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Newly weds hold their wedding dinner, why should i care?

Help1

By Help1,
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Help1

Help1

1st Gear

http://www.divaasia.com/article/5359

 

if the couple choose to select a venue which offers expensive menu/fanciful ambience and expect their guest to give them fat hongbaos...really can dream on....

 

as for me, it depends on how close is the relationship btw myself and the party who invite me...i really cannot believe ppl bao hongbao mostly based on the venue...simply cannot understand such mentality....if the couple holds a wedding dinner in damn posh venue, will you bao more than $1k???? it is the couple damn business to hold at posh venue but dun expect guest to reciprocate back with fattest hongbaos loh....

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Nolicense

Nolicense

Turbocharged

http://www.divaasia.com/article/5359

 

if the couple choose to select a venue which offers expensive menu/fanciful ambience and expect their guest to give them fat hongbaos...really can dream on....

 

as for me, it depends on how close is the relationship btw myself and the party who invite me...i really cannot believe ppl bao hongbao mostly based on the venue...simply cannot understand such mentality....if the couple holds a wedding dinner in damn posh venue, will you bao more than $1k???? it is the couple damn business to hold at posh venue but dun expect guest to reciprocate back with fattest hongbaos loh....

 

depends on how rich their relatives are.. its a make or loss wedding dinner.. its always like that.

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Edmundgan

Edmundgan

Neutral Newbie

just my 50 cents opinion

if you are not close to them.. then just decline the invitation better than you go there, ang bao not enough.. then the couple remember you for it right? If you paiseh, just buy them a small gift loh..

 

Nothing to be frustrated about..

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Help1

Help1

1st Gear
  • Author

i am not being frustrated but more of why ppl have such mentality that if the couple hold their wedding dinner at a posh venue, they have to bao a very big hongbao....isn't it based on the friendship/kinship to determine the angbao value, and not the venue. So what if the couple lose money at the end of day, if hold wedding dinner, one must be generous, invite guests and receive blessings and share the happiness...if so focus on getting profit or afraid losing money then why bother to have wedding dinner in the 1st place or even hold it at a expensive venue.....

 

 

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Ender

Ender

Hypersonic

I cannot agree to the practice of at least giving enough to cover the cost of your share. Wedding dinner is not a business transaction to make profit. The couple should feel honor if the guest has taken time off their life to witness their wedding. 有来就好

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Babyt

Babyt

4th Gear

if u dont intend to get married, den u can MIA or Reject the invitiation or give small amt to someone u noe u wont see them again.

 

so far attended 3 weddings and they r ppl who i dont even hang out w before and affer ...

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Sony

Sony

1st Gear

if one does not want to cover the cost or give a decent enough ang bao or gift, then as one Bro put it, just decline politely.

 

it's the couple's wish to have it at expensive place and their wish for you to join them in this expensive occasion but there's no stopping anyone from rsvp and decline the invite.

 

it's better than hat one kind that give small but bring the whole family to the dinner..

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Sony

Sony

1st Gear

I cannot agree to the practice of at least giving enough to cover the cost of your share. Wedding dinner is not a business transaction to make profit. The couple should feel honor if the guest has taken time off their life to witness their wedding. 有来就好

 

 

at times, the couple or their family is obliged to send invitation to someone whom they are either not close or even wish to be present at their wedding but due to certain social reason, they have to waste one of their invitation card ..

 

respect and honour is mutual and 2 way.. some guest whom cannot afford are just so stuck up that they think they are required at someone's wedding....

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Babyt

Babyt

4th Gear
(edited)

1 is based on ex-sch mate relationship.

 

1 is based on NSman relationship.

 

1 is based on ex-nsf relationship.

 

i will still go but i standard give $80 only.

 

 

 

 

I thought even if u reject their wedding invitation, u still need to bao angbao??? Some ppl just want headcount..the more the better coz it will be weird if ur wedding is quiet.

Edited by Babyt
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Help1

Help1

1st Gear
  • Author

nah...if so long never meet up and out of sudden, one red bomb arrived, no way....i will think this couple is trying to garner more hongbaos and trying to invite any ah mao and ah gou, or you are the B or C list ppl......

 

for friends that i do liase with, if cannot attend, i will ask someone to tongbang angbao or gift

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Altivo

Altivo

3rd Gear

my views only... the problem is both sides - guest and wedding couple

 

As a guest, if you attend, then pay what's comfortable or reasonable loh. If you feel it's not worth paying that amount and yet still scared paiseh becos your angpao is not much... then don't go loh. Afterall, an invitation is not an obligation to attend.

 

As the host, pls don't expect to make a PROFIT from the dinner. Instead, set aside some amount as a buffer should the ang paos being not able to cover the bill. If this is a likely scenario.. then go for something cheaper. Often, i've seen couples arguing over the bills the next morning. Huh... what a way to start a married life.

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Nolicense

Nolicense

Turbocharged

at times, the couple or their family is obliged to send invitation to someone whom they are either not close or even wish to be present at their wedding but due to certain social reason, they have to waste one of their invitation card ..

 

respect and honour is mutual and 2 way.. some guest whom cannot afford are just so stuck up that they think they are required at someone's wedding....

 

that's our parent's time. all about face, relationship and peer pressure. once u consider all these then the ang bao rate will be decided.. can be headache sometimes.

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Felipe

Felipe

3rd Gear

agree, that's pretty naive and a gamble. if they are money conscious, they should estimate the wealth of each individual. total up and then see what venue is suitable. there are those who think like what u said and lost big time in wedding dinner.

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Watwheels

Watwheels

Supersonic

Aiya. Just give the amount you are comfortable. Why be so self-conscious about the amount you wanna give? We all know that a wedding cost a bomb, give as generously as you can lor. When it's your turn they will give you back when you invite them.

 

If the one hundred odd dollars bother you so much, just tell ppl early that you can't make it lor. Make sure you dun have a wedding dinner in future cos ppl will do the same to what you think now.

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Kyojin

Kyojin

1st Gear

i don't understand your rationale and why you have to appear to be such a scrooge.

 

if you are really tight, the couple will surely understand since they invited you. unless of course you are not close to them and they don't know your situation - then they shouldn't even be inviting you. in such cases, i would politely decline, saying I have prior commitments SOON AFTER receiving the card. at least they don't waste a space on you.

 

i've been to 2 weddings where this (same) guy said he would go, but eventually not turn up for both and didn't even give a gesture ang bao. i know he didn't turn up because he was financially tight at those times, but it's not cool. 1 seat lost and wasted.

 

but if you can afford it, yet you pay $40 and still bring your partner along, then you should really be shamed. i like what the mainland chinese do: rip open the red packet immediately.

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Contax

Contax

1st Gear

it will depend on how one is related to the bride and bridegroom.If it's relatives , then lan-lan but if it's friends or assoscaite , then just give standard market rate .

 

It's their choice on where to hold the dinner reception BUT cannot expect all their invited guests to cover or even profit from the wedding dinner reception .

 

Gone where the days when a table cost <$400 and most guests will give at least $50 .

 

 

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Help1

Help1

1st Gear
  • Author

hahahaha....question is my wife and myself do not invite ppl whom we don't liase with...for what...just to get more angbao or to have more ppl to attend, we are not bother abt this...most is comfortable in inviting ppl that we know and to share happiness and fun that night....i bao hongbao based on level of friendships, it can range to few hundreds

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