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Are you a weekend parent?


Roh96
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thats why , i gave up my D9-10 property and bought a DXX property so that i can conveniently bring back kid every day and "deposit" in the morning. haha

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my mom stays with me on weekdays and my dad stays with me on weekends.

 

they are not on talking terms so this arrangement is actually great for them

 

maid does all the hard labour. my mom does the teaching and discipline

 

my kids sleep with me and my wife everyday

 

i made a decision to sacrifice my career to spend time with my children and wife [grouphug]

 

gee manz that's why i [drivingcar] a pigkarp

 

i know mine isn't exactly fast, so do be paitent with me [grouphug]

 

 

currently, i sleep with wife with son in between, even with that, i'm thinking of downgrading my career so that i'll have more time for them...as i typing this post, i still in office, waiting for a 9pm teleconf...

 

side track slightly, how much downgrading will one give up to have more time for family??.... .... i'm thinking of a career change at this point of time and that mean a 32% pay cut and adjust lifestyle slightly...from 8:30-8pm+ daily (nearly 5.5-6 days work week) to 8:30-6pm sharp (5 days)......will anyone go for it??.. ..and i might have to give up driving because of this change.......hehehe.... :D

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We work full time and have our one kid at home all the time.

 

Morning she gets dropped to child care centre / kindergarten. Grandad picks her up after school and brings her to our place, then cooks dinner.

 

We arrive home around 8, eat dinner as a family then grandad goes home.

 

I put my princess to bed in her room every night with a story.

 

It has been like this since baby was born - I always got up in the night for feedings and changes, and have never left her to the grandparents overnight.

 

Parenting is simply a matter of priority...house not quite so clean, or watch a little less tv - do whatever, dun hav eto be perfect parents, just need to be there.

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Turbocharged

we make it a point that we will not be weekend parents.. my wife gave up her job to take care of our kids fulltime. we sacrificed some material stuff, but it has been rewarding on other area.. eg, and our kids are very close to us and we get to fully experience the growing up process of our kids. once that stage has passed, it'll never return.

 

 

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my daughter is with me 23 hours a day....the only 1 hour she's not with me, is when i go swimming, where i drop her at my parents' place.

 

Once, when i had a terrible flu, i put her with my parents for 1 night, so i can rest and also, not pass the virus to her....wahhh....that night was HELL for her and for me :(

 

She hardly slept the whole night, and i felt so uneasy she's not with me :(

 

I just don't understand how parents can be so hard-hearted and only see their kids during the weekend....for me, even a single day apart, my heart pines for her. After work, cannot sacrifice one hour just to see your own flesh and blood?

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Just wonder how many of you here are weekend parents? I think is getting common nowadays, 3 of my neighbours are all weekend parents. They will leave the kids with ah gong and ah ma on weekdays and only bring them home on Sat and Sun. 1 of the neighbour is lagi best, all the 7 days leave to grandparents to take care, only bring him home on Sat and Sunday afternoon and by evening send the kid back to grandparents. Last saturday i met one ah gong with his few months old granddaughter at the clinic. He complain to me about how lazy his son and daughter-in-law, the baby girl was unwell for 3 days already and yet the parents still can't be bother like that and wait until sat then bring to doc. As uusual when i ask the parents why don't bring your child back, they will say tired and they need to cope with work stress blah blah. I couldn't understand, if raising a kid is so tiring or if career is so important, then why give birth? If they are not willing to sacrifice the sleep, why want to have kid? And they can have the heart to sacrifice the old folks sleep instead. What has the world become?

 

WTH like that have kids for what?? If parents don't have the time to care for the kids, better don't give birth and have all the time to whatever they want.

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I will understand that during the day time most parents have to work so Ah gong/Ah ma can help to take care as I don't really beleive that FT maid can do it cos not their flesh and blood.

But if parents that r ready for kids should really be responsible enough to have the evening time for bonding, having dinner, maybe really busy can do it every night but still I don't think that both parents will be always busy at the same time leh.

