, able to come to sense and benefit from the 'system'....

 

but many who under those system can also end up in the street joining the gang, different is they maybe the ah tao and not the ka kia....

Edited January 12, 2011 by Jman888

[Topaz]

A bit of an extreme, but i agree to most part of it.

[Karoon]

hmmm, a sharp tongue lawyer prying about her racial excellence ... wonder her deceased murdered aunt was also like tat.

 

seriously? who killed her aunt? her aunt's kids?

 

[Pokyman]

I agree on the discipline part on young kids. Like my 2.5yr old, he would not really understand why he cannot keep playing with the tap and telling him wasting water dries up our reservoir and waste of money is a big DUH .... I think by scolding or threatening with a cane and later telling him not to do so is a better way, as at that age, i think they would not understand what you are brining across ..

 

I believe in giving options when they are growing up, as in letting them go for violin, drama classes, etc and not force them to. If tjey like, go ahead, i 'll pay for the lessons. If they do not enjoy, why force them? I think its not right forcing kids to live your dream, they should live their own dreams. Of course as parents, we should guide them along the way and show our support.

 

my 2 cents.

[Hypermiler]

I have to agree up to a certain degree. I was brought up pretty much the 'traditional' chinese way. Practise piano and study all day long. At most, i get about 30mins of TV time during dinner. Must sleep by 10pm and wake up early in the morning. And boy, i was a really unhappy person, until secondary 3, when all hell break loose and my brain sort of went haywire out.

 

After that, my parents gave me some slack and i return to studying. Scored above average in my O levels, went to SP, get my Diploma and now, in my final semester in NUS with 2 potential job offers waiting for me the moment i graduate. Although i am far from a scholar, but i can confirm that i won't go this far if they didn't cut the slack, furthermore, i'm now a much happier person.

 

 

Experienced a similar childhood like you. Unhappy and moody in my school days.

 

[Scion]

funny her ang moh hubby agrees with her teaching methods?

 

anyway to scold children as garbage is bit extreme...

 

guess it's better to strike a balance in the teaching methods

 

too lax also cannot lah.. not to the extent of US parents allowing their teenagers to smoke marijuana..

 

 

A book by a Chinese-American woman about her no-nonsense child-rearing has sparked an online flurry of criticism and debate over strict "Chinese" parenting methods versus more relaxed Western ways.

 

In "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother," Yale University law professor Amy Chua recounts the ultra-strict regime of piano lessons and homework favoured by some Asian immigrant families in the United States as the key to future success.

 

Links to an excerpt published this month in the Wall Street Journal have been shared countless times on Facebook and Twitter, triggering a debate over cultural values at a time of concern in the West about falling behind China.

 

Chua, who says she has received death threats via email, has defended herself in subsequent media interviews, saying the excerpt did not include later passages on how she learned to strike a softer balance in her parenting.

 

"There are death threats. And, 'Go back to China, you abusive monster.' It's much more overwhelming than I thought it would be," Chua told Newsweek magazine.

 

In the book, Chua, who was born and raised in the United States to ethnic Chinese parents who emigrated from the Philippines, tells how she and her husband elected to raise their two daughters the "Chinese" way.

 

That meant heavy pressure for nothing less than top school marks, no sleep-overs or watching television, and mandatory piano or violin study.

 

In one incident, she makes one of her daughters stand out in the cold for falling short on piano practice, while in another she tells guests at a dinner party how she once called her daughter "garbage" -- shocking the room.

 

In the book excerpt published by the Wall Street Journal, Chua says for "Chinese" parents, "the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child".

 

"All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that," she writes.

 

Reactions have been vicious, with Chua being called a "monster" and "Mommie Dearest" -- a reference to late movie star and accused child-abuser Joan Crawford. On Facebook, a "community" account called "Amy Chua Article Fail" has been set up, drawing mostly negative comments against Chua from users.

 

There has been comparatively little comment so far in China, where children study intensely for make-or-break exams to enter high school and college. A Mandarin version of the book has only just been released.

 

Lao Kaisheng, an education professor at Capital Normal University in Beijing, said the book could eventually strike a chord in China where parenting for many is in a state of flux as society transforms.

 

China's so-called "one-child policy" has created a generation of only children widely viewed as spoiled, but rising competition in a more market-based economy has upped the pressure, he told AFP.

 

"In the cities, conditions are better but the pressure is also greater now. The extended family of parents and grandparents now pins all of its hopes on one child," Lao said.

 

"In the past, parents were more tolerant of bad grades."

 

Chinese Internet users both lauded Chua's commitment to pushing her children -- and criticised her for going too far.

 

"It is incorrect to call these 'Chinese' parenting methods," said tangshihuang, a user of the micro-blog service of top portal Sina.com.

 

"I am a parent. You must ensure a good future for your children but throughout Chinese history the concept of balance has also been important. China is evolving and it may no longer be accurate to apply the 'Chinese' tag as before."

 

-AFP/jl

[Viceroymenthol]

Like my 2.5yr old, he would not really understand why he cannot keep playing with the tap and telling him wasting water dries up our reservoir and waste of money is a big DUH ....

 

10 years later you must remember to explain to him why cannot keep playing with his tap and wasting his water and drying up his reservoir... but AHA! can save money.....

[Karoon]

funny her ang moh hubby agrees with her teaching methods?

 

anyway to scold children as garbage is bit extreme...

 

guess it's better to strike a balance in the teaching methods

 

too lax also cannot lah.. not to the extent of US parents allowing their teenagers to smoke marijuana..

 

her husband is jewish. some jews can be very ON too