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Balancing work and family life

Cootie-Monster

By Cootie-Monster,
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Mrlancergtx

Mrlancergtx

5th Gear

Am also one of those late night owls - but now a father to be soon so have decided to give up all my travelling lifestyle and big bucks and just to have a simple job and a lovely family - money doesn't build a lovely family but love affection care and timing does. For this life of mine, I want that and no amount of money can give me my family back....

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West_end

West_end

Neutral Newbie

Haiz, this kind of topic really bring back memories.

 

I rarely saw my parents when growing up because they worked late and even full day on Saturdays. At first I stayed with my grandparents then later on at home with a maid. During school sports / prize day, almost everybody's parents came down except mine. Win award also no one to celebrate with. After school, I would hang out with the neighbourhood kids until around 6pm when they all went home for dinner. I would still be playing by myself until 8pm+. The only interaction I can remember having with my parents was Sunday lunch.

 

By the time their schedule stablized, I was already in my teens. I don't begrudge my parents because they were really working hard to make a living. Having said that, this is not the type of experience I want my own kids to go through. Till this day, I still feel a bit emotionally estranged from them.

 

My sis on the other hand was born some 13 years after me. Not only did she enjoy normal family time with her parents, Princess also had a rather doting elder brother to bully. Haiz, really a tale of night and day.

 

I can really reconcile with your growing-up phase. Ya, we don't bear grudges with our parents... they slog to feed & keep the family together. Try to connect deeply with them, letting go the feelings of being estranged.

 

Drum into the younger sister to cherish each & everyone before all the dotings make her lose herself.

 

You stay cool....

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Tigerwoods

Tigerwoods

Turbocharged

I'm glad I read this thread

 

I'm a workaholic who can work till 11plus and reach home, sleep and return to office by 7am.

 

For this, I'm appreciated and paid well.

 

I'm a father-to-be.....and after reading this thread I don't want to miss the growing up period of my kids. On the other hand I am worried my income will be compromised.

 

Guess I'll have to compromise the money :)

The most important years to your child are the 1st 12 years - be a big part of it.

This is also the time they create that strong bond with the father and mother and shaping their character.

My 1st child was given all the goodies due to my absence. Now showing signs of disrespectful... My 2nd is better, my 3rd, I spend the most time with and have stronger bonds with me then 1st 2.

I'm trying hard to link with 1st 2 kids but is a challenge.

No amount of money you earn can repair the bond between parent and child.

By pursuing career so that you can provide material things to your family and kids, but all they need is your presence, not your presents.

I'm not saying pursuing a career is wrong. If the pursuit of it, takes centrestage, then you got to decide...

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Jman888

Jman888

Moderator
(edited)

Haiz, this kind of topic really bring back memories.

 

I rarely saw my parents when growing up because they worked late and even full day on Saturdays. At first I stayed with my grandparents then later on at home with a maid. During school sports / prize day, almost everybody's parents came down except mine. Win award also no one to celebrate with. After school, I would hang out with the neighbourhood kids until around 6pm when they all went home for dinner. I would still be playing by myself until 8pm+. The only interaction I can remember having with my parents was Sunday lunch.

 

By the time their schedule stablized, I was already in my teens. I don't begrudge my parents because they were really working hard to make a living. Having said that, this is not the type of experience I want my own kids to go through. Till this day, I still feel a bit emotionally estranged from them.

 

My sis on the other hand was born some 13 years after me. Not only did she enjoy normal family time with her parents, Princess also had a rather doting elder brother to bully. Haiz, really a tale of night and day.

 

You were lucky still having them around you [;)]

 

My dad left for KL to build his business when I was P3, my mum went to join him when I was P5, my sis couldn't study further and went back when I was P6..... I was left alone from since then (I will take a train back on my own during jun & dec holiday), till I got married and they came back to join me.

 

I was busy for few years on my career and my part time master, left little time for my family (I was rushing my thesis overnight in the same hospital room with wife while she prepare to deliver the next morning [rolleyes] ....

 

I took a step back last year and now I reach home before 6pm, weekend 100% belongs to them, my office phone never ring after 6pm and weekend....

 

After more than 1 year of this lifestyle, my son get tire of seeing me [laugh] [laugh]

Edited by Jman888
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Tigerwoods

Tigerwoods

Turbocharged

Haha... I find yr story rather familiar. I work in a bank, we work damn long hrs, 9am to 10pm everyday, yes it is everyday.

 

After the financial crisis, i see my friends getting retrench and to avoid retrenchment we work even harder so as not to be the last few of the month. otherwise tio axe. I see my friend kenna retrench I also sadz.

 

after a long haul only the good horse remains, but this few horse are already severely overwork already, no more drive. This yr is much better, the bank started hiring again, they hire all the fresh graduates to replace those that are axed and old horse like me who got no more drive left. Eventually I left(last month), after seeing many fresh grad come and go, this time round i dun think i can compete with fresh grad who are full of drive anymore.

 

moral of the story, dun sell yr soul to the company, the company can just replace u eventually.

This is exactly same as my office. 1 person doing 2~3 persons job last year, pay cut 15~20% sommore.

