Good friends. Stand by you during hard times?

[T_orange]

I was in the process of applying for something important. Then, one part of the application required a guarantor for an amount of somehere 70,000 sgd. I had an unpleasant shock... because the staff in charge didn't inform me of that and gave me only like 3 days to find a guarantor for that amount.

 

So, I checked out my phone list to find someone. One cousin agreed to be my guarantor. But, on that evening before the day we went down to the office, she backed out and excused herself due to last min recall from office. Another friend didn't reply my sms once I asked him if he could be guarantor.

 

It was a frantic search.... then finally I stopped... because I realised that when I needed help, many people don't seem to be there. It seem like people are no longer as helpful. When u need help, they are somehow unavailable. When times are good, they appear. I needed help badly and also because the application was for something very impt (shall not elaborate what it is).

 

My point in this thread is, have a look at who are your real good friends when you are in sh*t, because during good times you will never be able to see their true colors. You cannot tell who you can depend, until sh*t happens. Be wise and be generous only to those who willingly stand by you. Its true also, people look after their a$$ first... then their buddies. So look after your own a$$ 1st, even if your buddy is in sh*t.

Edited June 20, 2008 by T_orange

[Simplyme]

jus so happen u have not mit the really good frens who will stick wif u thru good or bad times... and so happen tat i found 2 frens in this forum who were with me thru my good n bad times... spending all the time they could to help me thru difficult times... don be so negative on this... will find real good buddies jus tat smtimes even if they are ard u jus don notice them

[Mage]

so...$$$ is a measure of good frens?

[Jeffang]

think back please!

if your friend want you to be his/her guarantor... will you agree?

 

if u dun wan then of cos he/she also not want to be yours too!

Edited June 20, 2008 by Jeffang

[Rainman]

Nice words are soft to ears... to me good frens are those who can give u a knock on ur head before u goes astray.

 

$$$ usually complicates thing. Even ur own blood can turn back on u becos of $$$.

[Mahjong74]

If you look thru the whole phone list and yet cannot

even find one that can help you, the problem might be you, yourself.

 

Not everyone can or afford to be a guarantor of $70k.

Or can I said that we should measure friendship based

on how much she or he can help or be a guarantor for a huge

sum of $$$.

 

Well, many years ago I also need 2 guarantor

for a quite huge sum of loan. Called up 2 friends

and they agree straight away.

 

Of cos, what you said is true from a certain point of view.

But I believe you have yet find the real friends.

[Ldawn88]

what's your definition of true friend?

 

Only what you mentioned? or are there more than those that you mentioned?

 

Understandable that no one are 'standing' by you. Life is tough these days.

[Fondue]

How many friends can you name, whom you will be willing to be their guarantor for 70K ?

Maybe a few. ok.

 

Now, if you are married or has a partner, if her friends want her to be their gaurantor, who you have allowed her at all ?

 

Its easy to say the people around you are not real friends, but maybe these people really cannot afford to cough out the 70k should something happen, or maybe, they have other commitment that are just, if not more important to protect, i.e. family.

 

There is no such thing as a risk free guarantor. If its really risk free, then nobody will ask for a guarantor. I personally have seen my friends getting into trouble as guarantor just because they were kind enough to help a friend. I will not put friends in such a position. If I need a guarantor to buy something, then, maybe I can't afford the item.

 

When a person is doing well, he may not remember all his friends.

But when in need, he will think of all the "friends" that can help him out.

[Mage]

being a guarantor for you (70k in ur case) means that the guarantor needs to fork out the money in the event if u are unable to pay.

 

There's a lot of people out there that may have a bunch of cash sitting in fixed deposits and stuff, but there are also a lot of people who do not have extra cash or just making ends meet.

 

Would it be fair to (referring to those who are struggling or financially "just about there" to make ends meet) label them as "non-good" friends if they choose not to help you cuz they have their parents/spouse/kids to think of first?.. What if they get sued bankrupt? would you be able to help when you can't even pay your own loan in this case? Would it be fair to them?

 

Yes, Life sucks, life is unfair.. Take it upon yourself to find the cash if you are short of $$$ for whatever you are applying. You owe it to yourself for your own livelihood, nobody owes you a living.

 

Lastly, $$$ is definitely not a measure of good friends.

[Dumb]

I was in the process of applying for something important. Then, one part of the application required a guarantor for an amount of somehere 70,000 sgd. I had an unpleasant shock... because the staff in charge didn't inform me of that and gave me only like 3 days to find a guarantor for that amount.

 

So, I checked out my phone list to find someone. One cousin agreed to be my guarantor. But, on that evening before the day we went down to the office, she backed out and excused herself due to last min recall from office. Another friend didn't reply my sms once I asked him if he could be guarantor.

 

It was a frantic search.... then finally I stopped... because I realised that when I needed help, many people don't seem to be there. It seem like people are no longer as helpful. When u need help, they are somehow unavailable. When times are good, they appear. I needed help badly and also because the application was for something very impt (shall not elaborate what it is).

 

My point in this thread is, have a look at who are your real good friends when you are in sh*t, because during good times you will never be able to see their true colors. You cannot tell who you can depend, until sh*t happens. Be wise and be generous only to those who willingly stand by you. Its true also, people look after their a$$ first... then their buddies. So look after your own a$$ 1st, even if your buddy is in sh*t.

 

Get real. They rather lose a friend then lose a friend + $$$$$$.

[Dynaway]

good frens... never talk abt $$$$

 

n when u lend someone $$$ dun expect tat person to pay u back....its jus tat simple logic.

 

$70k isnt a very small sum... not a very big amount also..... but to some ppl, they mean everything in their life.

[Cheekg98]

[Parkingidiot]

I agree with this. So far at least two people I know have been declared bankrupt because they were guarantors to other friends (different incidents) - where the borrower defaulted, and the guarantors were held liable. $70K is no small sum.

 

Even if my best friend or relative wants - I don't know I can afford to be the guarantor. But that does not mean I am not a true friend - if need to be by their side through difficult times, help out with what i can afford, i surely would. If need to guarantor a sum I can afford - I surely would. But if you put a knife to their neck and ask, not sure what any friend can do....

[Banban]

think back please!

if your friend want you to be his/her guarantor... will you agree?

 

if u dun wan then of cos he/she also not want to be yours too!

70k is a huge sum

[Beei]

Can I know when is the last time you called your friends for a outing, lim kopi, dinner, or even just to TCSS, etc??

 

Imagine 1 year never meet, and first thing is to ask people to be your guarantor..

[David]

Did you notice, below your nick there is this comment/remark about which gear you are on, you are on 2nd gear? In order to reach 6th gear you got to work on it. Not unless you want to be a thread sponsor.

[Gz0707]

I think TS is being naive and wans justification for his unhappiness. Pp have gotten into trouble becos of a relative buying LCD tv for a mere 5k. when money no more, the borrower will just shrug and say 'wad can i do? no money liao' and leave guarantor in a lurch.

 

somemore this sounds like a car purchase.

[Silver_blade]

Cannot judge a friend like that.

 

For example, assuming you are drowning. Before your friend save you, that friend also have to see if he can swim or not (assume only way to save you if for him to jump into the water), otherwise both of you will die together.

 

Being a guarantor for $70k, your friend also need to consider if he has the ability to pay that amount + interest should you have problem repaying the installment. Otherwise, how is he going to help you?