Need advice - infant care OR maid + mums

[Toapayohkid]

infant care means your kid has higher chance of getting sick. but infant care is really convenient. up to you. i prefer parents + maid combo so parents can look out for any monkey business by maid. if you get good maid, no problems. but if bitch crazy maid, parents there also no use as maid can feed the kid crap. it is trade off for you and wife to decide.

[Thargor]

Frankly. Both are not really ideal, impression by you from your concerns and responses to bros here...

 

To be fair to your in laws and parents, they have spent more than half their life looking after you. And probably only starting to save for their retirment, now that yhou are married. Why bother them to look after your kid? Ask them to look for 3 years? 4 maybe 5 years? Would you be having more bb?

 

Look. Give them a break. Give them a monthly allowance to look after baby is not going to help them in planning their retoirement.

 

Unless you vouch you will take care of them financially and well being.

 

I considered your options too when I had my kid.

 

My wife and I went through through considerations. She quitted to look after our kid full time. Was well worth it. Kids looked after by Mum really different.

 

I know you are going to say money not enuff blah blah. But please, you have to adjust your lifestyle to manage along. Isn't it all about the all holy parent love for the kid?

 

 

Thank bro for your suggestions.

 

We are already providing monthly allowance to our parents...and honestly its enough for them to cover their basis needs, that is excluding their own savings + CPF. Even if they are not looking after my kid, we will still take care of them finanically.

 

Good for you that your wife is a sahm. Pity it is not an option for us. We need 2 incomes for the household. My wife is also a modern career woman, she is already struggling to take care of the baby now during her maternity leave. Enough said, money is money is money and if money can help to raise my kid better...i dont mind spending the money

 

Hehe i won't say money not enuff or alot...but I will say money is not the main consideration for me.

[Hiphiphoray]

Bro.....its basically trial & error. Just make a decision on what you think is best for your BB and adjust from there.

 

Be mentally and physically ready for it. Good luck.

[Mdfaz]

Hi there,

 

well first of all, i used to be in your position thinking of how to look after my baby girl. COnsidered both: infant-care and maid but decided against both. Nothing beats having granparents to look after your kid especially when they are very young... I don't really trust outsiders looking after my kids, not that I have anything against them. but heard of many horror stories.

 

So we send her to my mum-in-law's place and pick her up by 6pm every weekday, sometimes pretty late; but we make sure she sleeps with us at home. That way, we feel assured that she's in safe hands. Now she's attending preschool everyday for about 2 hours and my mum-in-law sends her there.

 

As for the maid, we have a part-time maid who comes in every 2 weeks to do the ironing and cleaning. That way, we save the maid bill (it's only $100 per mth vs having a full-time maid).

Edited April 5, 2010 by Mdfaz

[Ldawn88]

Bro, up to you .

 

If money really not an issue to you, as you mentioned, then I think your wife or self look after is still a relatively better choice compared to the 2 options you give here.

 

I suppose if you want your parents to help, you are going to need a maid.

 

I have seen my coworkers complaining about maids acting beyond comprehension, and when tried to remedy... it is often too late. And possible blaming games with the parents or in laws will unavoidably make relationship strain. Not worth it.

 

Also heard those exceptional stories that the kids grew so much in love with the maid that, they treat the maid as their own mum or dad. Esp when it was time for the maid to return for good, the kid will hate the parents even though they do not say that to you. Not enough reason helps.

 

Enough said. Don't think any bro here can gallantly say that their method will suit you cos you have your own needs and you have to make your own decision.

 

Good luck.

 

Thank bro for your suggestions.

 

We are already providing monthly allowance to our parents...and honestly its enough for them to cover their basis needs, that is excluding their own savings + CPF. Even if they are not looking after my kid, we will still take care of them finanically.

 

Good for you that your wife is a sahm. Pity it is not an option for us. We need 2 incomes for the household. My wife is also a modern career woman, she is already struggling to take care of the baby now during her maternity leave. Enough said, money is money is money and if money can help to raise my kid better...i dont mind spending the money

 

Hehe i won't say money not enuff or alot...but I will say money is not the main consideration for me.

Edited April 5, 2010 by Ldawn88

[Jamstart]

Getting a maid is a better choice cos she can help to clean up the place at the same time. For infant care, very virus prone area. If one child sick, all sick. For maid wise, it is like striking a consolation prize, not all are bad. Some are really good and they love the kids as much as you. One possible maid I would like to avoid is those from Indo, just heard too much frm them I believe if you treat the maid well, they will treat your family well as well. Just tell this to them on their first day of work, it works well for me.

Edited April 5, 2010 by Jamstart

[Thargor]

Kinda headache now really...

 

For me...i am think getting a maid and having my mum and mum-in-laws to come to my house (Mon-wed, thurs to friday) during weekdays may be the best possible option for now.

 

Leaving my baby at my mum or inlaw place is not an option...the travelling to my in law place is like almost 40 mins one way, dont think i wanna subject my baby girl to the danger and perils of crappy drivers on the road everyday. Furthermore...from my in law place to my workplace can be up to 1.5 hours...don't think I can survive 3 hours on the road everyday. So we are thinking of getting them to come over during day before we leave the house for work...or they can stay at our place during weekdays.

 

And getting the maid is really having extra hands to do housework, cook and laundry...and just having someone else extra at home. I don't think I even want the maid to wash my baby's milk bottle...let alone let the maid take care of the baby.

 

 

[Kingcopa]

Kinda headache now really...

 

For me...i am think getting a maid and having my mum and mum-in-laws to come to my house (Mon-wed, thurs to friday) during weekdays may be the best possible option for now.

