Do you fear eating alone in public?

[Ahtong]

Campaign message to chew on: OK to eat alone

NUS undergrads start Facebook campaign to tackle fear of dining solo

By Melissa Lin

 

ON DAYS when National University of Singapore (NUS) psychology major Agapera Chor cannot find a friend to eat with, she will just skip a meal or buy a sandwich and eat on the go.

 

She has never eaten alone in the canteen in her three years at the university. 'I find it uncomfortable eating alone,' said the 21-year-old.

 

Ms Chor is hardly the only one who shuns having a meal alone on campus. The phenomenon is so pervasive that there is even a name for it: solomangarephobia, or the fear of eating alone.

 

NUS undergraduates Heng Choon Peng and Jude Alphonsus Tan, both 24, and Sonia Oh Ting Wen, 20, found this sentiment so prevalent on their campus that they set up a campaign - 'Eating alone in the school canteen' - on social networking site Facebook, to raise awareness of this fear and encourage fellow students to look past the stigma.

 

Their aim is for at least 100 students to each wear a T-shirt with the words 'I dare to eat alone' on it and dine alone at any of the university's canteens on Jan 19. Each T-shirt costs $8.

 

'We want to make a statement that people who eat alone are not geeks or losers,' said Mr Tan, a final-year student from the School of Engineering.

 

The idea for the campaign came about after Mr Heng noticed that he had to accompany friends for meals because they felt too shy to eat alone. He claimed to have received weird looks whenever he had solo meals in the canteens.

 

'We wanted to provide people who are afraid of eating alone a platform to try eating alone, and also to let them know that eating alone is not as frightening as they think.

 

'After all, you wouldn't know that unless you try it yourself,' the final-year psychology major said.

 

In a poll of 150 students from NUS, Nanyang Technological University (NTU) and Singapore Management University (SMU), about half of the respondents from each institution said they try not to eat alone if they can help it.

 

SMU first-year accountancy student Lee Min Ying was one of those who said they were not concerned about eating meals alone.

 

Ms Lee, 19, said: 'You just have to take them alone if you don't know anyone. It's fine and more practical. I don't see the point in seeking company.'

 

Several students polled were also not aware that eating alone was an issue to be concerned about.

 

One of them, Ms Lim Yan Han, a third-year NUS psychology major, eats alone on campus once a week as she feels it is more convenient to do so.

 

'I didn't think there was a stigma attached to it. People have various reasons for eating alone, so I don't think it's right to judge them.

 

'Some people have CCAs or lessons that end at odd timings like 4pm, and it's not lunch hour so they have no one to eat with,' the 21-year-old said.

 

However, the fear of eating alone does exist and there is a valid reason for it, said Dr Ang Yong Guan, a consultant psychiatrist at Paragon Medical Centre.

 

'Certainly, more people are afraid of eating alone than those who are not. If you eat alone, you give the impression that you have no friends; you are lonely, isolated and basically it is a negative impression created,' he said.

 

He added: 'Sometimes you may prefer some solitude or need to spend some time alone to reflect, or you are simply not in the mood to interact.

 

'But seeing someone alone does not mean that the person is lonely or has a problem.'

 

Dr Ang, 55, feels that how concerned one is with eating alone depends on his or her level of emotional maturity.

 

Said Dr Ang: 'It takes a lot of maturity to say that 'I don't care, I am not bothered by what people say of me'.

 

'The more mature you are, the more comfortable you are with eating alone.'

 

So far, more than 30 people have ordered the T-shirts for the campaign, while more than 120 people have indicated on Facebook that they will take part in the event.

 

But the campaign has also drawn some flak from students who asked if it would encourage anti-social behaviour.

 

In response, Mr Heng said: 'The event is not about promoting isolation, but raising awareness that it is OK to eat alone. Otherwise, it would have been an 'I love to eat alone' rather than 'I dare to eat alone' campaign.'

 

When contacted, an NUS spokesman said: 'The 'Eating alone in the school canteen' campaign exemplifies the creative and community spirit that can be found in our students.'

 

[email protected]

 

Additional reporting by Goh Kai Shi, Lim Yi Han and Neo Wen Tong

 

RAISING AWARENESS

 

'The event is not about promoting isolation, but raising awareness that it is OK to eat alone. Otherwise it would have been an 'I love to eat alone' rather than 'I dare to eat alone' campaign'.

 

NUS undergraduate Heng Choon Peng

Edited January 7, 2011 by Ahtong

[Csnewbie]

its better to eat with a girl like your avatar.

[Mockngbrd]

*fixed it for you*

 

The phenomenon is so pervasive that there is even a name for it: losers

[Maxus-MIFA9]

I always eat alone and hoping that some with ( . )( . ) & low cut would share my table .......

Edited January 7, 2011 by Picnic06

[Porker]

Who has such a farked name as Agapera?

[Ahtong]

I always eat alone and hoping that some with ( . )( . ) & low cut would share my table .......

 

Happened to me before. I was having tea by myself in the canteen when this sweet smelling with low cut and (.)(.) asked if she could share table. I said ok, she sat down and starting asking me to sign up for credit card .....

[Csnewbie]

I always eat alone and hoping that some with ( . )( . ) & low cut would share my table .......

 

you are contemplating free milk arh.

[Mockngbrd]

Happened to me before. I was having tea by myself in the canteen when this sweet smelling with low cut and (.)(.) asked if she could share table. I said ok, she sat down and starting asking me to sign up for credit card .....

 

got ask her whats the damage?

[Maxus-MIFA9]

Happened to me before. I was having tea by myself in the canteen when this sweet smelling with low cut and (.)(.) asked if she could share table. I said ok, she sat down and starting asking me to sign up for credit card .....

Play along with her lor.....

 

later when filling in the part on income, put at the lowest (min $30,000 per annum) like $18,000/-, she will not pester you again .....

[TandemAssassin]

What's wrong with eating alone?

 

Although I prefer to pack home rather than eat out alone but in Uni I do that all the time. Especially in upper years where you may take electives different from your friends. Wait for them to end class when I am hungry? No thanks. I'd rather eat alone first.

 

Stomach more important than sociability.

[Mike1234]

you are contemplating free milk arh.

 

 

:wub:

[Ahtong]

When the asked to share table, I already suspected something because the canteen was quite empty and I don't look like a movie star.

 

I just said no thanks when she started her sales pitch and continued eating.

 

The was quite speechless. I think it's the first time her chio bu charm failed so miserably before.

Edited January 7, 2011 by Ahtong

[Sk65]

like i dun like to watch movie alone

same la

 

 

but sometimes i bo bian

wait for wife at her office

got to eat alone cos wait until hungry

[Seaweed]

I think they eat by themself liao then too free nothing to do !!!! wah lao eh....this kind thing also can become news ??? I suggest them to start a campaign for those who love to eat alone and encourage them to join others for meals....

 

I will buy a t-shirt from them for that because I love to eat alone during working days when situation permits..."there is already enough gossips and people still want to cook up more during lunch"....wow...leave me out....I love lonely lunch....

[Jman888]

eat alone mean 吃自己？

[Csnewbie]

:wub:

 

 

no good......noo good.

[Freestylers09]

Eat alone is so scary to be feared?

 

i sleep,pee,PS alone also not scary...

 

but i heard sleep with another one beside u is more scary

Edited January 7, 2011 by Freestylers09

[RadX]

i only work alone....nobody want to work with me [bigcry] [bigcry]