"Hello uncle!!!"

The daughter of one of my neighbours, probably no older than four, animatedly greeted me as I passed them along the corridor. I courteously smiled and said hello in return.

The child's parents praised her. "Oh good! You said hi to uncle!"

Whoever this girl's pre-school teachers are, they are also doing a great job of helping to raise a polite child.

Photo: Aaron Blanco Tejedor, Unsplash

Unbeknownst to them, however, was the swell of anxiety that this interaction had triggered. Right after I had smiled and waved, I wanted to sprint back into the house, cover myself with a blanket and hide under the bed.

Ironically, I have no trouble giving a presentation at work. And though I'm not a gifted, charismatic orator, I'm also comfortable speaking in front of a hundred people on topics I'm familiar with. However, interacting with children makes me feel awkward and anxious.

Overthinking worsens the apprehension. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I accidentally blurt out a swear word while talking to the parents? What if I don't swear, but complain or say something negative while trying to make small talk? Or worse, in my edginess, I end up making a bad joke (probably toilet humour, horrors) while trying to calm myself? *Facepalm*

My better half, of course, has no such issues. She is the one who plays with our three-year-old nephew. Having long realised that his uncle has little to no interest in interacting with him, he hardly approaches me. I have not progressed beyond the hellos and "Oh that's nice" when he shows me one of his toys.

Photo: Lucas Favre, Unsplash

A product of my environment

Why do I find interacting with children awkward? Perhaps it's my upbringing. My maternal grandmother was the eldest daughter in her family, so my mum's aunts and uncles didn't have their kids till much later. Hence, by the time my second cousins arrived, I was already a teenager with no interest in carrying babies or playing with toddlers.

It's the opposite on my dad's side. His older siblings had their kids earlier, so by the time I came along, my cousins had no interest in playing with me.

As I child, I interacted with my classmates and other kids at playgrounds. But I never had to interact with children as I got older. So, being around them is awkward, to say the least.

Well, my neighbours don't know about this. That morning, beneath the unruffled exterior, an innocent greeting caused air raid sirens to blare. Alongside them was a voice over the internal loudhailer yelling, "Take cover! Run away! Save yourself!"

Fortunately, my neighbours entered the lift while I was sending recyclables down the chute. I relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief.

Photo: Kelly Sikkema, Unsplash

However, I realised that I should have waited five minutes before heading downstairs, for the girl and her mum were standing in the carpark waiting for the dad to bring the car around. Nervously, I assumed that since greetings had been exchanged, I could quietly walk by without anyone needing to say anything.

I was mistaken. The moment I appeared in their line of sight, I was again greeted with a "Hello uncle!!!" with the same enthusiasm. The mum again praised her daughter for being courteous, as I mustered a diplomatic smile and wave in response.

Well, it could have been 'worse'. The child could have been inquisitive and started asking where I was going, which would have led to a chat (albeit reluctantly).

Like most folks, my neighbourly interactions are few and far between as I prefer keeping to myself. Besides, since everyone's work schedule is different, you hardly run into your neighbours anyway.

Photo: Adam Jang, Unsplash

Personal growth goal

That said, this experience made me realise that I need to start overcoming my anxieties/insecurities. So, I've been preparing myself for the inevitability of encountering this family again.

There is always room for personal growth. I am determined to overcome my apprehension as my immediate neighbour has a daughter who is almost two and given her parents' friendly disposition (they introduced themselves when they moved in), chances are their child will be, too.

Remaining comfortable no matter what situation you're in is something worth striving for. At the very least, my neighbours might even start to think I'm a cool uncle. More importantly, perhaps in some small way, I'm helping those parents bring up courteous children.

– Jeremy