 

Leaving my baby at my mum or inlaw place is not an option...the travelling to my in law place is like almost 40 mins one way, dont think i wanna subject my baby girl to the danger and perils of crappy drivers on the road everyday. Furthermore...from my in law place to my workplace can be up to 1.5 hours...don't think I can survive 3 hours on the road everyday. So we are thinking of getting them to come over during day before we leave the house for work...or they can stay at our place during weekdays.

 

And getting the maid is really having extra hands to do housework, cook and laundry...and just having someone else extra at home. I don't think I even want the maid to wash my baby's milk bottle...let alone let the maid take care of the baby.

 

That is why we choose to stay near my inlaw before we buy flat, save alot of our brain cells. Anyway, i hope ur arrangement can work.

Edited April 5, 2010 by Kingcopa

[Thargor]

That is why we choose to stay near my inlaw before we buy flat, save alot of our brain cells. Anyway, i hope ur arrangement can work.

 

Our current place is like 10 minutes walk to my parent's place too. But with my sister's recent deceased at my parent's place.. my parents are thinking of selling their house and get a smaller unit. My mum is currently staying with my other sister now....

 

 

[Dj_spike]

you dont scare him lah.. the main reason is that they got no enough man power. if they have the time, they will carry the baby 1 by 1. but if its feeding time, the baby feeding one come first.

 

Its true leh... that aside, this topic also i am having some issues as well...

[Kingcopa]

Our current place is like 10 minutes walk to my parent's place too. But with my sister's recent deceased at my parent's place.. my parents are thinking of selling their house and get a smaller unit. My mum is currently staying with my other sister now....

 

Oic.

[Ladykillerz]

one thing about infant care. if one baby is sick, the virus will spread to the rest.

 

of course best is to babysit by your mother, mother-in-law, etc.

this is a headache living in Singapore.

hiring a maid is also another gamble.

 

i can understand that this is troublesome but perhaps hired a maid and install cctv...

[Tarzan666]

Same same, dat time when wanna buy house we die die wanna find 1 which is very near, walking distance kind to either my parents or inlaws place.

 

It also helps when both set of parent is more than willing to take care of the baby...im very lucky.

 

Some of my friends got to send to infant care coz either the parents working, or don't wanna take care of their grandchild...

 

 

[Darthkk]

Kinda headache now really...

 

For me...i am think getting a maid and having my mum and mum-in-laws to come to my house (Mon-wed, thurs to friday) during weekdays may be the best possible option for now.

 

Leaving my baby at my mum or inlaw place is not an option...the travelling to my in law place is like almost 40 mins one way, dont think i wanna subject my baby girl to the danger and perils of crappy drivers on the road everyday. Furthermore...from my in law place to my workplace can be up to 1.5 hours...don't think I can survive 3 hours on the road everyday. So we are thinking of getting them to come over during day before we leave the house for work...or they can stay at our place during weekdays.

 

And getting the maid is really having extra hands to do housework, cook and laundry...and just having someone else extra at home. I don't think I even want the maid to wash my baby's milk bottle...let alone let the maid take care of the baby.

 

Hi bro, I had the same dilemma as you 2 years ago, after considering the pros and cons which a lot of brother has already written, I decided to engaged a maid and bring them over to my parents' place.

 

In this way, the maid need not do any housework there (as it's not legal anyway) and she just concentrate to look after my girl, and my mother will keep an eye on her. At the end most of the time my mother will look after but when come to like feeding, changing diaper etc the maid will do it.

 

And after consideration we decided to enagaged a Philipino maid, as the main purpose is to look after my girl, I need someone who is clever enough, have initiative, and can understand instructions clearly, and majority if not all the horrible stories of maid involved indonesian maid so I totally rule them out.

 

We got the maid from a small agency in Bukit Timah Shopping Centre, from recommendation from a family friend, a small agent run by a filipino herself which will handpick the maid that come to SG.

 

So now the maid has been with us for 2 years and we are satisfy with her and will be renewing her contract for another 2 years.

 

Hope this short sharing can help.

 

Cheers!

[Fireball0088]

Do u know that the nurses at hospitals also leave the babies alone when they cry????

They bo chup until its feeding time....

 

 

it is true... but if your baby is like mine... cry so loud until the nurses buay tahan, they quickly bring to my wife

 

they said mine cried the loudest

[Jamstart]

Hi bro, I had the same dilemma as you 2 years ago, after considering the pros and cons which a lot of brother has already written, I decided to engaged a maid and bring them over to my parents' place.

 

In this way, the maid need not do any housework there (as it's not legal anyway) and she just concentrate to look after my girl, and my mother will keep an eye on her. At the end most of the time my mother will look after but when come to like feeding, changing diaper etc the maid will do it.

 

And after consideration we decided to enagaged a Philipino maid, as the main purpose is to look after my girl, I need someone who is clever enough, have initiative, and can understand instructions clearly, and majority if not all the horrible stories of maid involved indonesian maid so I totally rule them out.

 

We got the maid from a small agency in Bukit Timah Shopping Centre, from recommendation from a family friend, a small agent run by a filipino herself which will handpick the maid that come to SG.

 

So now the maid has been with us for 2 years and we are satisfy with her and will be renewing her contract for another 2 years.

 

Hope this short sharing can help.

 

Cheers!

2nd that. Philipino at least can speak English and is alo good for the kid. You dun wanna let your kid end up learning indo malay.

 

[Joseph22]

Its true leh... that aside, this topic also i am having some issues as well...

for me. i get my in-laws or mother to look after my children. when they come to age. its time for them to go childcare.

[Darthkk]

2nd that. Philipino at least can speak English and is alo good for the kid. You dun wanna let your kid end up learning indo malay.

 

ha but she speak with a certain accent.... hope my girl don't pick up much from her.

 

But she really take care of my girl very well, and sometime we think she is going to spoil her..ha but that is less of our worry than to get a maid that is bo chap and don't do her job well right?