What People Write in Accident Claims - For Laughs

[Alechi]

Top 20: 'Accidental' humour

 

The following collection of rather humorous accident claims in England isn't new - it came from a website and has probably been circulating about for a while now. But since the topic is automotive based, it's worth a share and hopefully, a laugh.

 

 

20. "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

 

19. "I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

 

18. Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?

A: Travelled by bus?

 

17. A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:

Q - What warning was given by you?

A - Horn

Q - What warning was given by the other party?

A - Moo

 

16. "I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries, and another on the woman behind".

 

15. "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

 

14. "I thought my window was down, but I found out it wasn't when I put my head through it".

 

13. "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car".

 

12. "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

 

11. "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

 

10. "I had been shopping for plans all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

 

9. "I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

 

8. "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian."

 

7. "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

 

6. "The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him."

 

5. "I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman, as he bounced off the roof of my car"

 

4. "The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

 

3. "I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

 

2. "I was going at about 70 or 80mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."

 

1. "The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again."

 

 

[Alechi]

Oops ... double-posted

[Altivo]

wahahaha... i like this

 

17. A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:

Q - What warning was given by you?

A - Horn

Q - What warning was given by the other party?

A - Moo

 

[Alechi]

hahaha .. when i read it .. i peng san

[Silverspark]

2. "I was going at about 70 or 80mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."

 

lol. best!

[Scion]

11. "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

 

this reminds me got one time i swerved my car out of my lane when a cockroach suddenly crawled across the dashboard...

luckily no cars around me...

[Ghostrider]

This is the same crap I got from one car that ram into me at a zebra crossing....

 

He said he was busy trying to squash the cockroach that crawl on his dash board....

[Introz]

the best in our land

i wanna press the brake but i forget which is the brake and which is the accerlator

[Civic6656]

HAHAHAHAHA sounds very familiar....

[Sagiitaur]

hahaha

[Qpik]

quote " I slowed down to beat CTE ERP clock but i didn't realise it end at 10.30pm instead of 10pm until the taxi behind gave me a jolt on my bumper". this one was told to me by a taxi uncle who gave the kuku the "jolt"

Edited March 5, 2010 by Qpik

[Achtung]

Xiao Qiang Killer.

 

This is the same crap I got from one car that ram into me at a zebra crossing....

 

He said he was busy trying to squash the cockroach that crawl on his dash board....