My company still not hiring as we merged with another company. There will be another round of Retrench next year.. as we merge...haizz... am I next ?? I'm worried as I already mid 40s...

 

Hope you got a better job !

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Sk65

Sk65

1st Gear

long time ago, i made this decision to be a small man. a man with not much marnie, not much assets, not much of a career (just a job), just a family

 

time is not what we can get back. i only got this 12 years before they grow up. for this reason, i took up photography.

 

end up i earn 4 times lesser than my FYP mate, drive a pigkarp, live a 4 room flat far far away from my workplace, no career, just a job.......

 

fyp mate is a high flyer?

 

i think i earn lesser than my uni mates now.

 

abit sianz...

but took a slight wrong step after graduation,

so now, turning back.....

 

even wife earns more than me.

damn sianz.!@#

(almost no pride when talk about $)

 

back to topic,

both my boss are family man.

so dinner time are important time for them

phew.

no late night working (for this job, previous job, dunwan to say liao..)

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RunForrest

RunForrest

Neutral Newbie

No amt of $ can buy back time. I'm sure everyone remembered the nice moments of their childhood. Be a part of their memories is 1 big thing. To see their naiveness and innocence really throw off all the load you've brought back from the stressful world. They simply melt your heart. I treasure family above $. Now versus Later. Life is full of uncertainties. I almost lost my child to a virus. Cherish every moment you have. Love is life. $ is not.

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NightWind

NightWind

4th Gear

No amt of $ can buy back time. I'm sure everyone remembered the nice moments of their childhood. Be a part of their memories is 1 big thing. To see their naiveness and innocence really throw off all the load you've brought back from the stressful world. They simply melt your heart. I treasure family above $. Now versus Later. Life is full of uncertainties. I almost lost my child to a virus. Cherish every moment you have. Love is life. $ is not.

 

Not everyone has an option to decide, especially if u r in private sectior MNC. Many of us need the $$$ to pay mortgages, raising children is expensive, tuition fees etc..they all add up.

 

As the article in sg_review mentions, the alternative to choosing more time with family equates to being fired and having no future income, which is not an option at all to many in the private sector.

 

Singapore is an expensive place to live in with no social safety nets at all and a "take and take" PAP Govt......

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RadX

RadX

Moderator

You were lucky still having them around you [;)]

 

My dad left for KL to build his business when I was P3, my mum went to join him when I was P5, my sis couldn't study further and went back when I was P6..... I was left alone from since then (I will take a train back on my own during jun & dec holiday), till I got married and they came back to join me.

 

I was busy for few years on my career and my part time master, left little time for my family (I was rushing my thesis overnight in the same hospital room with wife while she prepare to deliver the next morning [rolleyes] ....

 

I took a step back last year and now I reach home before 6pm, weekend 100% belongs to them, my office phone never ring after 6pm and weekend....

 

After more than 1 year of this lifestyle, my son get tire of seeing me

 

 

no wonder so freeeeeeeeeeeeeee cum mcf [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

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Kiario

Kiario

5th Gear

family always comes first, i had copy & paste my reply on another topic below, a true story told by my ex-colleague(retired liao).

 

I am lucky that both me and my wife are working normal hours so it is easier for us to take care of our kid at night and i do understand the difficulty of parents with staggered working hours to take care of the baby as i used to work in shift.

 

1 of my colleague who are working shift ever relate to me his story of how he and his wife keep putting their son in the care of relatives since young, it soon becomes a habit and they keep it this way till hes in secondary school. he admit that they dun even visit or bring their son home even on weekends sometimes.

one day, while visiting his son, he came across a form for his son where his son had put 'deceased' in the parents column. he was shocked and realised how much his son resented them for their action and soon proceed to bring him back home to live together.

 

till this day, he still tell us this story to make us realise the importance of spending time with our kid where possible.

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Kxbc

Kxbc

Turbocharged

Not everyone has an option to decide, especially if u r in private sectior MNC. Many of us need the $$$ to pay mortgages, raising children is expensive, tuition fees etc..they all add up.

 

As the article in sg_review mentions, the alternative to choosing more time with family equates to being fired and having no future income, which is not an option at all to many in the private sector.

 

Singapore is an expensive place to live in with no social safety nets at all and a "take and take" PAP Govt......

Sometimes we can take a step back and just commit on the needs and not on all the wants. That may ease your financial burdens somewhat and you will have more breathing space.

 

I always remember what an ex-boss said to us: No one is indispensable in this office.

 

It's very true. You slog hard for the company. The company wins. Your life may suffer in terms of r/s, health. Once you underperform or perform below your usual self, you are out and another takes your place. If you die at your desk due to overwork, lagi worst. You will probably receive a wreath from the company max at best. Bay gim is a pte matter from your colleagues. This happens more so for those working in a big MNC where you are just one of the many tired faces.

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Wind30

Wind30

Turbocharged
(edited)

To see their naiveness and innocence really throw off all the load you've brought back from the stressful world. They simply melt your heart.

 

I really agree with the above. Everyday you face adults with all the society pressures, accepted norms, backstabbing, or what have you.

 

Really fun going home and playing with my 2 year old girl. Listen to her talk and babble :)

Edited by Wind30
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