If really can't be commited why have the kids in the first place. I really pity the kids. I have friends with 4 kids and whenever he work late he will call back home to talk with his kids for awhile and will try not to work late as much as possible, whatever that can put aside for tomorrow he will put aside.

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To me the best guage of whether 1 is a weekend parent is by the closeness your kid is to you as it best reflects the relationship and the effort as a parent.

 

Physically bringing home everyday or weekends and then dumping the kid to the maid isnt any better either.

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My kids are one of few fortunate ones that gets to stay overnite at home everyday with 2 FT working parents.

 

Its a god damn tiring option with huge sacrifices involve. But its worth the hard work seeing a happy family under the same roof together everyday. [grouphug]

 

So far, i have not encounter anybody able to subtain this arrangement.............and we did it without grandparents help too. hehehe.

 

Bro you very steady! [thumbsup]

 

We share the same thinking too!

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Some possible reasons,

 

1) Accident...

2) People have I also should have mah...

3) Sometime can be fun...No fun still got parents to depend on so so worries....

4) Humm....maybe can take care me when i am old....

5) etc etc

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Bro you very steady! [thumbsup]

 

We share the same thinking too!

 

Previously i dont own a car. I still remember having to rush off from office at 6pm, take mrt from orchard to sembawang and practically left 10 mins to run to the childcare centre to fetch my girl before 7pm. And thereafter serve her dinner with our pre-time/cook porriadge. She eat slow and this will take 45mins to 1hour. When wify will reach home then i go ta-bo dinner and bath. By the time dust settles, its well over 9pm. Did that for 1+ year day-in day-out. Wify will take over the play-time with her. I even forgo my master bed for them to sleep together.

 

As such, our girl is very close to us. Btw.........we were on 5 1/2 workweek back then.

 

Is a farrrrrrrrrr cry to my SIL, whom owns a car far earlier than us and knock off from work at 5.30pm. 5days work week..............still they dump thier son with nanny. Sun nite dump over, sat morning collect. [shakehead][thumbsdown]

Edited by Hiphiphoray
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For the past >1.5years since my son was bornt, I have been sending him to either my parents in Woodlands or my in-laws in Marine Parade and pick him up in the evening after work every working day. Weekends will alternate between both grandparents. Throw in household chores and regular weekend overtime, I find myself a very tired man. Most of the time I fell asleep after putting my son to bed even before I can drag myself to the showers! So thus when the arrival of my princess looms, I threw in the towel and got myself a maid to help out recently. Yes it's tough work, trying to cope with everything by myself. But it's rewarding when I see my son grow everyday. And he recognizes me as the pivotal person in his life even compared to his mother.

 

Of course, it's not for everybody. I had to cut back on alot of stuff in my life. Sometimes, I do ask myself whether I could be leading a more fulfilling life if I didn't married and start a family before 30. Maybe I could get that PhD that I have been aiming for or get a job that pays for that GTR that I wanted. It's all about sacrifices and what I really want in life. And in this life, family comes first for me.

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I can empathized with you all this bro. When I went for my company retreat recently, it was the first time my son and wife were not beside me in the bed. It took me hours to just fall asleep. I heard from my wife that my son kept asking for "daddy" the whole night too.. *Sigh*

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I am not..my kids will be left with my in-law in the day and we pick them up in the evening. It is difficult some times...but my wife and i just have to make adjustments to our work schedule. Instead of doing OT in the office....we leave work at sensible hours, have dinner with kids, put them to bed...then continue with our work. i will some times stay pass midnight to do house work. No maid...cos like the idea.

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I held back my PhD studies so that I can make sure that I got enough time for my kiddos. I also knocked back a lot of opportunities that would take away most of my time but make my life more comfortable. You have to find that balance yourself lorz. Is your wife working too?

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Do you work from home? Sometimes I envy those parents who are able to do that.

 

yes, i work from home...but my role is mainly a househusband.

 

I watch the new TV show "Qi Er Ba Ba" about househusbands i wanna laugh LOL busy until peng cooking, cleaning, caring for kids, until whole body sweaty and stink like bangla worker....where got so "glam" LOL

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