What do you do when your partner is acting all crazy

[Turbonetics]

this does not only happen to guys,but girls also.

[Turbonetics]

some people when they get angry,they lose their EQ.

so they can do anything without thinking of the consequences.

[Nutsack]

Let me guess, you have no children yet?

 

Rest assured that the attractiveness will be gone, and relationship put to the test when children arrive. Especially if you have no support on the home-front, i.e. just you and your wife and perhaps one set of in-laws not staying together with you. The workload will sorely test you, and you will then find out if you and your wife love enough for mutual sacrifice, or selfishness start to appear.

 

Well perhaps it's good that both of us are not interested in having children. Haha.

[Nutsack]

what did u do to deserve this?

 

Errr, usually she's just playing around. Like if I shake my leg, she'll "punish" me. Or if I forget something that she already told me she'll swing a punch over - at my balls. But stopped oredi after I told her I'm aching there. Haha.

 

Most of the time she gets physical but seldom in anger. The scary thing is she does it out of playfulness, like a kid? It happens maybe once a week. Other times she'll jab me in my waist cos I cannot take tickling.

 

That's not the issue. It's her occasional temper la. Her being physical is 99% playfulness. But I'm terrified when she tickles me, cos when she does so i cannot control my bodily movements and there were many a time that I move my arm and leg and it hit her... And that's when she gets angry. I'm like, you tickled me what. I told you when you tickle me, it's very hard to control my reflexes...

[Unfazed]

bro Unfazed, that statement don't sound very right when used it on your wife.. cos afterall you guys are going to spend the rest of your lives together.. that smells like revenge. Not that you were forced into marriage with her..

 

Peace! Both of you give and take here and there and it should be fine alright.

For me I dun like the feeling of being "makan" or "easy to makan". If wanna argue say constructive things, dun say something destructive. Forced into marriage? When you hate your in-laws at the very last min, can you give up everything, after all your spouse is innocent, so is it forced marriage? Actually saying is very easy, doing it is hard. But let me clarify here, pls do not assume I m tyrant or a vengeful person, I m jus stating some past occurences and how I deal with it, I m the sorta if I do something wrong, I apolgise also. I m sure some members here know my style.

Edited May 9, 2009 by Unfazed

[Unfazed]

seem like you are the one suffering, set yourself free [bounce1]

 

after reading the case on an abused husband Russell Tan who almost slashed his wife to death, notice mcf have similar cases [sweatdrop]

Cheers pls read my reply to MLS. I m free to roam...

[Unfazed]

Heh heh... I'm also surprised at all the problems aired here.

 

It may be too late now, but my advice is: when marrying, the number one priority should be the person's CHARACTER and VALUES. There must be compatibility in these two areas. Problems where the wife cannot stand the in-law, or no inclination to do housework, or no good with childcare, can be easily found out WAY, WAY BEFORE marriage. If u still go ahead with marriage, then be prepared that a person's character is VERY, VERY HARD TO CHANGE. Of course, I realize that many people marry for the looks or common interest/hobby - so be prepared for impending trouble, then, esp when there are children and housework-load increases.

 

Speaking of kids and housework-load, this is my next point: SACRIFICE is absolutely necessary in marriage, especially when kids come along. No more can you indulge in your time-consuming, personal hobbies like someone mention here, riding, etc. Doesn't sound right, but that's life, unless you're rich and employ lots of servants to support your wifey on the homefront while you scoot off to enjoy your personal hobbies. Personally I used to enjoy a lot of outdoor activities until kids came along and put a temporary stop to it. I figure when they are older, teens maybe - then I can pick up my hobbies where I left off...

Every family will have their own set of problems. What works well for you may not be so for others. Things that you feel can be found out way way before are only part of your values or beliefs. Some things only surfaced after marriage and you only know then. Whether you like it or not, we cannot predict what problems will come after marriage, whatever work well is a blessing, whatever dun it can be class as unfortunate.

 

The keyword here I think I should highlight is personal space and sometimes it comes in the form of hobby, of cos if it is too time-consuming for that hobby, then should not marry a partner at all. Marry that hobby instead. I know i will ride more often as my boy grows older too but I m not giving it up totally for the time being. These are my values.

[Unfazed]

Errr, usually she's just playing around. Like if I shake my leg, she'll "punish" me. Or if I forget something that she already told me she'll swing a punch over - at my balls. But stopped oredi after I told her I'm aching there. Haha.

 

Most of the time she gets physical but seldom in anger. The scary thing is she does it out of playfulness, like a kid? It happens maybe once a week. Other times she'll jab me in my waist cos I cannot take tickling.

 

That's not the issue. It's her occasional temper la. Her being physical is 99% playfulness. But I'm terrified when she tickles me, cos when she does so i cannot control my bodily movements and there were many a time that I move my arm and leg and it hit her... And that's when she gets angry. I'm like, you tickled me what. I told you when you tickle me, it's very hard to control my reflexes...

this cannot be class as abusive already, juz fooling ard with ea other.

[Vextan]

Heh heh... I'm also surprised at all the problems aired here.

 

It may be too late now, but my advice is: when marrying, the number one priority should be the person's CHARACTER and VALUES. There must be compatibility in these two areas. Problems where the wife cannot stand the in-law, or no inclination to do housework, or no good with childcare, can be easily found out WAY, WAY BEFORE marriage. If u still go ahead with marriage, then be prepared that a person's character is VERY, VERY HARD TO CHANGE. Of course, I realize that many people marry for the looks or common interest/hobby - so be prepared for impending trouble, then, esp when there are children and housework-load increases.

