Wife vs Mother

[Driven]

Wife goes: "Yr mother ah....pisses me off, stubborn freak, cant stand her....!"

Mother goes:" yr wife ah...unappreciative, complain this , complain that....!"

Ring a bell, guys? To some lucky ones, this may sound alien. Unfortunately, majority of the guys face these ill fate.Between the protracted tug of wars, sad to say you can never take side. If you do, you are either labelled as defensive or offensive.

 

Chinese saying "one mountain cannot hide 2 tigers." IMHO, its very true. Truce is never found in their dictionary. Interestingly , you are the man of her(wife)life and you are also the forever little boy in her(mother)eyes. These 2 bigots trying to overthrow each other to gain tyranny. Whoever wins, the guy is usually the casualty. Torn between these 2, how well and happy can he be..? One is his love and the one is his mother, how?

 

Guys

How do you handle such similar situation if any? Any experience to share?

 

Gals

What would you like your man to do ? Listen..Defend...Silence?

 

I hope this is not contentious.

[Albeniz]

I am not surprised that for some guys, divorce might be the easiest way out.

[Driven]

Assuming he loves his wife, divorce is bit too harsh to settle the spat between them.

[Ultramega]

The best way to handle such situations is to lie to both sides.

 

When wife complains, agree with her and say it's mother's fault.

 

When mother complains, agree with her and say it's wife's fault.

 

This way, both ladies will think they have you on their side. They will feel they have "won" and will be happy.

[Driven]

Honestly, how do you feel when wiffy constantly complain abt your mum for whatever reasons. Some are genuine, some are just trivial.

 

The wiffy nowadays are smart and intelligent. They know you are trying to playing goody man.. Cant smoke them for long , dude?

 

Very soon, you get tired of the nagging...and find her unreasonable.... how?

[Krieger]

Hi Driven I suppose you are staying with your mum? If so, i think u shld move out and stay on your own. IF not later they two will get worse. Women....

[Ultramega]

Big complains, agree with whoever complains. This is to calm them down (key point).

 

Small complains, once in a while do the opposite - disagree with the one who complains. This will give them the message that they are not always right, which will in turn make them believe you are not playing goody man. And because it's a small complain, disagreeing will not create too much unhappiness. So if they are unhappy it's will still be managable.

 

It's difficult to describe in words. Got to act according to situation.

[Genie47]

There is only one tiger. Your wife. The marriage contract is with your wife. Not your mother. Sad to say, mothers have to realize that once sons are married, they are committed to their wives. Ask your mother how does she like it if your father sided with his mother in situations like these.

 

As simple as that. Clueless dimwits will argue that you have only one mother but you can get another wife. Yeah, right. Ask your mother if she is happy your father thinks that way too.

 

Tell your mom to let you handle your wife. If you want to stick the hard truth, tell her you live with your wife now and not with your mother. You got more to lose with your wife than with your mom.

 

People who tell you to give divorce a chance have no clue whatsoever about marriage.

Edited April 22, 2008 by Genie47

[Genie47]

Don't lie. Tell mom to STFU and the woman in question is your wife. Go home then close the door and tell your wife to STFU and the woman in question is your mother.

 

For goodness sake, wear the pants at home and behave like you wear the pants. No need to make them feel happy. You must be HAPPY FIRST.

[Karoon]

i'd say ok mommy, then when i do watever it takes with wife to get laid

[Genie47]

Stand by her. Wear the pants and show her the way. If she is wrong, lead her into the bedroom and tell her privately. Whatever happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Whatever happens outside the bedroom doesn't mean you are barred from coming back to the bedroom at night. Both have no right to bar each other from the peace and refuge the bedroom offers.

[Genie47]

If the house is yours it is yours. You got every right to be the one that wears the pants. His mom should know that. What respect can a man get when his mother bosses him around with nagging and complaining like he's a kid? No wife would respect a man like that.

 

In conclusion. Wear the pants in the house. Whatever it is, don't throw the mom into the streets. Tell mom you wear the pants and what she is doing erodes your credibility as husband and man of the house.

[Chongster]

best way is to stay out every night with your PRC/vietnamese/filipino/thai* shag

 

*delete as appropriate

[Wanderer]

U r the man!

 

See human, speak human language. See ghost, speak ghost language.

 

And u always pull them apart and talk to them separately?

[Hishercar]

if may want to seek the help of a marriage counsellor or an independent third party such as an independent friend (NOT relative) to mitigate both sides

 

usually it helps because they will negotiate their own "territory" and there will be peace

 

good luck

[Ultramega]

  Quote

Don't lie. Tell mom to STFU and the woman in question is your wife. Go home then close the door and tell your wife to STFU and the woman in question is your mother.

 

For goodness sake, wear the pants at home and behave like you wear the pants. No need to make them feel happy. You must be HAPPY FIRST.

 

Agree with you that bottom line, I must be happy first. That's why i chose to do what i did. Cos telling the ladies STFU does not make me happy. Got nothing to do with wearing pants.

 

Whatever works. Something may work for me but not you and vice versa. Cheers.

[Ultramega]

They still have respect for each other so they don't clash head-on. Always complain to me in private and tell me to pass the message. So no need me to pull them apart.

[Tckrto]

i buy ear plug problem solve liao.