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Any autistic people around?


Rjmsfire
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Hi, I am too :) Had a really hard child hood.. Being seem as the "odd" one out. But lucky parents and relatives gave lots of love and care. Had a hard time going after my wife too hahaha. Was the quiet and "non" interactive" guy and lucky my wife chose me hehe.

 

to be honest, till now I still have problems expressing myself. My wife knows me very well and always hang around me for lots of stuff, she is the one to on the front line and I support her. My work is a one to one basis hence no issue.

 

But to be honest, being autistic really makes life a bit tougher...

 

Well, at least u have a good family, job & a good wife [thumbsup]

 

U're alrdy much more blessed than many pple around or even in MCF.

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Neutral Newbie

Those autistic people with exceptional abilities are known as autistic savants. From what I read off the web, only a small percentage of autistic people belong to this category. For me, I've no special powers :)

 

Krieger:

I can relate to your feelings completely! I've always been the odd one out too. Not that I want to, but despite my best efforts to mix with people, I just can't quite. End up being a loner. The one who has hardly anything to say (so quiet!) when in a group. However one to one talking is much easier. I'm the one who can't get people to go out with me. So go out on my own lor, in fact do almost everything on my own. Again, not that I want to be anti-social (I really don't want to), I just can't quite mix with people. Yah, life is more challenging with autism, and it's only a mild form for me!

 

I'm glad you have found a loving woman to be your wife. I'm very keen to know how you accomplished that! I've lots of trouble with relationships. Can't feel close to family members, can't quite have friends (almost all are skin deep - acquaintances) and having real difficulty with romantic relationships. I find it very hard to connect with people beyond a superficial level.

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Well, at least u have a good family, job & a good wife [thumbsup]

 

U're alrdy much more blessed than many pple around or even in MCF.

 

 

I second that [thumbsup][thumbsup] Definitely better than a previously deluded chap from hk [lipsrsealed]

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Rjmsfire, the society during my time, 90s do not take autistic people as "normal"To them, I am a retarded child.. I remember duirng secondary school days when my classmates make fun of me. Their parents say I am a stupid child..can't talk much. Even my teachers chide me when I do well. They say cos I had no friends hhence more time to study. ..crap..

 

As for wife.. I went after her for 5 years, in fact thro out my uni days... I am such a loner, except for 1 , 2 friends. Its one hell of a process..pple around me said I am a toad going after a swan. I broke down in fact. Lucky it is during that time she came and talk to me and invited me to her pageant ball. [sweatdrop] . From that day onwards there is no turning back...

 

Family plays a damn important part of my life. My dad told me " even if you can't get a gf, its ok. Get get a paid one.." You can imagine then .... might find it funny to others, but to me.. as autistic guy.. means a lot to boast my ego then..

 

Patient friend. Try and even if doen's work out, let it be. Life is so short .. [bounce2]

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Those autistic people with exceptional abilities are known as autistic savants. From what I read off the web, only a small percentage of autistic people belong to this category. For me, I've no special powers :)

 

Krieger:

I can relate to your feelings completely! I've always been the odd one out too. Not that I want to, but despite my best efforts to mix with people, I just can't quite. End up being a loner. The one who has hardly anything to say (so quiet!) when in a group. However one to one talking is much easier. I'm the one who can't get people to go out with me. So go out on my own lor, in fact do almost everything on my own. Again, not that I want to be anti-social (I really don't want to), I just can't quite mix with people. Yah, life is more challenging with autism, and it's only a mild form for me!

 

I'm glad you have found a loving woman to be your wife. I'm very keen to know how you accomplished that! I've lots of trouble with relationships. Can't feel close to family members, can't quite have friends (almost all are skin deep - acquaintances) and having real difficulty with romantic relationships. I find it very hard to connect with people beyond a superficial level.

 

haha.. bro, even normal people can have difficulty connecting with other people, so don't worry about autism. i'm a loner too, and find people very superficial too. even close friends to me appear superficial under the microscope.

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Very interesting topic.i come across different types of autisims during my work.like what TS mention,some are mild,some are consider serious.in mild cases,i learnt that their attention span is very short and they tends to "drift" away while talking to them,also,they dun look usually look into ur eyes(avoid eye contacts).as for more serious case,daily life are really affected even like changing on their own.but,i really have to give the parents the credit of taking care of them 24hrs,coz they really need xtra attention.People who dun know the problems,will say they are "xiao lang",or "Bo Ka Si" which is quite a sad thing especially in public [bigcry] .

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hmm, i guess in singapore's environment, these people would not survive long. they would whither away and never realise their potential.. pity.

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Pardon me for my sensitivity, but I feel it would be better to say that 'someone has ASD' rather then saying that 'they are autistic'. I guess most people with ASD wouldn't mind being called 'autistic', but there are some who may be quite sensitive to 'labelling'.