 

Speaking of kids and housework-load, this is my next point: SACRIFICE is absolutely necessary in marriage, especially when kids come along. No more can you indulge in your time-consuming, personal hobbies like someone mention here, riding, etc. Doesn't sound right, but that's life, unless you're rich and employ lots of servants to support your wifey on the homefront while you scoot off to enjoy your personal hobbies. Personally I used to enjoy a lot of outdoor activities until kids came along and put a temporary stop to it. I figure when they are older, teens maybe - then I can pick up my hobbies where I left off...

sosaria, i absolutely share the same experience as what you said. absolutely. i cannot agree more with your this two postings. myself married for 16 yrs with 2 kids and gone thru all the different stages of marriage and weathered all sorts of challenges, i noe it.

[Vextan]

i absolutely agree that before mariiage, most important is to choose a partner base on values and character, and if you can, find someone not hot tempered, down to earth, and very importantly, has a strong conscience (especially in men). but usually it is base on appearance and attractiveness that people chooses, and not beyond that.

 

i always believe that it is near impossible to change a person's character and weaknesses, and so their traits will rear its ugly head in time and pose challenges.

Edited May 9, 2009 by Vextan

[So_nice]

relationship is such a headache..wat would u do if ur partner is angry over something u did, and is avoiding u? any solutions to tat?

[Nerdyfrog]

my normal routine is option 1 then escalate to 2 then 3.

[Limhm]

ok ok...all e rant abt wives...but I cld fully understand cos it's nvr easy for 2 persons of different background to live tgt...

 

But hav u all hav of when a man get crazy, they can be worse than woman....Wm jus nag n nag, maybe throw thing ard...Recently there's a news on a man who go crazy n threw his few month's old bb gal into hot boiling water...n he's a hawker if I m nt wrong....the wife tried to save her gal but was pronounced dead aft....

 

When some man go crazy, they can be inhuman....My hb said," Own daughter oso bring her to boil...tis man shd slowly boil him from his leg, hand, body n to head...see how he feel. Send him to the 8th level hell...."

[Dunno]

Very often, women go "crazy" because they lack something which they kept wanting for a long time but never get it, eg, attention. They don't tell you because they don't want you to say they are attention seeking, but after keeping and building up inside, they just go "crazy" without them even knowing. The only solution is to really know what they want, may not be something materialistic, eg, go shopping, etc, but sometimes it's just as simple as spending more time with them, accompanying her to do something she enjoys, etc.

 

Learnt that the hard way...but of course, both sides have to put in the effort for things to work out. So it's good to have some serious talk with her when her mood is good.

[Limhm]

For me, it's real simple....simply a long tight hug n kiss....everything will be alright le....

 

 

[Ahgongwolve]

if you ask this question you are doomed.. better divorce faster

[DarkSide]

Interesting thread...

 

For some of u who never experience all this, It can be quite difficult to understand and comprehend...

I've put up with unreasonable behaviour for some years now...

As much as I completely respect women's right of equality,I hope they understand the responsibility part too...

 

For me, she just "trip" my main switch and I'm now in the process of moving on....

 

If a man is expected to restrain or even completely refrain from physical abuse, women should refrain from emotional abuse which may lead to psychological abuses unknowingly...

I have never laid a finger on my wife but the instability that her emotional abuses caused, ultimately led to an unrepairable marriage..

 

Watch what and where you are pushing, if it goes over the cliff, it's too late as in my case...

There are limits to everything, hence the responsibility part have to be understood by both parties, man and woman..

 

Violence is completely out of the question.

 

Good luck to those who are facing similiar problems...

Try your very best to salvage the situation but if your best is not good enough,it's time to move on...

Nobody gets into a marriage to get divorce...

 

Equality comes with responsibility

 

cheers!

[shakehead]

Edited May 10, 2009 by DarkSide

[Chevy88]

Very often, women go "crazy" because they lack something which they kept wanting for a long time but never get it, eg, attention. They don't tell you because they don't want you to say they are attention seeking, but after keeping and building up inside, they just go "crazy" without them even knowing. The only solution is to really know what they want, may not be something materialistic, eg, go shopping, etc, but sometimes it's just as simple as spending more time with them, accompanying her to do something she enjoys, etc.

 

Learnt that the hard way...but of course, both sides have to put in the effort for things to work out. So it's good to have some serious talk with her when her mood is good.

 

For my case I wonder how valid is this statement when it applies to my end. Since getting to know my gf up til now, we tend to have arguments here and thr. At times I just find it too extreme for she get very touchy easily or shall I say emotional. She will chide me for this and that and the last thing she will say is that I do not understand her enuff. She simply has a lot of things to penalise me about. Example, while we were walking and she ask whether I saw it and later realise she was referring to that lady with her lower back exposed, things like that and I say I did not really see properly but guess she has a tatoo on her back which later I found out she doesn't and she will get angry with me and then says I dn't understand... how on earth I know what is she referring to? sorry if you dn't get my meaning guys.

 

I get so boil and frustrated everytime we go thru this tussle. Just wondering if I have not show enuff care for her or what. But just do not know why she gets pissed off at the slight thing which I find is so macro but she will say is 1 heck of a thing to her. Then we start quarrelling again. To think if this goes on, what will happen if we eventually get married? Very nerve racking. Very likely will go crazy b4 she does. Wondering will this kind of relationship last? Am I missing something in a relationship that I ought to know? Thanks.