Need advice - take care of old folks

[Bluepica]

My buddy's dad was diagnosed with a 6.1cm lump in his easophagus, when he suddenly unable to eat or even sip water last week. Then he faced shortness of breath and was admitted to hospital for a week. The shortness of breath was due to the food particle and water diverted into the lung and cos lungs infection cos the lump was blocking up the whole aesophagus and he had to be on feeding tube. After a week in Hospital, the dad feel frustrated cos he dunno what's going on and till he gets fedup and want the feeding tube to be remove and go home. he also refuse to listen to doctor's advice. Because he is still fully conscious and agile, doc says we must respect his decision. Thus my buddy bring him home. His dad can "go" anytime at home cos doc says he is very high risk of getting choke because of the lump. Thus his mum is very scare if thats happened. Both my buddy and his brother left home early morning for work and will be home only at night. His mum also work in the morning few hours and back watch over him. But his mum very concern to be left alone with the dad, because she might be stressfull and unsure what to do if something happen to the dad when only both of them ard. Moreover, when the mum go to work in the morning, the dad will be left alone at home.

Getting a day care nurse is very very ex for him...ard $150 daily for 4 hrs.

Other than dat, what can my buddy do to find a helper for the mum to looks after the dad?

Any suggestions are much appreciated.

 

The dad is 81.

[Robo]

imo best is to ask the mum to stay at home. i mean the dad is 81, mum couldnt be much younger.

 

best to stay at home

[Icedbs]

how about getting a maid ?

[Tedlhw]

  On 11/29/2010 at 1:58 AM, Bluepica said:

My buddy's dad was diagnosed with a 6.1cm lump in his easophagus, when he suddenly unable to eat or even sip water last week. Then he faced shortness of breath and was admitted to hospital for a week. The shortness of breath was due to the food particle and water diverted into the lung and cos lungs infection cos the lump was blocking up the whole aesophagus and he had to be on feeding tube. After a week in Hospital, the dad feel frustrated cos he dunno what's going on and till he gets fedup and want the feeding tube to be remove and go home. he also refuse to listen to doctor's advice. Because he is still fully conscious and agile, doc says we must respect his decision. Thus my buddy bring him home. His dad can "go" anytime at home cos doc says he is very high risk of getting choke because of the lump. Thus his mum is very scare if thats happened. Both my buddy and his brother left home early morning for work and will be home only at night. His mum also work in the morning few hours and back watch over him. But his mum very concern to be left alone with the dad, because she might be stressfull and unsure what to do if something happen to the dad when only both of them ard. Moreover, when the mum go to work in the morning, the dad will be left alone at home.

Getting a day care nurse is very very ex for him...ard $150 daily for 4 hrs.

Other than dat, what can my buddy do to find a helper for the mum to looks after the dad?

Any suggestions are much appreciated.

 

The dad is 81.

 

Try those day care hospice, it cost me like approx 3K a month a few years back if my memory does not fail me. I remember day care nurse is much more expensive than the 150 per day that you quote. More like 200-300 per full day or something.

[Tedlhw]

  On 11/29/2010 at 2:07 AM, Icedbs said:

how about getting a maid ?

Maid not that great an idea, cos they need specialised training for tube feeding.

[Icedbs]

  On 11/29/2010 at 2:11 AM, Tedlhw said:

Maid not that great an idea, cos they need specialised training for tube feeding.

 

But assuming the mother can do it (and she should be quite old as well), then the maid can be trained to do it right?

 

Sending to the community hospital can be an option, but it seems that the TS buddy's dad doesn't like to stay in the hospital.

 

So external care seems out. Internal care with a trained nurse can be really expensive.

 

So not much choice really.

 

 

[Bluesky76]

If i am correct, the nurse can train the maid for tube feeding.

 

My grandfather was having the same issue and the doctor did suggest that as well but eventually was xfer to hospice as doctor feels he cannot get pass within 1-2 months.

 

Take care as this type of case it's cannot be cure already which i believed you know. Try your best to spend as much time with him. It will be mostly the infection that will get to him not the cancer.

[Bluepica]

The mum is only late 50 :p

 

The dad is stubborn and still big ego as his age, thus hospice or old folks home is a no no. And the family is not rich...

Feeding tube remove, he insist he can slowly eat, which is now ok. Even in hospital, the doc refuse to remove the feeding tube cos they dun wanna take risk, and even if he choke, they said they will not resuscitate him cos it will make him suffer even more.

 

I think now the mum is afraid dunno what to do what if really one day the dad choke and died in front of her... my buddy afraid his mum will be traumatize.

 

really can find better solution :(

[SGCMmaomao]

how about u do a little postin on paper or neighbourhood notice board, seeking for helper.. so aunties very free at home willing to help to take care of ur frens sick father? u ad ur price up front, those who kind hearted will call de...

[SGCMmaomao]

how about u do a little postin on paper or neighbourhood notice board, seeking for helper.. so aunties very free at home willing to help to take care of ur frens sick father? u ad ur price up front, those who kind hearted will call de...

[Byond]

stay inside hospital is still the best until recover....

 

unless he wants to be admitted to nursing home?

since on feeding tube and still able to walk, i think the charges will be less than 1000 per month...

 

Maid, hard to fully trained until medically inclined.

 

[Bluepica]

My buddy new home is ready for move in, but the mum do not want to move in first cos she afraid later the dad in the home, then she will be afraid to stay there, cos most of the time she will be alone at home. I guess the dad wanted to have a look at the new home and the mum try to deter him. That is sad :( Right now, they staying at 2-room rented HDB. My buddy also dunno what to do now.... is like they r waiting for the dad to before moving in :(

[Gearoil]

MiniStar Khaw will tell you to send these old folks to JB old folks home!

 

Don't need to see them and dirt cheap somemore!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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"Don't understand why Sinkies are compliaining about HIGH cost of this and that!

 

My open heart surgery cost me around S$8 only!"...quote

[Thargor]

  On 12/6/2010 at 3:22 AM, Gearoil said:

MiniStar Khaw will tell you to send these old folks to JB old folks home!

 

Don't need to see them and dirt cheap somemore!

 

 

Gearoil...are you going to run for the next election? If not shut up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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"Don't understand why Sinkies are compliaining about HIGH cost of this and that!

 

My open heart surgery cost me around S$8 only!"...quote

 

[Gearoil]

For a person like you who need to hold 2 or more jobs ...in Sinkland just to make enough....you will definitely need to take MiniStar Cow advice!

 

Oh...I almost forgot...you also termed yourself as 'some sort of expert' in whatever you do!

 

Then you will definitely be an 'expert' when it comes to 'Erection time'... as to who should be able to best take care of your old folk's need when that time comes!

[Bluepica]

Is there something like short term maid?