5-sec jokes

[Darth_mel]

Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'

 

 

A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,'send me a brother'....

Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'....

 

 

Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!'

Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'

 

 

Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?'

Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one,

my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.'

 

 

A young boy asks his Dad,

'What is the difference between confident and confidential? '

Dad says , 'You are my son, I'm confident about that.

Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! '

 

 

Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back.

How do you control your anger?'

Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'

Husband: 'How does that help?'

Wife: 'I use your toothbrush ..'

Edited May 26, 2009 by Darth_mel

[RadX]

muahaha....I like the confidential one....sibeh sweee

[Altivo]

yeah... me too... that was a good one!

[Ady75]

short and laughable...

[Robo]

i like that toothbrush one. lol

 

[Maxus-MIFA9]

muahaha....I like the confidential one....sibeh sweee

 

 

hmmmmmm......... so you also one of a guilty one hor........

[RadX]

hmmmmmm......... so you also one of a guilty one hor........

 

 

yup...a lot of confidentials running around....Interpol also cannot keep up w the nos

 

[Thug]

A daughter caught her mum self-satisfying one day through her ajar door on the bed saying "I need a man, give mi a man...."

 

The next day, the daughter saw her mum with a man on the same bed.

 

She went back to her room, closed the door and did the same saying, "I need a bicycle, give mi a bicycle...."

[Tomazsky]

I like the "clean toilet using toothbrush" too... Edited May 26, 2009 by Tomazsky

[Xefera]

the last one is good that make me think abt stashing my toothbrush in my pocket

[Mustank]

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

>His

>>birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his

>>mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."

>>

>>Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble

>at

>>school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved

>to

>>get a bike for his birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did.

>>

>>Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his

>>behavior over the last year and write a letter to God and tell him why

>he

>>deserved a bike for his birthday.

>>

>>Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God

>a

>>letter.

>>

>>LETTER 1:

>>Dear God:

>>I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my

>>birthday. I want a red one.

>>Your friend,

>>Leroy

>>

>>Leroy knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this

>year, so

>>he tore up the letter and started over.

>>

>>LETTER 2:

>>Dear God:

>>This is your friend Leroy, I have been a pretty good boy this year,

>and I

>>would like a red bike for my birthday.

>>Thank you,

>>Leroy

>>

>>Leroy knew this wasn't true either. He tore up the letter and started

>>again.

>>

>>LETTER 3:

>>Dear God:

>>I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will

>be a

>>good boy if you just send me a red bike for my birthday.

>>Thank you,

>>Leroy

>>

>>Leroy knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a

>

>>bike. By now, Leroy was very upset.

>>

>>He went downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go to church.

>>

>>Leroy's mother thought her plan had worked because Leroy looked very

>sad.

>>"Just be home in time for dinner," his mother said.

>>

>>Leroy walked down the street to the church and up to the altar.

>>

>>He looked around to see if anyone was there. He picked up a statue of

>the

>>Virgin Mary, slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down

>the

>>street, into his house, and up to his room.

>>

>>He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a

>pen

>>and wrote his letter to God.

>>

>>LETTER 4:

>>

>>I GOT YOUR MAMA.

>>

>>IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.

>>

>>Signed,

>>YOU KNOW WHO

[MLS]

The last one is really funny! [laugh]

 

Let's all not keep our toothbrush lying around.. Hide it!

[Simplesilver]

Use disposable toothbrushes!!!

[Josho]

Toothbrush is funny!

 

Mustank one lagi power. LOL BTH

[Mlimhs]

Another one but dun mean to offence any religion.

 

A teacher ask the preschoolers 'Does anybody wants to be with GOD?' Everybody raised their hands except Billy with both hands and legs up.

 

The teacher was curious and asked him 'Billy, why do you have to raise both legs?'

Billy answered 'Last nite, i saw my mum with a stranger on top of her, she raised both hands and legs straight right up and start screaming

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I'M CUMMING'