 

Generally, people who show minor symptoms of ASD would not be diagnosed officially as having ASD if they are able to function relatively well in society and their immediate social circles. After all everyone is different; each with flavours and subtle differences in their personalities. If you were to increase the inclusiveness of the range of symptoms, then every TD&H could possibly be 'someone with ASD'.

 

People with ASD usually come across as those who do not conform to social norms or behaviours. Know of someone who doesn't keep to their private space? How about the queer guy in the train who talks to himself? These are possibly the signs and symptoms of people with ASD.

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Turbocharged

know of a kid about 4, high-function autism, is able to read books, count, addition and subtract..saw with my own eyes heard that he could already do all these when he was about near 3.

 

autistic kids have some sort of obsession.. this case, the above. but parents have a real hard time teaching him social comms..

 

are u also like that? if u don't mind, can share how did u 'outgrow' this?

 

 

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Trust me, it's worse when people call you retard.... Kind of sad, grew to hate and wanted to just end my life when i was about 15. By the way, my offspring will have a higher chance of having asd as well.

 

As for what Hondacub777 said, it is the short attention span and less or no eye contact that make pple feel that nyou are rude and do not respect them.. that make things worse ..

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Apart from your difficulties growing up, I think you can be seen as a great success amongst the many people with ASD. You should be happy for that, and proud of your accomplishments working around these difficulties. [thumbsup] Quite a handful with ASD have comorbidities with mild-intellectual difficulties, etc. These people find it even more difficult to progress in life, their personal goals, dreams, desires and for some, needs.

 

This is a link to the video that was circulating some years back regarding savantism -

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Neutral Newbie

Rjmsfire, the society during my time, 90s do not take autistic people as "normal"To them, I am a retarded child.. I remember duirng secondary school days when my classmates make fun of me. Their parents say I am a stupid child..can't talk much. Even my teachers chide me when I do well. They say cos I had no friends hhence more time to study. ..crap..

 

As for wife.. I went after her for 5 years, in fact thro out my uni days... I am such a loner, except for 1 , 2 friends. Its one hell of a process..pple around me said I am a toad going after a swan. I broke down in fact. Lucky it is during that time she came and talk to me and invited me to her pageant ball. [sweatdrop] . From that day onwards there is no turning back...

 

My growing up time was also the 80s and 90s. Fortunately nobody labeled me a retard nor stupid. Perhaps it's because my IQ is normal and I did above average in my studies. Nobody mentioned anything about autism either. I guess nobody around me knew about such a thing, including myself. My teachers, parents and myself did know I was unusually quiet, kept too much to myself and had few friends (note: ASD has a lot more symptoms than these). When I was about 20 I was reading about autism. I had so many of the symptoms described within Asperger's Syndrome. Then it clicked! It was then that I 'discovered' myself. It didn't make life any easier, but at least I knew why I was the way I am.

 

Can you share what your then-girlfriend saw in you that made her want to talk to you and invite you to her activities? Would it be right to say, she accepted you for what you are? And how did you go after your swan? :)

Sorry, for these things I can't grasp it, so need to ask those who have already 上岸 :)

 

 

autistic kids have some sort of obsession.. this case, the above. but parents have a real hard time teaching him social comms..

 

are u also like that? if u don't mind, can share how did u 'outgrow' this?

 

Yes, one of the symptoms of ASD is having narrow interests and obsessed about them. One of my obsessions was aviation. I went to great lengths to pursue it. I'm like a walking encyclopedia when it comes to aviation! I also realised from a young age that I only wanted to read non-fiction. I wasn't interested in storybooks. Till now, 90% of what I watch on TV is sports and documentaries. I don't seek out movies and dramas, which is what most 'normal people' would watch as their first choice. So this is one manifestation of my tendency to be disconnected from people.

 

I didn't outgrow Asperger's Syndrome, I still have it. When I was in my late teens (I wasn't aware of ASD then), I realised that being unable to mix with people will be a hindrance to my progress in life. It's not so much how much you know, but who knows you and how well they know you, that can give you the leg-up in getting jobs, getting deals, and being introduced to the right people that can help you, right?

 

So I made a conscious effort to improve my weaknesses in talking with people. After all, talking and body language are the primary means of face-to-face communication, which determines how well one can mix with people. I observed how other people chit chat, how people behaved in groups and tried to emulate. It wasn't easy at all, up till now. I still can't quite grasp it. To me, it's like trying to grasp thin air! I just don't get it. Although I must say I've improved through the years and can get by and can hold a job. I'm still the loner that other people do not seek my company out, as I'm too quiet should I sit with them (like a wooden block beside you, haha!). Very dull in other people's eyes, but internally I beg to differ.

 

 

in mild cases,i learnt that their attention span is very short and they tends to "drift" away while talking to them,also,they dun look usually look into ur eyes(avoid eye contacts).

 

I have some difficulty in maintaining eye contact too. However I know it is important and I always try. But tell me, from your perspective, is it disturbing if the person you talk to avoids eye contact? And how do you feel when the person you talk to drifts away?

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